Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I’ve been to Wilko and picked up my first item for the Christmas treats stash - Anthon Berg liquor chocolates.🎄🎄Didn’t go for the cake in the tin in the end because we always have pandoro instead of pannetone, but the tins are lovely and would be great for storing small decorations/ornaments after Christmas.

I picked up two packets of the paperwhite bulbs but grabbed them quickly (last two packets!) so forgot to check and a couple of the bulbs are starting to sprout... @Trumpton do you know if they’ll be okay if I keep them cold? I’ve put them out in the shed.

I’m considering watching the Bishop’s Wife today to get me properly into the poncing mood...

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule The Bishop's Wife is my favourite Christmas film. I may very well join you and watch it this afternoon. I'm knitting a Christmas present for a craft group I go to and fancy something familiar and Christmas themed in the background.

DH is at a family funeral next week so I'll bake my cake while he's out and I'll probably make my puddings too although it's a few weeks to Stir Up Sunday.

Does anyone have the link for the Christmas bargain hunting thread? I can't find it anywhere....thanks

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/Christmas/4361653-thread-9-the-one-with-the-stollen-bike

Is this it @fedupandfiredup

@OnTheHillNotOverIt

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/Christmas/4361653-thread-9-the-one-with-the-stollen-bike

Is this it @fedupandfiredup

It is!!

Thank you so much

Hello! Love this thread every year. Although I’m not particularly crafty and tend to buy in a lot of my ponce! I love xmas and decorating and do something different every year from the huge selection of decorations I have collected over the years.

We moved house in November last year and although we did decorate it all felt a bit lacking. We have a huge inglenook fireplace in the living room that is way too big for the room and doesn’t have a mantle really just a big lump of wood. So my task might be to try to sort that out somehow.

We have lots of holly in the garden and other greenery so I will try to do something with that.

Food wise I’m planning on Delia’s Creole cake for the first time. And I might try the marmalade gin.

I have my Christmas Chronicles ready to go for the read along. And ordered my turkey and ham this morning and the nice Ocado man delivered Baileys, Advocat and a box of Celebrations.

Need to buy a Christmas magazine to get in the mood. And am planning a Costco trip and a John Lewis trip with DH in the next week or so for other stuff but will obviously be keeping an eye out for some Xmas bits.

[quote 2018SoFarSoGreat]@NigelSlatersXmasTaters bathroom is my favorite to do! White flowers in crystal or glass vase (with fresh cranberries for maximum effect), lots of white candles and white lights strung along the mirror and shower curtain rail, if you have one. One biggish Santa or Snowman or whatever is also white and sparkly and will look amazing in candlelight as well. [/quote]
I love your lights. Are they individual or a string? Also how does it work with the shower curtain? Sorry having a senior moment 🙈

@Sn0tnose

Well, I've been for a walk in the woods and collected a huge branch with suitable little branches coming off it! Lugging it back to the car was no joke. It's now drying in the kitchen. Have I scavenged it too soon? How long should I dry it out before spray painting it?

Have you got a dehumidifier you could use? If not, I definitely don’t think you’ve done it too early. What colour are you spraying it?

Well, we don't have a dehumidifier but perhaps I've described this badly - I found the branches already on the ground so they are quite brittle already. Have decided they need to go in the garage to dry out.

I'm thinking of spraying them either white or gold, then wire LED warm white fairy lights on them, and a few nice baubles!

Is there a link to the embosser of loveliness? I've tried googling to no avail

@TheWoollybacksWife I’m watching it now

Me too carriemac I then got lost in a bit of a cake decorating wormhole. My credit card barely made it out alive!

Can I just say thank you to whoever it was who said they were going to make Nigella's chilli jam? I've never made jam in my life but had a go at this recipe today and it's so easy! Just waiting for it to cool then I'll put it in jars. I'm going to make another batch then I'll have plenty to gift.

@OldTinHat

Did you use jam sugar for the chilli jam? I've loads of chillies but could't find the jam sugar. Wondered whether to hold out for the sugar or just for it

Asda have jam sugar, I'd be surprised if other big supermarkets don't! But also home Bargains sometimes stocks it too.

Glad you enjoyed making it! I'm doing mine soon. Testing the nigella gingerbread stuffing tomorrow.

@Floopsy Yes, I used jam sugar. Asda was sold out but Morrisons had one solitary bag at the back of the top shelf. I had to get a store assistant to get some steps and reach it for me! Asda did say a lot of people are asking for it so I guess it's jam making season. Worth checking out local supermarkets as you go past?

@Nigel Gingerbread stuffing??! Oooh...heads off to google again.

I also like the look of the Sainsbury's sausage roll wreath, thank you to the poster of that too.

@Grrrpredictivetex the lights are two strings of battery operated stars. I've used them in windows, on stairs and and now bathroom.

I sling them over the rod, pull to different heights (wind a time or two to shorten) and that's it. Push them all along to the other side to use the shower.

Cake made and baked.
The DGC always help me make it and have a stir and a wish while they wear their Father Christmas hats and then , as if by magic…
DD2 appeared and DS1 and , of course DD1 ( the mother of the children ) was here then SIL ( the father) arrived.
So we all 9 of us had a stir and wish!
Made me all teary and very thankful.
It’s been a hard couple of years health wise for me and to have them all here was wonderful.
But it was nice when they went !

@Floopsy, this chilli jam uses granulated sugar.

Someone mentioned a rosemary wreath earlier and just wanted to mention what I have been doing a few years now.

I bought a relatively sparse looking artificial wreath, completely plain just the fake fir stuff.
Wrapped with some battery fairy lights (buy the ones on a timer, as makes it much easier not having to put them on and off each night). Wired on a few foraged pine cones.
Then each year I cut a selection of herbs from the garden, lots of Rosemary but also Bay, Sage, Eucalyptus. We also have holly and just any nice looking foliage.Thread it through the artificial bits until they are barely visible.

Other than the initial investment, it's free each year and current base has laster since 2012.

I've found this better than using oasis, and less gappy than starting from complete scratch. Always get lots of compliments as all looks fresh. Some years I've misted the foliage with gold or some snow spray too. You can also add dried orange, cinnamon, all the usual adornments.

Also, I've been thinking on this for a while and I've decided I'm going to try brining my turkey.

First timer so all and any advice welcome. To quote another poster, please speak to me like a small child. I do have Nigella's book and I know I'm in the market for a large lidded bucket but otherwise complete novice.

We hated it when we tried it a few years ago. Never again!

But some people swear by it...

That's a great idea Rudy, re: wreath. We have plenty of rosemary but I'm always on the hunt for eucalyptus - must plant some in the garden of course! Bit late for this year but of course the long game is key to poncetastic Christmas.

Luckily we did a trial run in November, so Christmas dinner wasn’t actually ruined. We’re both very competent cooks so we’re quite confident it wasn’t a methodology problem. But it was just nasty...we still talk about it in hushed tones...‘remember the year we tried brining the turkey’.

@RubyFakeLips I bought a fake twig wreath from Wilkos and I plan on poncing it up spectacularly this year ( if I can hang it on the front door before DH catches me , as we’ve had the doors and windows replaced this year at considerable expense )
As an aside …. A glass of Rosé in this family is known as poncey pink ..
💗