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Original poster

Is it mad to give 3 year old the 'big' present now?

42 replies

OchNoAgain · 26/08/2021 12:07

Was planning to get 3yo DD a toniebox for Christmas - with some figures it's £100 on sale at the moment so would be a big present for her, with some smaller cheaper presents to go along with it.

The trouble is massively playing up at bedtime at the moment and is desperate to listen to a story at bedtime like her big brother does. He has a CD player and loads of CDs and listens to one each night in bed. I was thinking she could listen to one Tonie character at night before falling asleep and I'm hoping it might improve bedtime.

Is it mad to just do this and then she'd only have the smaller gifts on Christmas morning? Obviously she has no idea what things cost and will be delighted with a plastic Frozen hairband and some playdough tubs...

It feels wrong and indulgent somehow!

OP posts:
Original poster
OchNoAgain · 26/08/2021 12:09

The trouble is massively playing up at bedtime at the moment

My phone has apparently renamed DD 'the trouble' which seems about right Grin

OP posts:
BlackShadowCat · 26/08/2021 12:11

I think it’s fine. She will still have presents to open on the day and the excitement of Christmas

PleasantBirthday · 26/08/2021 12:12

I'd give it to him. Get a few more months use out of it before he grows to old for it. What's the point in waiting if he's at the stage to use it now?

PleasantBirthday · 26/08/2021 12:12

Sorry, her.

randomusernameagain · 26/08/2021 12:12

I think it's fine, especially as you know they're ready to use it a lot now. There are also good audiobooks on YouTube/Spotify if you wanted to hold off but replicate the experience?

Original poster
OchNoAgain · 26/08/2021 12:15

Ok thanks all. I know you're right, just need to get my head around buying her something quite expensive because she'd like it, rather than 'an occasion' if that makes sense.

OP posts:
GiantKitten · 26/08/2021 12:16

I did this with (admittedly smaller) presents for my DGD’s 2nd birthday - when you know it’s something they’ll enjoy and love RIGHT NOW it seems mad and sad to wait, and of course they have no idea of relative values.
Do it Smile

Twilightstarbright · 26/08/2021 12:16

You could always as family and friends to get more figures for her present? My 4yo uses his tonie every day.

randomusernameagain · 26/08/2021 12:16

Just think you're buying her something she needs and would genuinely use so there is a reason, sometimes Christmas gifts can be 'just because' for the sake of a present?

ChateauMargaux · 26/08/2021 12:22

No way.... you are failing into the trap of buying early and you risk then buying twice. You will feel guilty and flinch at the last moment. Your older child will notice she only has a fee pots of play dough. There are other ways of listening to a story.. audible app for example. Or she can listen with her brother, or he can listen with her.

ChateauMargaux · 26/08/2021 12:23

.. falling not failing. few not fee.. sorry for typos

BunnyBerries · 26/08/2021 12:32

If you're waiting until Christmas definitely get a Yoto. By the time they're 5 a Tonie will likely be so babyish. We've had a Yoto since 4 and it has helped reading too, as they read the cards!

Alarae · 26/08/2021 12:39

If you don't want a bundle, you can get 15% off Tonie using PRINCESS15 which popped up on my Facebook as an ad (probabaly because I've been looking at them!)

Think it works out the same price to buy three figures and the toniebox, but this way you get to choose the specific 3 figures you want!

Jujujuly · 27/08/2021 22:56

We’re in a similar position and going to wait til Christmas. Using an old phone with audible and YouTube for now. DD will be 3.5 at Christmas and we’re going for a yoto as it seems to do way more.

mam0918 · 28/08/2021 09:15

I feel like I have fallen into a world of madness, you do know you can just sit and read to your kids right?

its completely free

I didnt even know these existed but it seems so sad to me, bedtime stories are such a bonding time between kids and parents (especially woking parents or school aged kids that dont get to spend all day together) and a keystone in developing a love of books so that passing it off to a machine is a really sad state of the world right now.

I always wondered what people are on about when they say christmas is about the 'gift of time' not presents but if parents no longer take the time to read to and tuck their kids into bed then Im starting to see what they mean.

Your attention shouldnt be a 'gift' and neither should something that replaces it.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/08/2021 09:28

When you say she's desperate to listen to a story at bedtime like her brother does - I'm guessing this is in addition to you reading a bedtime story to them? Can you not just read her an extra story or something?

SalmonEile · 28/08/2021 09:33

Will your son notice that your DD is getting a “big” present now?
Does he believe in Santa and would the Tonie box have been from Santa or you?

whosaidtha · 28/08/2021 09:44

You can give it now but it won't be a Christmas present. She won't understand that she got her present early and will be little comfort on Christmas morning. You will probably end up buying more for her because you feel guilty she didn't get as much to open on the day. Plus I think it won't seem as special.

whosaidtha · 28/08/2021 09:45

It's also still august. Might be different if you were asking in November. But august!!!

IWantT0BreakFree · 28/08/2021 09:51

You can of course give it to her whenever you like but it isn’t a Christmas present if you give it now. She just isn’t of an age to understand money or that the thing you gave her in August (which is something like 1/6 of her lifetime ago by then) counts towards her presents on the big day. So it depends whether you feel happy with the Christmas gifts she will receive if you remove this one, and whether you feel the potential benefit of her having it now is worth it.

Maybe a compromise would be a cheap CD player for now (try a charity shop) and borrowing a CD from her brother?

GreyhoundG1rl · 28/08/2021 09:53

I'd do it. But don't tell her it's a Christmas present, that wouldn't be fair.

SmileyClare · 28/08/2021 10:04

@mam0918

I feel like I have fallen into a world of madness, you do know you can just sit and read to your kids right?

its completely free

I didnt even know these existed but it seems so sad to me, bedtime stories are such a bonding time between kids and parents (especially woking parents or school aged kids that dont get to spend all day together) and a keystone in developing a love of books so that passing it off to a machine is a really sad state of the world right now.

I always wondered what people are on about when they say christmas is about the 'gift of time' not presents but if parents no longer take the time to read to and tuck their kids into bed then Im starting to see what they mean.

Your attention shouldnt be a 'gift' and neither should something that replaces it.

Sorry Op but I agree with this.

Also if she's playing up at bedtime that shouldn't be rewarded with a big present. There's no guarantee that this thing will resolve the issues around bedtime.
Her brother will notice won't be? That seems unfair even if you don't give her many presents at Christmas.

You could easily find a way to play pre recorded stories or audio books to her for free for now, or try other ways of tackling her behaviour at bedtime.

In summary, I understand its tempting but I wouldn't Smile

Jujujuly · 28/08/2021 10:07

@mam0918 I don’t know about the OP but when we get our DD a yoto player it is in no way to replace bedtime stories. I read to her for 30mins before bed, then we put an audiobook on to help her fall asleep. She’s only 3 and can actually read fluently already but was starting to stay up late with the light on reading so the audiobooks are a compromise that gets her more sleep. I had a fisher price cassette player as a kid that did the same job and read English at Cambridge so it didn’t do me any harm.

Floralnomad · 28/08/2021 10:12

I must live in a parallel universe to all the people saying ‘her brother will notice ‘ , who cares , do people seriously always treat their children exactly the same ? If you want to buy it now , then get it but don’t call it a Christmas present as that’s ridiculous , but if at Christmas you spend less on her than on her brother it really doesn’t matter as over the years it eventually evens out .

IWantT0BreakFree · 28/08/2021 10:15

Ooh I see the judgey pants are being hoiked up 🙄

OP presumably still reads to her children. It's not "passing it off to a machine". DD6 has a Tonie box and it's great. We read every night (and usually several times during the day too as she's a proper bookworm) but the Tonie is nice for some quiet lullabies or a story if she's still struggling to nod off after we've spent a while reading and doing usual bedtime cuddles etc. I still lie with her while she falls asleep (I'm sure that's an MN cardinal sin too) so there's absolutely no sense of anything being "passed off to a machine".

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