feel guilty about our homemade presents

[knickerelasticjones]

ok knock some sense into me please!

Postie has just delivered a huge parcel from my DH's brother and his family. It's got individual presents for each of us (me, DH, 2DDs) all beautifully wrapped and probably very lovely. BIL and his family and v well off compared to us and tend to be very generous in the gift dept.

Well now I'm having a huge crisis of confidence about our 'homemade pressies for all the family' policy this year. DH has a large family tons of nephews and nieces so we decided to make homemade choccies / biccies for all. But are we just going to look like a real bunch of skinflints???

We are not impoverished but we aren't rolling in it either (currently £44 in the bank - I just checked)

so shall I plough on with the baking or do I have to drag my big butt to John Lewis and use my credit card for the first time in 3 years?

homemade biccies and choccies is fine - in fact you'll put far more effect into those as presents.

carry on with the home made pressies.

my best friend has a massive disposable income compared to me and DH and every year she spoils us all rotten, me, DH and 2 DC's.

One year we were really skint and I ended up having to talk to her as I was so embarrassed knowing we'd get mega pressies.

her reply .... I have it to spend, you don't, and I love doing it.

so now we get her and her DP a pressie each off the DC's and I've stopped trying to compete.

I would much rather someone made me a gift than got into debt buying me something. I really honestly would. Could you explain your situation to them?

Plough on, money is easy to spend, it doesn't mean you should though!

We always did them, even used potato stampers to make brown paper wrapping paper for the gifts, I think the joy and fun of making the gifts (for children and yourelf!)far outweighs the reaction of anyone who has more money than Christmas spirit IMO!

thanks all you are making me feel much better.

Bobsyouruncle (and funnily, I really DO have an uncle Bob, but anyway....) I think they already know we are not as well off as them. Reading my post again I have made it sound like we are on the bread line with the £44 thing. We're not THAT skint, I've just been rubbish with budgeting this month.

The real problem is that we have such a large extended family it would cost us hundreds to buy and send presents to them all. And as we have no idea what most of them want it just seems ridiculous to be buying things just for the sake of buying them.

But sending a box of biscuits seems a bit mean sometimes. Even though they are very yummy biscuits (sorry to boast!)

Wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same? And isn't gift giving a bit pointless if everyone tries to conform and you end up exchanging almost idential scented candles, choccies or whatever.

Sounds to me like their generosity in bought gifts is well matched by your generosity in time spent baking.

I'd love homemade goodies too!

We are making homemade cookies , chocolates and pepermint creams this year. We are even making the boxes to put them in(my desk is covered in prototypes LOL).
We will be giving FANTASTIC presents made with LOVE, and so will you.

A box of biscuits will be eaten and appreciated...

A bit of tat will be opened on the day and often pushed to the back of the cupboard...

I think homemade is lovely idea, don't think it should be a competition to see who can spend the most. Plough on with the baking

knickers - think homemade are by faaar the best pressies.if i had a wee bit more time i would do them, as it is everyone is getting just cheap and sometimes a but crappy presents! don't despair..

oh really don't worry about it at all, knickerelasticjones!
we're doing exactly the same this year and for the same reasons (although admitedly not the yummy biscuits...would you like to share the recipe though?! ).
It doesn't matter. What matters is making and giving something to someone and having a nice christmas.
Merry christmas!

we've done homemade biscuits and/or homemade jam for the last two years and the year before that we did pears in red wine, clementines in brandy and dundee cakes and everyone seemed happy. apart from my brother whom it turned out didn't like ginger biscuits or the blackcurrant jam I gave him and my sil! ungrateful sod : )

this year we have saved up our boots points and got 3 for 2 pressies on that as was feeling a bit guilty as everyone always gets us proper pressies, mainly cos with 2 children now we just don't have the time to make anything.

apart from the financial saving, I always felt that making something for someone was always much nicer than buying something just for the sake of it that they probably weren't that excited about.

no you fkn DON'T have to go into debt. PLEASE don't.

I would love it if someone took the time to make us homemade gifts.

I also am getting a little grumpy at the thought of accomodating all the pound shop tat that the dc will no doubt bring home pretty soon. I, and I suspect they, would FAR rather someone gave us some biscuits or something.

I love homemade pressies, especially ones you can eat! Don't be embarrassed! They'll probably go down a treat.

Only read OP but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get homemade biscuits rather than something I might not even like. Do not use your credit card. It is fab you haven't needed to for three years. Stick to your budget and homemade gift ideas. I think it is totally lovely and shows more time and effort and thoght than hitting JL

I'm just going to repeat what everyone else has already said...home-made stuff is lovely, and generally so much nicer and more appreciated than yet more scented candles, bath salts, random tat from the shops. I've been making jam, marmalade, chutney and biscuits for almost everyone for the last couple of years and have been amazed by how appreciative everyone is....must more than if I'd spent less time and more money on them! This year I can't decide if I'm more proud of my 'home grown green tomato chutney' (made with the 3kg remainder of fruit still unripe when I cleared my plants at the end of October) or the 'blackberry jam' for which all the fruit was hand picked by ds and our amazing nanny!! DS has been loving making the biscuits with me and feels much more involved in the whole present giving process than if we'd just trekked around the shops for an afternoon. And its pretty much guaranteed that none of your gifts will be languishing in the back of the cupboard or up for grabs on freecycle/ebay come Dec 27th, because everyone will be tucking in and enjoying them . Anyway, since when was it all about how much money you spend rather than the effort, time and care you put in?

For years my sister was stuggling financially (we didn't know it at the time, but her partner was drinking all her money). I always tried to spoil her at Christmas and Birthdays, as I felt she needed it. She bought us small, but thoughtful gifts and I was always pleased to have them and never thought about the fact that she spent less than we did.

Now her circumstances are different and she spoils my DC's rotten. I'm sure your BIL and his family are just doing something nice for you.

and they'll be delighted with the effort that's gone into your presents.

Here is link Baskets to have a look at, they are people's homemade baksets/hampers and they are lovely and surprisingly reasonable, (some great ideas like movie night in) not many show baking but I know people do them with jam etc. Just goes to show how a little bit of hard work pays off. I think I will try next year instead of my Boots baskets. Also I would be very happy to get any of those shown as a present as they show how much thought you gave the present

Home made pressies is lovely.
I'd much rather them than some overpackaged crap.
Absolutely no shame in it either.
My sister sent us some home made Christmas tree baubles (done by her sons) before jetting off to Korea.....business class!

We were all very happy with that.

I would LOVE home-made, clutter-free presents!! Dp's family always buy us far too much stuff, they're lovely but I feel they go over the top, especially as we are trying to declutter the house .... you really cannot go wrong with home-made goodies, and people really appreciate the thought put into them. Well done, I wish I had the time / organisation / ability to do such a thing!!

Yes indeed.Having the time,energy and patience ot do this with small children expresses love and affection far more eloquently than trudging around shops like a drone.

now listen here knickerelastic - you've nothing to feel embarrassed about - I often make homemade presents (have made little tree decs this year for some people) and people really do like them - it's much more personal.

I'm giving homemade tree decorations as well to my mother and mil, from my children.

What a lovely idea to make homemade pressies it will show that youve put time and thought into your gifts.
Like others have said anyone can go out and throw a tenner at a pile of plastic crap, but what youre doing takes real commitment and thought ..... well done you wish you were my relly