what's the most useless xmas pressie you ever received.

[nametaken]

I once got a tube of Lush bath bombs when I lived in a flat that didn't have a bath - only a shower. And the person who brought me the present knew this as she lived in the flat before I did.

broguemum - DH says you should get out last year's teatowel, wrap it up and give it back to them for this year!

An egg seperator and cheese knife.

At the time I was vegan, and had been for a couple of years.

Ooooooh but you never know when you might need to grab that extra tea towel....when the kids vomit, when the washing machine leaks, when you need to swat a fly........obviously placed directly into a hot wash afterwards!!!!

PandaG - forgot to mention that DH got the same design of tea towel from them for his birthday one year...

From DH,2 Christmases ago- a skirt in size 12,when I have always been an 8.A hat that wouldn't stay on & a belt that was too wide & cut into my ribs as I'm short waisted.

And I buy him things like a weekend in Rome.[hmmm]

MIL once bought me a dreadful,cheap looking fake oil lamp.It had a big lump of some waxy substance inside & a bouquet of flowers painted on the bowl.You'd have to look quite hard to find something as tacky as that.

broguemum, I think I am heading down the same path, my delightful MIL got me...

in 2004...recipe book for juices , with a promise of an actual juicer in the sales...

in 2005...different juice recipe book, with a
promise of an actual juicer in the sales...

in 2006...ditto

I sent the juicer books to school jumble sale last term.
Can't wait for my new book next month...

I had a breadmaker.... not bad you may think but dh is a baker!! Whats worse it came from mil

A giant wooden salad bowl, complete with a tripod to stand it on and salad servers so big and heavy that you needed two hands to lift one of them.

A pair of bright red wooly tights and matching thermal knickers (yes really!), when I was a 15 year old fashion victim

Ahem! Can there be two fairies on top of the tree?

Oh dear!

How about you sit on my knee?

Or we could have a big hug

Back to back?

who retains that sort of information??

My in-laws got DH an x-box the first year we were together - and me... an x-box remote control. I remember crying as they had obviously meant it for him but in the light of some of the weird pressies here I don't feel so hard done by now.

A pineapple corer

And a coconut

both from dh's confused granny.... she was under the impression that the coconut was a pineapple. Poor love.

some funny things on here

my mum got a selection of the free cds/dvds that were given away in the newspapers during that year from her sister. she also gave my sister one of those childrens bags that look like a teddy bears head with one odd earing in, my sister was about 18 at the time!

Car polishing kit from DH. I sent it to the hospice raffle.

The Ali G Annual - joint present for my dh & me!

And I once got a pair of pyjamas from MiL. Top was a size 6 and bottoms were a size 18.

I am size 10 to 12.

a digital watch. bought for me by my auntie who genuinely believed that she had healing powers and would be able to restore my sight one day! .

also my granny on my mum's side bought me a battery operated parrot that repeated everything you said in a voice sounding not dissimilar to that of one of the smurfs. . I was about 22. . But then she used to sit in front of the shopping channels all day every day - her cupboards were full of untold tat .

DH gave me some tartan pyjamas and matching hot water bottle the 2nd xmas we were together when we were still loves young dream....

My Mum gives me clothes that are just nmsaa.

THe worst present i've been given is a bottle of oil with a flower in it that was a) ugly and b) useless as the oil was not nice oil but just a load of shit.

A key board hoover that plugs into the USB port.