What is the worst Christmas present you ever received?

[Newdad19]

In the spirit of helping others prevent the same mistakes... what is the worst Christmas present you ever received?

Mines has to be the sculpted hand photo frame I received one year... that looked like someone's decapitated hand that held a photo for you in its palm

A Buddha statue.

I'm catholic

@Harlequin1088

My Mum has this awful habit of doing her Christmas shopping in whatever shop she happens to find herself in on Christmas Eve.

One year, it was Halfords. On Christmas morning, I opened an ice scraper, a car air freshener, and an AA Road Map of Great Britain.

I was 14.

I read that as Harrod's, at first!

I thought 'that's an odd approach to gift buying in Harrod's'

I've put my glasses on now.

A three foot 'Flat Eric' plush figure.
From a Uni BF.
Because I had mentioned that I had liked the advert when I was about ten.

A different ex, whose Mother was not my biggest fan for some reason, bought me a mosquito net and some almost out-of-date toiletries. Recommended by the Mother.

A cheap flimsy handbag holder that probably cost a quid. I wouldn’t have minded so much if I knew the person was financially struggling but she kept bragging about how affluent she was and how her Xmas presents were going to be the best. She was a bit snobby and didn’t want to be embarrassed so I had spent quite a bit on her presents (a lovely photo album and perfume). It was a bit of a slap in the face to be honest.

Meanwhile that same year, a friend who was seriously short of money made me a lovely hand made bag of sweets that was beautifully presented. I loved it and was so happy that she had made such a thoughtful effort.

Not mine but my daughters. My mum bought her a cardigan with lurex shiny thread that was way to small (she was also a goth at the time). She asked for the receipt so she could exchange it for something the right size. At this point my mother took the hump, snatched it back and said she would exchange it. She then informed my daughter she had exchanged it for a can of Elnett which she gave to her niece instead

I love these threads, some gifts I have received that raised an eyebrow:

Mustache Bleach (for a 15 year old blonde girl with no excessive body hair issues)

Weight Lifting Equipment (was high risk pregnant and never shown any interest in weight lifting in my life - this was the only one I have been really annoyed about)

A Living Pet (the shock was intense and exciting for exactly 1 minute before I realised I had an angry shitting machine that hated me and would cost a fortune - I never even hinted at wanting one and it was the last pet I would ever choose for myself)

A book for boys about how to be boyish (? still confused now as to why)

A Barbie (was nearly a teenager and never liked dolls)

A Mop (I have carpets)

A Leaflet (Works Secret Santa - they clearly forgot and I got a leaflet from the lobby, unwrapped of course)

I've got to the point in life where I expect crap so I no longer care, the funny bad ones like above stick in my head though and occasionally a good one does surprise me.

I think I'm more of a giver than a receiver anyway, I love buying gifts for others and I don't really expect anything back from anyone except DH.

Oh, one out of an open 3 pack of 99p car air fresheners too... to be honest, I didn't expect a gift at all anyway and watched them fumble in their car door pocket so don't tend to count it as a real gift lol.

My brother has form for bad presents.

As a teenager I wanted to study art and I used to do a lot of crafts.

I would still do crafts if I could, but I have arthritis in just about every joint in my body, my hands are effected to the point of me needing steroid jabs to get the fingers almost straight. I use assistive technology on my computer to type.

So my brother has, over the years, bought me:

Fimo and tools
Adult colouring book and pencils
A Ukulele
A few books that are too heavy for me to hold and which I might have appreciated as an e-book
A puzzle where you stack up tiny wooden cats

It's almost as if he thinks, "what can't my sister do any more?"

Apparently I am difficult to buy for.

I have been using the same perfume for decades, I love my kindles and would love vouchers for Amazon, I love red wine and really appreciate a nice whisky.

I am also known for giving / finding good presents, I wonder why.

@Primrosefields

A Buddha statue.

I'm catholic

Oh, I got a Satanist book and statue thing in a secret Santa once and then had to smile as they told me how thoughtfully they picked it out for me.

I literally have a big cross tattooed on my arm, always wear a cross, my kids attended religious school and I married in a church and they knew that as we were friendly outside of work too.

Wonderbra
Why do they even make them in a 36DD?
I could have used my boobs as a table - they entered a room quite a bit before the rest of me!

Mine was from dh last year. He bought me a womaniser. So Christmas morning in front of the dc he gives it to me, along with 2 pairs of fingerless gloves from amazon ( in fairness I had asked for some but was hoping for nice thick ones not thin nylon rubbish ones). I was so disappointed. Obviously due to covid we couldn't see my sister who lives away. So her fiance bought her an ipad for Christmas so we could video call. I know I might sound ungrateful but I did have a good cry in the shower. My parent's were coming over for Christmas and I knew they'd ask what I'd had from him. I was just embarrassed- "oh he got me a vibrator mum!" I'm not grabby, but I would have been happiet with a book and some pick and mix.

Secret Santa - shower cap that looked like a Christmas pudding. It wasn't supposed to be a joke Secret Santa and the budget was £15 I think, I got someone their favourite chocolates and some handcream (she always had a bottle on her desk so I thought she'd like it.)

I felt humiliated.

@Tiredmum100

Mine was from dh last year. He bought me a womaniser. So Christmas morning in front of the dc he gives it to me, along with 2 pairs of fingerless gloves from amazon ( in fairness I had asked for some but was hoping for nice thick ones not thin nylon rubbish ones). I was so disappointed. Obviously due to covid we couldn't see my sister who lives away. So her fiance bought her an ipad for Christmas so we could video call. I know I might sound ungrateful but I did have a good cry in the shower. My parent's were coming over for Christmas and I knew they'd ask what I'd had from him. I was just embarrassed- "oh he got me a vibrator mum!" I'm not grabby, but I would have been happiet with a book and some pick and mix.

Does he think he's a bit inadequate?

How did the children react, are they old enough to know what it was?

I just can't imagine what possessed him. Are you going to buy him one of those blow up dolls this year?

[quote FelicityBeedle]@SirVixofVixHall
I think they’re describing those toys that contain a picture of a bald man, some iron filings and a magnet. You use the magnet on the back of the toy to give the bloke hair. In this case you use it to give the woman pubes[/quote]
OH !! Ha ha ha. I never thought of the iron filings hair man. I have been trying to imagine a hairpiece that attaches by some magnetic means.

A friend had a MIL who didn’t like her at all and one year friend unwrapped a box of After Eights for Christmas, with almost all of the little envelopes empty…

My DH got me a Black and Decker workbench for my birthday. I was incensed. The worst part was that I had already got a cheap workbench I bought in Aldi years before that was perfectly adequate for my occasional mini DIY efforts. But DH wanted a proper branded one.
My DH has always been utterly clueless about presents. I mostly buy my own now. Fortunately he does have other qualities.

@fallfallfall

my first bra...3 of them...from 3 family members all recorded on film. i'll never forget, never.

Did they do it to deliberately humiliate you?

I can't think why else they would record it, though...

from my parents - late teens. A book and a CD. Which I already had. Because it was the third consecutive Christmas they'd bought me the same book and same CD.
Beats the birthday they said they hadn't got around to getting me a present, then never did.

DP's present from MIL would invariably be something that could be "bought" with petrol stamps, or an unwanted "re-gift" (which is almost generous, given that as a student MIL would charge £5 if DP came home from Uni for the weekend).

One Christmas, DM once gave DP back the actual present DP had given DM the Christmas before (passed off as new).

from my parents - late teens. A book and a CD. Which I already had. Because it was the third consecutive Christmas they'd bought me the same book and same CD.
Beats the birthday they said they hadn't got around to getting me a present, then never did.

What was the book and CD

On that third Christmas, you should have been reading the book they gave you last year and had the cd they gave you last year playing!

We'd just been talking about them. I.e I said they were good reviews about them on mn actually 🙄. Luckily dc were too preoccupied in their presents to notice, plus as soon as I opened it and saw what it was I took it straight upstairs and put it in the back of the cupboard. Funnily enough we were talking about Christmas presents and I suggested a night away instead. For my birthday this year I had gardening shoes, again at my request. Boring I am!

@DavidDevantsSpiritWife

Many years ago exH bought me a beautiful personalised artisan leather makeup bag. Only problem was it was personalised with the OW's name. The one he gave her was personalised with my name.

I can laugh about it now but I've had better Christmas mornings

Nooooooo sorry but that makes me laugh in horror. Was that hoe you found out? Well, karma for him I guess.

My DH gave me car mats, and he insisted it was my best present and I should open it last. He has form tho, gave me a sieve this year for my bday. I buy myself something I like now.

Sorey thats in reply to @Ancientgran

One year I had a catering pack of cling film from my mother in law. She was right it was useful and lasted for years. So thoughtful!

A set of jump leads
An electric tin opener

Both from DH. He knows it's best to just give me cash now, as he's still rather rubbish at choosing gifts.

My DH got me sexy underwear last year.

It was some kind of cheap looking, faux silk and scratchy lace corset thingy that was neither comfortable or supportive and hence served no purpose as actual underwear. It was also far too small hence it didn't look remotely sexy so not even wearable for sex. I looked like a Viz character in it.

I have had underwear in the past as a gift from him and it's been lovely matching bra and pants sets in my actual size and stuff I could wear every day.

I couldn't believe he had got it so wrong.

An ex was working in Hong Kong for six months and for Xmas he sent me a pair of his joggers I used to sometimes wear. They were all frayed and had what looked like curry stains on them. Maybe it was meant to remind me of him but I found it a bit weird - and I also knew it was because he was too lazy to get me anything! I'd sent him a big care package of all treats and things from home that he wanted. He could have just sent me some local sweets/snacks or something and I'd have been delighted!

I also got a football shirt from another ex as my sole gift one year. That relationship pretty much died there and then.