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Original poster

No Gift Christmas Day

70 replies

ChristmasSnow21 · 13/10/2021 18:01

For the first year ever I’m contemplating a no gift Christmas Day.

Anyone who’s done this or thought of doing this wiling to share with me how their day was without the interspersal of gifts.

Reason for no gifts is children are now adults, but no partners / children of their own, and we are going away for twixmas so that is their gift which they are happy about and want to do.

Just I’m thinking how do I make Christmas just us immediate family with no gifts to open.

OP posts:
Mrbay · 14/10/2021 06:45

Well you have got them a gift, a trip away plus some spending money.

My parents haven't brought me a physical gift in years and the last one was about 8 years ago (a carpet for the front room!).

With my inlaws we all go for dinner together and use what we would have spent in gifts, to pay for it. Which we all love as we get quality time together.

If your children aren't materialist (which from your posts it doesn't seem that they are) they will be absolutely fine and understand that their gift is at a later date.

Thirtyrock39 · 14/10/2021 06:51

I like the principle and as an adult find receiving and opening Christmas presents very awkward and often it's something I don't need or want ! We have done the £10 limit but is very token when spending this amount and generally ends up again being pointless spending . The best we did as a family for adults was a £50 secret Santa as usually buy x 5 people in our family so it was just one big decent gift (we asked for ideas as well).

AmanitaRubescens · 14/10/2021 06:52

We play board games, go to the park or a forest walk with a flask of hot chocolate, snuggle up in front of the fire with movies and old home movies from my kids childhood and mine

How is that Christmas? Unless you're genuinely broke that sounds grim.

I hate Secret Santa and stocking, they're just landfill. In OP's situation I'd give one beautifully wrapped gift that I knew the recipient would love.

Changednamehere56 · 14/10/2021 06:53

I'm not clear from your OP why you want not to have gifts?

AmanitaRubescens · 14/10/2021 07:05

@Changednamehere56

I'm not clear from your OP why you want not to have gifts?
She's paying for them to go on holiday and she's giving them shopping money to spend whilst on holiday.
loudbatperson · 14/10/2021 07:08

@Changednamehere56

I'm not clear from your OP why you want not to have gifts?
They are getting gifts, a holiday and spending money. Just not actual "stuff" to open on the day.

For me that sounds fine. What's the point of buying stuff just to have things to open.

If they were still children I could see why you would want there to be something open, but they're adults now so not a worry.

Gifts are only one, small part of the day for our family. The best enjoyment and festiveness comes from all having the time to just be together and relax, eat good food and enjoy each others company without the usual day to day demands on us.

SmileyClare · 14/10/2021 07:18

Presumably your adult children will be buying you gifts?

Your gift is their holiday and spending money. They ought to be buying you a present.
Perhaps wrap up a token gift (chocolates, a book or something) for them so that there is an exchange of gifts.

I don't see why it's a problem. My kids are teens and twenties and usually want money for clothes, towards a car or whatever. We haven't done a pile of presents for a few years. The oldest are working so buy us presents to open.
It's quite normal with adult children to do this.

toolazytothinkofausername · 14/10/2021 07:28

Secret Santa portrait challenge.

The worst the drawing, the better Grin

junebirthdaygirl · 14/10/2021 07:39

Now dc are grown we do Secret Santa and the limit is 50. Everyone is much happier as a lot of thought goes into that one present. My dc suggested it first as none are materialistic and all hate waste. Its really lovely. Everything else is still the same at Christmas just far less stuff.
I would do a secret Santa with a 20 budget maybe and genuinely no one knowing who has who. We use an app for this

Redwinestillfine · 14/10/2021 07:42

So there's no gifts from anyone else? Even if DH and I didn't get the kids gifts the tree would still have loads under it from family and their friends etc. Stockings nis a good idea.

Changednamehere56 · 14/10/2021 07:44

Thank you. Yes but I didn't understand why that means no one else has gifts.

GoWalkabout · 14/10/2021 07:48

I assume that you might have the odd gift from dc and other people to make the tree look less bare? I think I am in the 'move away from buying for the sake of it' camp. But just tell others that your presents are the money and trip, and don't dictate what they give? I did small stockings the year we went away for Christmas but it was a bit 'for the sake of it'.

GoWalkabout · 14/10/2021 07:50

And I think credit card debt, waste and consumerism are far more joyless.

SaltySheepdog · 14/10/2021 07:54

I think I’d jokingly have to buy everyone socks

PurBal · 14/10/2021 07:55

I think it sounds like a great idea. You can still have crackers and watch Christmas films, the Queens speech and go to church (if that’s your thing) and hike. Make it about quality time together. I never know how to fit presents in without rushing everything else.

Youcancallmeval · 14/10/2021 07:58

I struggle a bit with Christmas. I don't consider myself Christian or pagan, so spending weeks and £££ preparing for a festival I do not 'celebrate' seems increasingly wrong. Having said that, unless you cancel Christmas altogether, I think a couple of little somethings would be good.

StCharlotte · 14/10/2021 07:58

@toolazytothinkofausername

Secret Santa portrait challenge.

The worst the drawing, the better Grin

I'm stealing this!
PlinkPlankPlunk · 14/10/2021 08:16

Won't they buy each other presents - and perhaps have some from friends, partners etc? So it’s really just your gift, which is fine, as they know about it in advance.

PlinkPlankPlunk · 14/10/2021 08:18

@AmanitaRubescens

We play board games, go to the park or a forest walk with a flask of hot chocolate, snuggle up in front of the fire with movies and old home movies from my kids childhood and mine

How is that Christmas? Unless you're genuinely broke that sounds grim.

I hate Secret Santa and stocking, they're just landfill. In OP's situation I'd give one beautifully wrapped gift that I knew the recipient would love.

To be fair, the poster said they don’t have many days like that, so it is obviously special to them
bytheby · 14/10/2021 08:19

We do charity shop gifts. Good for the environment and I've received some true treasures and some hilarious tat! Anything we don't want goes back to the charity shop!

LindaEllen · 14/10/2021 08:24

@Mammyloveswine

I personally think it's a bit miserable...but each ti their own!!
Haha I thought that too. One of the things I like the best about Christmas is at the end of the day, snuggling down in my new PJs with some gifted wine and chocs and watching Christmas TV!
Sweetener12 · 14/10/2021 09:30

I agree about smaller token gifts or at least video greeting cards or handmade ones to acknowledge the day. You don't have to but it would be nice even for the adult children. A no gift Xmas is kinda joyless Sad

Bananarama21 · 14/10/2021 09:35

Robin233

Once our children became adults it was a limit of £10.00 each
Bit tight to only spend 10 quid can't get alot with that, surely they are still your children regardless if their adults. We all get 50 quid off parents and its a nice treat as I don't tend to treat myself. I'd get a couple of wrap ups that's the most exciting thing about Christmas is getting presents.

SmileyClare · 14/10/2021 10:28

I would have thought your adult children will buy each other something and a present for their parents? They'll have presents from friends, colleagues, you and your husband can exchange gifts?

It's rather dramatic to call it a "No gift Christmas"!

If my adult children wanted a holiday and cash for Christmas and then declared the day "grim" and miserable because they didn't have a pile under the tree I'd be really pissed off. How ungrateful!

The joy of having adult children is that the whole day no longer falls on you to facilitate. They can pitch in to make it enjoyable and festive and put some thought into it themselves.

Classica · 14/10/2021 10:32

I come from a big family and my parents and siblings and I do a £150 Secret Santa. Means everyone gets one great present, no landfill.