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Christmas

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Original poster

How much do you spend on adults?

70 replies

Henrywilldoit · 20/10/2021 19:46

If you buy for the adults in your family/extended family. What's your budget per person? How many adults do you buy for?

Or do you have a rule of not buying for adults?

I'm just interested to know what other people do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Henrywilldoit · 20/10/2021 19:53

Should have said that there are 12 adults in our family including dh and I and there is an expectation that we all buy for each other.

It's getting weary, dh and I cannot afford it, and none of us actually need anything. But I suspect that the other adults don't want to stop or cut back. One in particular asks every year for items twice our budget and we then have to have the embarrassing conversation that we aren't spending that much.

OP posts:
MazzleDazzle · 20/10/2021 19:59

In your situation, how about everyone chips on X amount and each person gets one large gift? That way it would save everyone money, but rather than get lots of smaller gifts they get something more substantial. Like a secret Santa type thing? Maybe each adult could also write a wish list to make sure they got something nice?

We don’t really do adult gifts in our family, but my sister and I always buy each other something special.

MazzleDazzle · 20/10/2021 19:59

chips IN

Darceyhemingway · 20/10/2021 20:00

If there's 12 of you id deff suggest secret Santa. More than likely everyone's feeling the same as you, not to mention thinking of 12 different presents!

Original poster
Henrywilldoit · 20/10/2021 20:07

Thanks. It's a bit more complicated because dhs sibling is married to someone who doesn't actually have any siblings.

My sibling is also married to someone with no extended family, so it's only dh and I that are buying for 12 adults. Everyone else is only buying for 4 or 5.

OP posts:
Original poster
Henrywilldoit · 20/10/2021 20:08

There's also an expectation of buying for adult nieces and nephews that don't so much as send us a Merry Christmas text.

OP posts:
Squirrelblanket · 20/10/2021 20:08

Outside of my mum and husband, I spend £20 max per adult but try get it under this. I only buy for 4 adults (outside mum and husband) though. My husband buys for the adults in his family.

In your position I would be either looking to do a secret Santa, buying small token gifts or just agreeing with some of them not to bother.

TumtumTree · 20/10/2021 20:09

Adults we're not seeing on Xmas day or Boxing day - nothing.

Adults who will be there - would expect to spend around £10-20 per person.

Squirrelblanket · 20/10/2021 20:11

We have adult nephews on my husband's side. I've managed to convince him to stop buying for them now. I think it can be difficult to know when to stop but I pointed out to him that they are all in their 20s now, in their own houses and with good jobs and they still never even send a card. He just buys them a pint when he sees them now!

dementedma · 20/10/2021 20:13

Adult nieces and nephews, nothing. My siblings(4) about £20 each. Other adult friends usually a bottle of wine, nice biscuits etc.

Original poster
Henrywilldoit · 20/10/2021 20:14

Yes it is difficult to know when to stop,

The more people I speak to the more I think we are going to have to seriously cut back. As things are we are spending between £30-£50 per adult and that not including children in the family, or own dc and each other.

We just cannot afford it.

OP posts:
MazzleDazzle · 20/10/2021 20:16

I started winding down individual gifts by sending a generic mini-hamper type thing to the whole household - a couple of bottles of wine, biscuits, scented candle etc.

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/10/2021 20:19

Other than our kids/grandchild, who we spend much more on: £100 ish each on each other, £100 ish each on parents, £25 each on multiple nieces/nephews. Nothing on siblings/siblings in law, we just exchange cards.

Squirrelblanket · 20/10/2021 20:19

I would just stop buying for the nieces and nephews if they don't buy for you anyway. They would have to be CF to complain about this.

And if you really feel you can't put a stop to the others, a token present such as a bottle of wine or similar. If anything is said, explain you're cutting back and that's how it'll be going forward.

Lovemusic33 · 20/10/2021 20:19

I only buy for my parents, don’t bother with siblings, we just buy for each other’s dc, adults don’t need gifts.

LittleLego · 20/10/2021 20:23

As a general rule we buy for the adults without children who buy for our children, if that makes sense. Plus our DParents.

Squirrelblanket · 20/10/2021 20:24

No one 'needs' gifts. 🤷🏻‍♀️

merryhouse · 20/10/2021 20:26

It used to be about £20 I think. The last few years before lockdown it was slightly less.

My sister contacted me when S1 was 19 to say she wasn't going to buy for adult niblings. She was also the one who years before decided not to buy them birthday presents so that she could concentrate the budget on Christmas. In each case she just made her decision and communicated it.

You need to be certain of what you're doing. Decide your budget. If someone suggests something outside that budget you don't have to go with it.

YoungGiftedPlump · 20/10/2021 20:30

Nothing

My sisters birthday is Christmas Day and she is here then she gets a gift.

Everyone staying the night gets a stocking

My adult children dont buy us gifts.We give them cash.

73kittycat73 · 20/10/2021 20:35

Around £30.00 each for my brothers, £100.00 main gifts for mum and £25.00 for stocking.

1stTimeMama · 21/10/2021 00:34

I only buy for 3 adults, who are my parents and husband, and 5 children, who are all my own. And that's it. Despite 20 odd years of me buying for nieces and nephews, my sister decided after I'd had my 3rd that she wasn't going to bother with anymore, and just stopped, didn't tell me why. My brother announced a few years ago that they were stopping too. Even token gifts for the children is apparently too much. We get nothing from my husband's side either.

1stTimeMama · 21/10/2021 00:35

Oh. I forgot the budgets! My husband is usually around £100/150, parents £50ish, it depends what everyone wants really.

Buffoonborisisatwat · 21/10/2021 00:42

I'd be doing some serious recycling, so anything received from DH family is regifted to your family and vice versa. And just keep rotating but don't forget to keep a notebook/records.

Re the nephews and nieces, £10 gift voucher max, reducing to £5 if no acknowledgement received, following year reducing to zero if still no acknowledgement received 😊

goose1964 · 21/10/2021 01:28

We budget £50 for our 3 children and partners so 5 people in total parents and my sister normally get about £20 each.

YoungGiftedPlump · 21/10/2021 01:31

@Buffoonborisisatwat

I'd be doing some serious recycling, so anything received from DH family is regifted to your family and vice versa. And just keep rotating but don't forget to keep a notebook/records.

Re the nephews and nieces, £10 gift voucher max, reducing to £5 if no acknowledgement received, following year reducing to zero if still no acknowledgement received 😊

Why recycle crap? Just agree no gifts?