Christmas Poncing fine, but surely this is insane?

[TrickyD]

I read this ‘advice’ in the Daily Wail today. Some party expert or other.

Utilise the floor space by weaving garlands between presents under the Christmas tree and add fake snow to corners and the bottom of table legs.

I also use toy trains snaking through the presents or travelling through the dining table. Both can be bought cheaply, and look adorable, creating the wonder of a Christmas morning.

Fake snow on table legs anyone?

@TrickyD

I read this ‘advice’ in the Daily Wail today. Some party expert or other.

Utilise the floor space by weaving garlands between presents under the Christmas tree and add fake snow to corners and the bottom of table legs.

I also use toy trains snaking through the presents or travelling through the dining table. Both can be bought cheaply, and look adorable, creating the wonder of a Christmas morning.

Fake snow on table legs anyone?

Ok, so the 'toy trains snaking through the presents or traveling through the dining table' is ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS.

And a recipe for family members breaking their necks tripping over it, surely...

Just what stretched NHS staff in A and E need on Christmas day I would say....

LIkewise the 'weaving of garlands between presents under the christmas tree and fake snow...table legs...'

Just chuck some cotton balls around et voila, Santa sharted.

@TwinklyBranch

Fake snow? Amateurs. I keep real snow in my freezer and pile it round the table legs before every meal from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day.

Love it.

That sounds like a fucking mess! You'd still be vacuuming all the shite up come next Christmas .

Does our own dear Queen have fake snow and a train running around the presents ?

@Floundery

I had a Cox & Cox Christmas train that I weaved around the tree/table legs once.

I can still remember the warm feeling of my labrador's puke running down my back after he ate the caboose. And the grand I had to spend at the vet to get him emetic medicine.

Happy days.

I’m so sorry but that really made me 😆

Poor dog though obviously.

According to an expert party planner, the chic modern host will opt for a fake tree, or even better a wooden one,
(^^ borrowed from the DM!)

"or even better a wooden one" 😂 I take quite a lot of care when choosing my real Christmas Tree, so I don't like to think how many hours I have spent in doing so. Therefore I don't know where that expert party planner has gone in the past for their Christmas Trees, but my real trees have all been wooden ones!

Oh, this thread has cheered me up so much! You're all very funny

Hearts would my one I got from parents when left home count as chic?

It is from the 70s, branches etc have really thin tinsel wrapped round. It's obviously been well used. About 2.5 feet tall.

I always knew I was a natural on trend host!

My friend once bought a Christmas train to go round the base of her Christmas tree. We snorted about it but, we were wrong, it were bluddy lovely 🎄🚂🚃🚃🚃🚃

I remember seeing a Sunday supplement from years ago where they had photos of this marvellous cottage where the designer had made paper decorations from wonderfully festive pink copies of the FT. Even as a kid it seemed stupid! And they get paid for this?

Ugh, I HATE U shaped tables! You end up with your back to half the guests if you have to use the inside of the U as well as the outside (the only time I've ever experienced it, this was the case)

Christmas wankery gets more and more ridiculous, but these "style gurus" have to do SOMETHING to get paid, I guess.

I've already been irritated this morning by one of those ghastly buzzfeed type of things going "if you do these 10 decor things, it shows you are more than 15 years out of date". Who actually gives a flying fuck?! I have furniture that is older than my parents, I decorate once every 20 years (only if it needs it) and I don't give a shiny shit whether it's "fashionable" or not!!

It's just an excuse to make people waste more money on buying new stuff they don't need and getting rid of perfectly good older stuff "just because".

GRAAAAAHHH!

Oh we have three tables … certainly couldn’t Goldilocks the buggers in a U shape - there’d be nothing ‘ just right ‘ about their shambolic union. Also subscribe to the “ where there’s a train, there’s an impending claim “ school of thought.

I have a Lego Christmas train that goes around my tree & Lego Christmas Village on the floor around the tree.
I use white baseplates for the village.

But we're all Lego crazy in my house.

@TravisFountain

I also use toy trains snaking through the presents or travelling through the dining table. Both can be bought cheaply

Yup, the planet's fucked, children in factories are being exploited, but you enjoy your Late Victorian Plastic Era Xmas from the Range, hun.

Quite.

Loving the light-hearted comments on here though!

For a celebrity client one year, I put tall pine trees through the table – elevated on frosted poles. We put battery operated Swiss cable cars from a toy shop and strung them from one side of the table to the other, high above guests' heads. They travelled from one tree to the next. On the table top I made a snow scene with skiers and skaters (I placed small mirrors to resemble frozen ponds) amongst fake snow. It all looked so enchanting

Do they sell fake cable cars in B and M? I really want to recreate this at home!

'Stop touching the train, stop touching the train!STOP TOUCHING THE FUCKING TRAIN!!!'

For a month!

@Capferret

I don’t need fake snow my ddog’s long fur freely winds itself around chair legs when it’s not clogging up the vacuum cleaner.

This is my life!

I am glad you all enjoyed the article as much as I did.

Home Bargains has little jars of fake snow powder to whip up.
I will take pity on my chair legs though, and give it a miss.

On the other hand, has anyone spotted battery operated cable cars there or in B&M?

One of the nicest decorations I found a few years ago were the orange scensicles that you hang from the tree. They smelled so lovely. I got them quite cheap in Aldi but have only seen them on Amazon since.

@Capferret

One of the nicest decorations I found a few years ago were the orange scensicles that you hang from the tree. They smelled so lovely. I got them quite cheap in Aldi but have only seen them on Amazon since.

My garden centre sells these. I think the cinnamon ones smell like diarrhea.

@Pippi1970
@Capferret
B&Q have them as well the fir/pine ones are nice but I only use 3 or 4 at a time so it's not overwhelming.

Call me Grinch, but surely the presents (wrapped in festive wrap) under the decorated(Christmas- clue's in the name) tree are already reasonably festive without needing to add garlands? Maybe that's just me.

January prime time advertising slot: "Have you been injured in a toy train related Christmas incident that wasn't your fault?"

the chic modern host will opt for a fake tree, or even better a wooden one
Has anyone broken the news to him yet that trees are in fact made of wood? Dingbat.
So every year we supposed to do something different? I better tell nanna who's been using the same (now very threadbare) tree bought from woollies around 1952 with the decorations from the same era. So old in fact that if you look on the bottom of any of the wooden decs they have the original price tag in old money. Seriously some were 1d 4 which means 1 shilling and 4 pence. Also from woollies.