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Christmas

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Original poster

Staying with relatives - a survival child for those with small children.

26 replies

HeadHeartorHormones · 11/12/2007 15:22

Actually, I have nothing to contribute but that's the point. I'm hoping for some words from the wise as how to get through a Christmas visit to IL's without it all ending up in tears. It will probably be driving-drizzle for the whole stay. We can only take a few toys. My DSs are not the kind to sit down with a colouring book. No other children to play with.... I can think of many, many disadvantages - please help me with some practical suggestions to banish these thoughts of doom! (This is about being cooped up away from home with 1.5 yo and 3.5 yo - not an IL baiting thing).

OP posts:
soapbox · 11/12/2007 15:25

The world doesn't stop because it is raining!

Take waterproofs and wellies and get them out of the house - a couple of hours in the morning and an hour or so late afternoon, will make all the difference!

Research now where the parks/zoos/attractions are locally and plan some things to do.

MrsBadger · 11/12/2007 15:27

it's never too early for gin

Kathyate6mincepies · 11/12/2007 15:28

Can you get them to babysit one evening so you can get to go out? I find if I am full of gratitude and goodwill to MIL for enabling this it makes it easier to put up with other irritations.

LazyLinePainterJane · 11/12/2007 15:29

You have to get out! We have this issue when we stay at IL's because they have no toys and their house is not at all child friendly. They never put anything away and DS is the sort of toddler who likes to play with real things rather than toys, IYSWIM. There is nothing for it. Pack as many toys as you can squeeze in. Obviously, christmas day should be okay with the prezzies and fuss and whatnot, but you could always plan ahead with day trips for the rest of the visit, zoos, parks whathaveyou...

Original poster
HeadHeartorHormones · 11/12/2007 15:29

Really. 1.5 yo? mmmm.... I have some sloe gin which should be quite palatable with a bit of lemonade.
But what if he turns out to be a boistrous drunk rather than the fall asleep in a corner kind? What if the IL's tell social services?

OP posts:
Kathyate6mincepies · 11/12/2007 15:32

Get them to make up a basket of non breakable/non-dangerous kitchen equipment for your dc to play with.

MrsBadger · 11/12/2007 15:33

no no

gin is for mummy

Fennel · 11/12/2007 15:34

Go for as short a time as possible.

Take toys which work in different ways. We found playdoh and duplo good at this age. You can make different toys out of these basic items. and stacking cups which double as bath toys.

thank goodness my dds are now at the colouring book and reading stage. I used to find this really hard, staying in non-toddler-friendly households.

ChristmasSendsMePsycho · 11/12/2007 15:34

pmsl headheart!!....

now if i thought that I could and they would react in a wonderful sleepy way, all my DC's would be fed some on xmas eve

ChristmasSendsMePsycho · 11/12/2007 15:36

as for advice......take as much stuff to make them feel at home as well as plenty of wet weather gear too as someone else has said.....they can at least then go outside for a while to prevent the 'stir carzy' feelings!

Original poster
HeadHeartorHormones · 11/12/2007 15:40

. Really should proof-read my message headings before posting! Should of course be 'survival guide' not 'survival child' - some kind of freudian slip taking place.

Thanks for contributions - please keep them coming, useful stuff here!

OP posts:
Weegle · 11/12/2007 17:11

Pots and pans from their cupboards will serve nicely as toys.

Empty bottles etc for bath toys.

Rain gear and get out every day whatever the weather. Make sure one of the few toys you take is a ball.

Original poster
HeadHeartorHormones · 11/12/2007 20:03

Ok. So, am packing waterproofs, will research pools, parks, playbarns etc before I go. Will squash in a ball and fill any spare nook or cranny in the car with other toys. I like the idea of appropriating domestic items for toys (so thank you)- not least because it may be a gentle way of getting DILs to consider whether objects x,y,z in accessible cupboard are fun play things, precious objects or potential deathtraps. Am not really expecting them to toddler proof the house for a 5 day visit, but a slight change in mindset would be greatly appreciated.

Mrs Badger - there is definitely potential in your gin idea. I have now cracked open the aforementioned bottle of sloe and noticed that I failed to ffwd through Barney (the purple singing dinosaur) on the DS's christmas DVD. I am therefore hopeful that it may also render me impervious to all festive family frictions. Bottoms up!

OP posts:
Bink · 11/12/2007 20:16

This is a great thread concept! - and I really love the Freudian title.

My tips:

  • give some thought to sleeping arrangements. Are the children going to be sharing with you, or in their own room? How are they about strange beds - or are you taking a travel cot (or 2)? Take whatever you can which is specially comforting for sleeping: fluffy animal, blanket, own duvet even. If you usually use a monitor, take that too.
  • make sure you have what you want for breakfast, as the children will wake even earlier than they do at home, and you will want to feed them asap. Breakfast is the Crunch Time, in my experience, when staying with rellies. (This might even include adequately caffeinated coffee, for the grown-ups - PILs as they age seem to descend into a twilight world of decaf which is just not what you want to make do with at 5.30 am.)
  • have your own transport. This is Essential. When you go on all those outings (totally agree with all the posts below on that) see if an IL wants to come with you - can be surprisingly fun.

(I lived with my ILs for two months when ds was 2ish & dd was a few months, and it was fine, really nice, in fact, but the above are my lessons.)

iheartdusty · 12/12/2007 08:50

Bink,what an excellent post, especially about the coffee & breakfast.

ChirpyGrinch · 12/12/2007 09:04

Great thread!
I have a 1.10 and 2 month old and am off to my mums this weekend and IL's for christmas.
However, we have been told we can't go out to the park on Christmas Eve as everyone is coming to visit to meet DD2, so what the hell am I supposed ot do? DD1 will have spent all morning cooped up in the car and will be climbing the walls and DD2 is EBF and won't take a bottle!

Eliza2 · 12/12/2007 09:07

Take some DVDs or videos.

bozza · 12/12/2007 09:09

Could DD1 have a play in the garden just after you arrive? Or DH take her for a walk? How long a journey is it?

Kathyate6mincepies · 12/12/2007 09:22

Bink is so right about breakfast. After a bad night and esp if slightly hung over, facing the day without your breakfast inside you is, well, harder than doing it with what you normally have.
My dh is dead fussy about breakfast (he has to have cereal and lowfat yoghurt with fruit) so he takes his own.

Original poster
HeadHeartorHormones · 12/12/2007 09:38

Oh Bink, that's a good reminder - a house without caffeine, well it's just not a home is it? IL's always bring a jar of instant decaff when they visit us - so I guess some freshly ground and a cafetiere needs to be added to our list. They also have no drinking glasses that hold more than about 100mls. My parents (2 households) are just the same. What is it with older people and measly fluid intake? Bringing my own pint glasses may cause raised eyebrows though. (Unless of course I were to receive them as a Christmas present

OP posts:
Fennel · 12/12/2007 09:53

I always take a corkscrew to the teetotal inlaws. One chirstmas MIL proudly produced a lone bottle of wine and our spirits lifted but there wasn't a corkscrew in the house. And while I am perfectly capable of digging my way into any bottle of wine with a variety of implements I was reluctant to demonstrate this skill to the teetotal FIL. So we had to gaze longingly and soberly throughout Christmas day at the bottle.

sometimes I take a stash of wine too. but that brings its own problems.

mylittleponey · 12/12/2007 09:55

say you'll be up early and play outside if lots of noise. If not able to then just keep them busy

Bink · 12/12/2007 10:00

We take a cafetiere too!!! And I am empathising powerfully with the absent corkscrew ordeal.

By the way, I wanted to heavily emphasise, on the inviting an IL on your trips out - just ask one - on the divide & conquer rule.

DVDs a wise suggestion (and videos, as again in general hardware chez PILs tends not to be of the cuttingest edge).

Anna8888 · 12/12/2007 10:15

When I stay with my out-of-laws (which only ever happens in summer, thank goodness), I make sure we agree in advance that we will not be eating all meals together. I find that going out for a few meals without them provides a lot of relief .

dustyroad · 12/12/2007 10:44

Rota with DH for minding children. Decide it now and dont let him get away with falling asleep Xmas afternoon and reading paper all day Boxing Day.

DVDs and videos.

New toys (or put aside some old ones so they are "new" again in 2 weeks time). Take lego/duplo and train sets.

Get out for walk/exercise/trip at least once per day (gives the in-laws some space too)

Despite all the above be prepared for DS to pull curtain and curtain rod away from wall, break grandma's vase which she inherited from her grandma, somehow manage to turn on a tap which will not turn off again and so requires a plumber to be called on Xmas day, put a stack of wipes down the loo which block the drains on boxing day and knock a glass of red wine over on the cream dining room carpet. But hey that was two years ago and we are going back! (It has sort of gone down in history now and we can laugh )