So, who will be lying to their children about a fat man clad in red who'll visit them in the night on Christmas Eve'?

[Spidermama]

I wanted to be the first to raise this annual thorn-fest.
Last year my then 6 year old ds, who's very sciency, had a bit of a wobbly and confessed the whole idea terrified him. He asked us to clarify the stranger-comes-in-on-flying-reindeer situation once and for all so we came clean.

His older sister, on the other hand, still enjoys the idea. She's nine and I'm not quite sure if she's suspending her disbelief or if she really believes.

They have two younger brothers and so there are many levels of understanding and belief.

I'm always in turmoil about this subject. I don't have a clear view about how to play it.
Do you?

ds is 10 and probably realises that there is no Father Christmas but he chooses to ''believe' there is and we're happy to put out sherry,mince pie and carrot on Christmas Eve

ranting i think thats really sweet that he didnt want to spoil it for you. what a lovely boy.

I was a bit gobsmacked when he said that, obviously I love Christmas! Was gutted when my cousins told me at the age of 7.

Well dd (7) asked methe other day if he was real and I said yes. So we're still sticking with it for a while

Have to admit on christmas eve I convince myself i can hear the sleigh bells in the distance......

We've never ever done FC - have been honest from day 1, but told them the legend of FC. Ds1 was SO sweet, at the age of 3 he decided he would be FC, dressed up in red, asked dh to make a beard for him, then brought presents in on Christmas day, complete with reindeer (his IKEA rocking dog!), saying 'ho ho ho' and 'is there a xyz here?'. He even included himself, and said 'oh well, can I leave his present here then?.

For him that was as real as believing in a man who comes down the chimney. He's done it every year since, and you can see dd who knows full well it is ds1, desperately 'believing' it is really FC. They have created their own Christmas magic!

Up until I left home, my mum would knock on my bedroom door and tell me Santa had been at about 7am. I was about 23 and usually came in at about 4am on Christmas morning. I fell out with the fat chap then.

My 4 children's ages range from 14yrs to 20 yrs old and they all loved the FC fantasy. Even when they discovered it wasn't true they kept the secret from their younger siblings and loved to join in their amazement that FC had come.

None of them were ever traumatised and I still creep in with their Christmas stockings when they are sleeping. I wish I had never started that one and kept everything in the livingroom. I suggested doing that last year but they wouldn't have it. Takes forever for them to sleep now

I love the fantasy

Well I enjoy the symbol of giving so I sort of allow them to suspend their disbelief but I couldn't and I won't actually lie. When they ask me 'is FC real' I wink and say 'What do you think?' That way we're in the fnatasy together and I'm not taking advantage of their lack of experience and abusing my position as teacher and guide.

I know many people enjoy telling elaborate lies. No matter how well meant, I think it's misjudged. (I know I have just alienated myself from 95% of MN but ... ahh well.)

Many people on this thread have pointed out that the world is full of harsh realities. I don't see this as an argument for making up lies because there will come a time when the kids work out the truth.

My worry is that when they do and when father Christmas dies for them, any hope they held that the world really does have magic dies with him. Somewhere deep down they wonder whether mum and dad had to make this up because really life is shit and devoid of anything truly magical. Especially life as a grown up or older child.

But it's not. There's plenty of real magic out there. The stars, the trees, love, poems, music, steam, birthdays ... sorry to be cheesey but you know what I mean.

ahh. its that age old question. I have an 18 mth old, and I intend to play the part of mum who is a believer!

It is a tradition in the family that every year one of the uncles dresses up for the part - the kids and adults alike join in the fun. (a couple of kids are told not to spoil it for the rest). When ds wants truth, I'll tell him, and carry on the tradition any how!

Ds (7) asked me recently if Father Christmas real. I asked him what he thought and he answered, "no, of course he's real - we can watch him going round the world on the computer"

Every Christmas we refresh this site NORAD tracking Santa's progress regularly, so that ds can see where Santa is as he travels through the different time zones around the world.

i will be lying

is it lying or fantasy?

I prefer to regard it as the latter.

I will lie.
DS(11) & DD (9) will keep up the pretence for me.
They know I will be sad if they don't pretend