What is the worst Christmas present you ever received?

[Newdad19]

In the spirit of helping others prevent the same mistakes... what is the worst Christmas present you ever received?

Mines has to be the sculpted hand photo frame I received one year... that looked like someone's decapitated hand that held a photo for you in its palm

DGS aged 5 may be contributing to this thread after Christmas. He's obsessed by dinosaurs so I've bought him a lump of fossilised dino poo.

@Praguemum

Secret Santa at work. Penis shaped ice cube tray. I was 40 and married with two young kids!

At one of ours someone was given a wee bullet vibrator....

I was the smelly kid (General neglect amongst other things.) I used to go to a church and we were picked up every week to go to it by one of the congregation. I remember one Christmas, I was 7/8 yo and we were all given a gift and were opening them there and then. I watched, with excitement building, at everyone opening their presents and finding an exciting toy. It got to mine and I could hardly contain myself, only to open my present of a box of smellies. I was crushed.

A fucking pop-up colander.....

A stolen pair of binoculars!

ExFIL gave me a can of rum and coke. He wrapped it and everything.

Mine wasn’t a Christmas present but I had been looking for a mannequin for my clothing designs at an Antiques fair and I had spotted a silver new looking one for £30 but as I didn’t have a car at the time I didn’t buy it. My father surprised me by buying a mannequin and it was dropped to my mother’s by the son of what had previously been his mistress. It was a mannequin with drawn nipples on , no hands and a big hairy faux fur triangle merkin/ lady garden stuck between its legs . It had been customised so there was crusted glue all splattered down the inner thighs. Freaky was not the word. It was so ugly and my thoughts at the time were what had the mannequin been used for ??How could I possibly use these when its so ugly and with no hands. It had a used sex doll vibe ( shudder) it was bad ju ju and I made sure my uncle collected it and took it away immediately plus I wanted a family member ( father’s side) to see what he had given me. It could have been in the bargain section or it was ment to be offensive? My Sister got loo roll as a housewarming present from them which just seems bizarre unless she was running short and they knew in the future loo roll would become rare and precious 😂
I don’t get gifts from my father Thank Goodness as this was a long time ago but wins the worst present by miles in memory but nothing beats 3 dead rats!

The year I had dd1 (6 days before Christmas) we went to the in laws. Present from SIL was a display of bread and dried flowers she'd made herself. His gran gave us a dried flower display in a terracotta pot boot. His brother gave us something similar. His mum gave us a filter tap - she was into selling them at the time. Fucking amazing. Made me feel so so bloody special. There's a reason we have nothing to do with them at all now. DH's sister got much better more personal presents than us.

HelplesslyHoping

What the hell have I just read?! I cannot believe she did that. I am literally lost for words

See, reading through all these reminds me why I don’t bother with presents except for those closest to me!

Spot cream whilst on medical treatment for Acne

My now ex.. the tackiest gold jewellery set in a big red velvet heart shaped box. In the - several - years we’d been together I’d never once worn yellow gold! We didn’t have a lot of money, and I could have cried that he’d gone out and spent it on something so far the opposite of my taste.

DinoMamasaurus

Some bath stuff that had a sticker on the front which read “may cause urinary tract discomfort”. Thanks - sounds super relaxing! Lol

Shehasadiamondinthesky

Nothing says divorce like car tyres
😂😂😂😂👍

I was gifted a 3 tier vegetable steamer from Argos he had chosen the super yacht of vegetable steamers and it took up the entire kitchen worktop . I was living in a tiny flat solo after 2 yrs in the relationship and was sick of wheeling a suitcase back and forth between his and mine. That Christmas gift was the final straw.

@SallyWD

I got my SIL a gift for her birthday. A lot of thought went in to this gift. When it was Christmas she wrapped it up and gave it back to me. The whole family watched and laughed as I opened it. I felt really confused and embarrassed. I still don't understand what that was all about. If she didn't want the gift she could have given it to charity. It was very odd and out of character for my in laws to behave like this. They're usually kind and thoughtful!

That's just awful. I bet that made you feel so sad!

@SnottyLottie

A cheap flimsy handbag holder that probably cost a quid. I wouldn’t have minded so much if I knew the person was financially struggling but she kept bragging about how affluent she was and how her Xmas presents were going to be the best. She was a bit snobby and didn’t want to be embarrassed so I had spent quite a bit on her presents (a lovely photo album and perfume). It was a bit of a slap in the face to be honest.

Meanwhile that same year, a friend who was seriously short of money made me a lovely hand made bag of sweets that was beautifully presented. I loved it and was so happy that she had made such a thoughtful effort.

this ..

A diary for the previous year.
Some pop socks.

My husband got me in a family Secret Santa, I'd worked out my Secret Santa was my husband and I really thought I was opening a camera but it was a bin for the bathroom.

A long sleeveless smock dress the shape and colour of a burlap sack, from exMIL one year.

I exchanged it for a pair of snow boots.

My husband asked me what I would like for Christmas I said a handbag and he got me a fancy pen. 🙈🙈

An enormous cardigan, it looked like a housecoat. It stretched when washed so it also gained baggy long arms. I would only wear it indoors as it was a bit like a rug with buttons.

2 years ago my MIL gave me a block of Asda cheddar. All wrapped up like a normal present. She'd arrived the day before with all her gifts wrapped so it hadn't been in the fridge for goodness knows how long either. I think I managed to say thank you and look appreciative.

Six pairs of sock from my great-aunt, with the comment, "I just can't find cute clothes for a girl your size."

@nancydrew

A vibrating foot massaging giant slipper that you put both feet into. I was 30 years old, I don’t think I was the target demographic. It was returned to the shop by my then boyfriend. All my friends laughed.

My friend was given a packet of pegs and some dishwasher tablets by either her mum or grandma

I’d love the foot massager! Even if I were in my 20s.

@me109f

An enormous cardigan, it looked like a housecoat. It stretched when washed so it also gained baggy long arms. I would only wear it indoors as it was a bit like a rug with buttons.

😂

A wrapped Slimming World magazine... thanks mum, just what I wanted on Christmas day as I'm stuffing my face