So, who will be lying to their children about a fat man clad in red who'll visit them in the night on Christmas Eve'?

[Spidermama]

I wanted to be the first to raise this annual thorn-fest.
Last year my then 6 year old ds, who's very sciency, had a bit of a wobbly and confessed the whole idea terrified him. He asked us to clarify the stranger-comes-in-on-flying-reindeer situation once and for all so we came clean.

His older sister, on the other hand, still enjoys the idea. She's nine and I'm not quite sure if she's suspending her disbelief or if she really believes.

They have two younger brothers and so there are many levels of understanding and belief.

I'm always in turmoil about this subject. I don't have a clear view about how to play it.
Do you?

Yes I lie.

DS is now 8 and has his doubts. He said daringly in M&S the other day "I don't believe in Father Christmas".

To which another shopper turned round and said "he won't be coming to you then. He only comes to children who believe in him!"

I could see him calculating the extra present...

i dont lie ever.

father christmas is real so not sure what your going on about

oh god yes, it's a FABULOUS lie.

(Although I have one non-believer now and one who's playing dumb)

Spider, I'm afraid you aren't the first to raise this issue. There was a big to-do on here a few weeks ago!

As your son specifically asked you, I think you did the right thing. I say let them believe for as long as they can, kids have little enough magic and mystery in their lives these days.

As several people said before tho, make sure he doesn't tell anyone who does still believe!

I remember the sense of betrayal when I discovered I'd been hoodwinked. I stood up for the Father Christmas idea at school many years longer than was healthy simply because I didn't believe my mum and dad would lie to me. Especially such involved, calculated lies.

I recall a major existential crisis upon discovering the truth.

I know it's fun and all that, but I am still uneasy about the father christmas thing. I'm always non committal on the subject where other mums delight in the fantasy, making up all sorts of elaborate hoaxes to thrill.

I can see both sides I really can, but what to do, what to do ...

I don't see what the big problem is with telling other kids though.

Bigger children go around telling small children that santa doesn't exist All The Time. Small children just don't believe it fi they don't want to.

Darnit DT. That's what I get for staying off MN so long.

I think it crushes little children! And the big ones enjoy popping their bubble.

You can't stop them doing it though.

I've never seen a child crushed by it. But will keep looking.

As ever, one size doesn't fit all. If it does't suit you and your family then don't do.

However, we do magic dust footprints and this year there'll be reindeer poo too.

lies?
what lies?
are you trying to say father xmas is a fairytale? don't be daft!
my parents used to say that if you don't believe, you won't get anything.... of course there is a big fella in a red suit. Mine are just 7,4 & almost two, but the eldest did wonder last year why he drinks red wine in our house when he seems to have brandy everywhere else

one of the loveliest things dh has said was pre-children - we had had one of those hypothetical what type of parents will we be conversations. it included Christmas and we disagreed on the big FC lie. I said it was a source of wonder. he said that was bollocks. a few weeks later Hale Bop (the comet) was in the sky. sitting on a beach in Wales at midnight he said "who needs Father Christmas when there are stars in the sky?"

one of the loveliest things (bearing in mind the above) he has done was last Christmas. I caught him on Christmas eve making hoof prints in the reindeer food dds had put on the doorstep.

I will be lying.

Oh how sweet hatwoman!

I lie. I was lied to - didn't bother me. Never took it as being lied to - it's more pretend.

DS is 6 and he asked recently if Santa was real and I said yes. Said I would be afraid not to believe in him in case i didn't get any presents. He seemed relieved! From what i can gather there was talk in his class last year that Santa didn't exist - one boy with older brothers told all the boys that it is "just your Mum and Dad". Others asked at home but DS didn't. Def believed though as didn't want stocking in bedroom as was a bit scared of Santa coming into room so we left downstairs. and all was fine.

I have one friend who's DS was so scared of Santa that postman Pat had to deliver their presents!

I find it all so lovely that they believe and i will be so sad when he doesn't.

i wont be lying..there REALLY is a father christmas!?..my dd is also called Eve so she things the night before is all about her anyway

I don't know what to do tbh. dd who is 6½ told me a while ago that she didn't think FC was real and that the tooth fairy was really mummy.

I've asked her to keep pretending for her younger brother's sake, which I think she will.

Well ok strictly speaking it's a lie if you want to be brutal about it. And if my dc were terrified at the thought of FC I'd come clean I guess.

But they love it (and so do I) and they're not scared or worried, just excited and I think it's magical and is a lovely part of childhood so I'm keeping it going for as long as I posslibly can.

Life is full of harsh realities but Father Christmas isn't one of them so I'm all in favour. I also have wonderful memories too.

I intend to encourage this particular fantasy for as long as she will allow it. I think when they stop believing a bit of magic leaves their Christmas. A bit of ours as well.

Yes I lie, but is it fair that us parents slog our guts out to pay for christmas and often go into debt just so some weirdo bloke with a beard can take al the credit

My delightful DS2 took it upon himself to tell DS3 (5) that the whole FC thing was a big fat lie, it's really Mum and Dad etc. I only know this because DS2 confessed - interestingly, DS3 seems to be in complete denial and is talking as though he fully believes in FC and has no reason to think otherwise. So he has chosen to keep believing, and I'm perpetuating the lie because he's only 5 and feel he should have a bit of magic in his life. And that's clearly what he wants too. My older kids didn't seem particularly bothered or betrayed when the truth dawned on them - I have no qualms about lying re FC.

Lie, what do you mean!
Mind you ds had to break it to me gently that he's known the truth for sometime but, didn't want to spoil it for me!

i'm a liar too.

its not a real lie though is it? as someone said earlier its magical, just like the tooth fairy and such like. its part of being a child.