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Original poster

Does anyone NOT do Father Christmas for their little ones?

49 replies

mylittlefreya · 26/10/2007 14:25

I'm really tempted, tbh, to just never start mentioning Father Christmas (dd will be 1 at Christmas). But will I cause huge problems, for her and her friends at school? Will she, really, miss out on anything?

Anyone never done the whole thing? Can you make it work?

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
mylittlefreya · 26/10/2007 14:27

Wanted to add - I don't mean no presents, just not from FC. And it isn't for religious reasons.

OP posts:
Theclosetpagansbesom · 26/10/2007 14:27

I toyed with the idea of not doing Father Christmas but decided against it for the very reasons you describe - all the other kids banging on about it - relatives etc. In the end it was easier to go with the whole Father Christmas thing.

However, in my house Father Christmas replaces all the old felt tips etc and just brings one small gift - that way DS appreciates that the other gifts are from relatives and he needs to say Thank You.

Theclosetpagansbesom · 26/10/2007 14:28

..but I don't think your DD would miss out if you decided not to do it.

PirateoftheScarybeing · 26/10/2007 14:31

My dd is 5, and this year I have decided that altho we 'do ' FC, i am playing him down a bit. So that mummy gets more credit and enjoyment from these great gifts being from her, rather than from fc.

Fc is only giving her afew bits this year. I am on my own with dd, and put all the efort into her xmas morning gifts, so I am going to big up 'me' more this year.

EmsMum · 26/10/2007 14:37

You don't need to mention Father Christmas to a one year old. But much beyond that, I don't think you'll get away with it. We managed not to get a tree till DD was 3.

You can keep it as low key as you want though... visits to Lapland are way OTT imo.
Do a grotto only if its a nice low-key one with no queueing. And anyway only when they are 3/4/5.

FC only brings the little things in the stocking to my DD. Oddly enough he still does it even though she quit believing in him when she was 5 - its just part of the fun.

Alambil · 26/10/2007 17:13

FC is the post-man here

Whoever the gift is from has bought it, paid for it and then sends it to FC to wrap and deliver

This means he "believes" in FC and can join in at school but knows that people spend money and time picking presents and who to be grateful to

MrsLynetteScavo · 26/10/2007 17:27

Trying not to be shocked here.

  1. Father Christmas does excitst. I shall for ever believe, and no you cant see the real one by paying lots of money and flying to Lapland.

  2. F.C. has only ever given me, and my children presents which are small enough to fit in a stocking. Things like bikes/dolls houses are from Mum & Dad. You can't get a bike down the chimney, now can you?

MrsLynetteScavo · 26/10/2007 17:29

Oh, and the real Father Christmas does not spend the run up to Christmas sitting in grottos. He is far to busy for that.

ScaryScienceT · 26/10/2007 17:59

We don't actively do FC. We are Christian.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 26/10/2007 18:02

Lynette, you can't fit a fat man in a red suit down a chimney either...

themildmanneredaxemurderer · 26/10/2007 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnionJack · 26/10/2007 18:05

I couldn't wait until my first dc was old enough to do the whole FC thing.

Have you forgotten the excitement and anticipation you felt as a child on Christmas Eve. And the delight at waking up to see a stocking at the end of your bed? I don't think a 1 year old needs to be introduced just yet, but older children...come on!

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 26/10/2007 18:06

Can I just point out that it's not The Done Thing to put spoilers about Father Christmas into thread titles on MN. Some children can read and are nosey little b*ggers.

themildmanneredaxemurderer · 26/10/2007 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilibet · 26/10/2007 18:07

WE do the same as Lynette, Father Christmas fills the stockings (so to speak!!) and I'm a very happy clappy Christian

But some of our friends did decide that they would never lie to their dd and so never did FC, told her that every one else did and she had never to tell anyone else

I thought it was not far short of child cruelty!!

Niecie · 26/10/2007 18:16

We would consider ourselves christian too but still do FC. I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. FWIW my in-laws are happy to join in with FC and my FIL is a methodist minister and my MIL a lay reader.

The only reason I questioned whether to tell the DC about FC is that it is a form of lying but there is so little 'magic' in the world that it seemed a shame not to do it. They both know that they don't get presents, no matter what. They have to 'earn' them by being well behaved and polite and they must never assume that they can have anything they like as FC has to share the toys between the children. You can make it a useful lesson of it if you want to. We also give them a present from us so we get some thought too.

demonaid · 26/10/2007 18:16

There's a big argument about this every year on MN...

We take a halfway position. DS gets a stocking but we don't offer any opinion on where the contents come from. Other presents are definitely from whoever they are from. There's lots of Father Christmas-related stuff that goes on at nursery etc., and he participates in that.

My parents did "do" Father Christmas (I don't think my mother's ever officially admitted he doesn't exist, even to this day) but I don't remember ever actually believing in him properly. I can remember back to Christmas when I was five and certainly by that point, although the stocking presents were officially from Father Christmas, I was perfectly well aware that they'd been bought by my parents. I still managed plenty of excitement and anticipation, and plenty of delight at waking up to see a stocking at the end of my bed (in all the years I lived at home I never managed to work out where my mother stashed the loot in the run-up to Christmas, so I never knew what would be in it apart from the obligatory satsuma). So I don't feel my DCs will be missing out if they have the same attitude, no.

ScaryScienceT · 26/10/2007 18:20

The 'got to be good' think is what I don't like about FC. It goes against the Christian method of grace, and that none of us deserved the gift of Christ.

MrsLynetteScavo · 26/10/2007 18:25

Never lie to their child?

So when their child 'helps' mop the floor, they won't pretend it was helpful, through gritted teeth?

I could never deny my children that feeling of excitement and anticipation about weather my stocking had been filled, and as a child I only found small, simple things in my stocking. I love the whole leaving a mince pie out carrots on the mantle piece thing. Blimey, I'm getting excited about Christmas just thinking about it!

UnionJack · 26/10/2007 18:26

Im with you MrsLynnette. I'm always lying to my children, we all are aren't we?

What would a child prefer, a lovely tale (far fetched) about a jolly red cheeked man bringing the little presents, or COLD HARD REALITY.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 26/10/2007 18:29

If my children stop believing in FC, he won't bring them presents. Simple. And true.

demonaid · 26/10/2007 18:31

"Cold hard reality", in this case, being people who love and care for you taking the time to carefully select presents they know you'll like, buying them, keeping them carefully and then surprising you with them? Yes, I can see why you wouldn't want to traumatise a child with that at a tender age...

MrsLynetteScavo · 26/10/2007 18:33

wheather [bluch]

FunkyGlassSlipupandyouredead · 26/10/2007 18:35

I remember my brother telling me FC didnt exist. I was devastated.

Of course now I know my brother was telling porkies and FC still manages to come each year. He gets a stocking and one big present for my children.

Mummy and Daddy and other relatives also get them gifts.

UnionJack · 26/10/2007 18:35

Yes, but can't you have both? Presents from Fc and those from family? Whats so wrong with the idea of Santa?

By 'cold hard reality' I meant the obsession some parents have with being so truthful with their children all the time, any mystery or fun goes out the window.

Children love imagination, and for me FC is a huge part of that.