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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Does anyone NOT do Father Christmas for their little ones?

49 replies

mylittlefreya · 26/10/2007 14:25

I'm really tempted, tbh, to just never start mentioning Father Christmas (dd will be 1 at Christmas). But will I cause huge problems, for her and her friends at school? Will she, really, miss out on anything?

Anyone never done the whole thing? Can you make it work?

TIA

OP posts:

sfrightx · 26/10/2007 18:47

oh this one again

I don't like the idea I rather have mummy daddy etc, love and care for you and worked hard to get you these special things

dh thinks it is nice to have the magic of Christmas , dd is 2 this year so I guess we have to agree on something

themildmanneredaxemurderer · 26/10/2007 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScaryScienceT · 26/10/2007 19:11

For our kids, Christmas is more about giving than it is about getting. It is so lovely when they save up their pocket money, or ask for jobs to do, so that they can buy presents for their siblings. Weak old me takes them out Christmas shopping only to say that it would be easier to put it all on my CC and have them pay me later (of course, I never actually call in the debts).

Original poster

mylittlefreya · 26/10/2007 19:25

I wasn't here last Christmas, so I apologise for bringing up a topic that is boring to you all.

I'm afraid I always hated Christmas as a child as it was a time of arguments and tears, so I will have to take your word for it that it was magical.

I was merely wondering if I can make Christmas as I would have had it for my dd, or if others had found that unworkable. I do not want her bullied or to suffer.

Thank you for the ideas of FC as the postman. We will spend Christmas with my 3yo nephew, hence why I am thinking about this now. A stocking is also a good idea.

OP posts:

themildmanneredaxemurderer · 26/10/2007 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mylittlefreya · 26/10/2007 19:59

Discussing is great. Moaning a little unfair, perhaps, especially 'oh no this has been done before'.
People assumed I was starting the thread to cause trouble, whereas I wanted to know what people do. I will try not to be touchy or introduce spoilers.

OP posts:

stripeymama · 26/10/2007 20:11

I don't get this thing where FC brings all the presents.

In our house a stocking gets hung up, mince pies and sherry are left out (and carrot for the reindeer), and in the night FC fills it with small presents. Things like rainbow pencils, chocolate money, dolls house stuff etc. And a tangerine at the toe of course. The magic of it all is good for children.

Presents from me and rest of family are given by the person they are from.

wheresthehamster · 26/10/2007 20:17

I wouldn't start worrying about it yet. Your dd won't understand. Wait and see how enjoyable it is for your nephew this Christmas and think how you want to handle it this time next year.

My dds have only ever had one unwrapped gift from FC that is left on the dining table. We put out food and drink for him and Rudolf along with other rituals that are special to us. Everyone still gets excited. Dd1(15) has to pledge her belief in FC to get a present from him.

wheresthehamster · 26/10/2007 20:22

We also do a small stocking from FC. One year I forgot the oranges! The dds were so hurt that I had to make up some spur of the moment story of how FC had maybe run into some turbulence over the North Sea and lost them over the side

MrsLynetteScavo · 26/10/2007 20:44

Forgot the oranges? [schock]

I always include a satsuma, some chocolate coins, adn a walnut. DS1 tells me you get a walnut if you've been a bit naughty!

mylittlefreya, it hadn't occured to me that you might not have had happy Christmas' as a child, I'm sorry. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to 'do' Father Christmas, though.

fortyplus · 26/10/2007 20:47

In our house FC always delivered the presents from friends and relatives, so always 'Thank yous' to them. But he did also leave a small stocking with books, novelties and chocolate, plus one other gift. These days he mostly leaves clothes (dcs will be 12 & 14)!

fortyplus · 26/10/2007 20:48

Has anyone looked at 'NORAD tracks Santa' on Christmas Eve? It's brilliant!

fortyplus · 26/10/2007 20:51

This is last year's version...

crunchie · 26/10/2007 20:58

Well I grew up without FC and never missed him. I also never had christmas full stop.

This never did me any harm tbh and I used to find this fat man in a fake beard quite odd and creepy.

However I had an excuse for this, I am jewish and I was brought up in a hewish household.

Currently we have FC in a minor way, I am actively trying to persuade my DD's he doesn't exist and that it is all a daft bit of fun. They and really wavering and I know they don't really believe. However MIL keeps up teh pretense so I go along with it a bit.

Hulababy · 26/10/2007 21:00

FC is delivery man here too, although he does also bring one gift of his own too. DD knows who all her other presents are from, including me and DH, and she does her thank yous accordingly.

FrannyandZooey · 26/10/2007 21:04

I think if you feel the same way as the OP, it is ok to tell the story of FC as a STORY and if your children want to believe it is true (as lots do in fairies etc) then good for them

and when they are a little older they realise by themselves that it was just a story (or they may ask you outright)

I also think it is ok to say very clearly that FC is JUST a story and teach whatever you personally believe in at Christmas (be that the spirit of kindness, or Jesus, or a giant alien from Neptune)

in this case I would also teach your children that lots of children believe in him and their parents will go berserk if you tell them otherwise

what I must admit I find odd is when parents are spinning elaborate lies to older children who are really past believing, because the parents feel somehow that the belief and the 'innocence' must go on against all odds

if your children ask you and genuinely want to know, is something real, and you lie, whose benefit is this for?

Nightynight · 26/10/2007 21:46

We do the same as demonaid, and give a stocking, but no Father Christmas windups. They get just as excited, honest.

Father Christmas is more about the parents having fun than the children.

FrannyandZooey · 26/10/2007 21:51

yy Nightynight

and nothing wrong with that to a certain extent, but everyone needs to choose where they draw the line, and not bleat on about people being killjoys

Hallowedam · 26/10/2007 21:53

Listen to F&Z, especially the bit about not allowing your non-FC believing child to ruin it for everyone else. Please!

You don't have to join in, but for those who do, it is magical. Myth, legend and story telling are essential parts of all human cultures throughout time. Feel free to tell your child whatever you wish, but make sure they don't stomp all over anyone else's excitement.

HonoriaGlossop · 26/10/2007 21:55

I do think children work it out much younger than most people give them credit for.

But to answer the OP for young children I do think it can be utterly magical and a time of genuine wonder and awe at the amazing thought of father christmas. Personally I think it's a shame not to at least allow a child the chance of that for a very few early years. I do think, yes, it's still exciting to wake up and find presents but I do believe that the element of father christmas adds a little glister.

Totally agree that making elaborate scenarios to keep older children believing is not sensible though.

GodzillasHorriblyHairyBumcheek · 26/10/2007 21:59

We 'accidentally' made a bit too much noise filling the stockings when our dtds were 8...they had been told by lots of people at school what fantastic (expensive) presents their classmates had been receiving, and wondering why they'd been given smaller things.

Considering dh didn't have FC (presents under the tree in his house), and we only began because other people pressured us into conforming, 8 years is pretty good.
Meanwhile the dilemma begins anew as dd3 is 1 in December.

fortyplus · 27/10/2007 11:34

Mine have known that FC wasn't real since they were about 7 or 8. But - you know what? They'll be 12 and 14 this year and on Christmas Eve they'll be spinning elaborate yarns about FC coming down the chimney in a cloud of fairy dust! It's a harmless fantasy and it makes me a bit cross when the smart-ass little sht in the reception class whose parents think he's so grown up because he doesn't believe since his 14 year old sister told him his presents were hidden in the loft goes round telling everyone else. We got round that one by saying that of course his parents have to buy him presents, because FC only comes to the good* children, right?

demonaid · 27/10/2007 19:10

re: Hallowedam and fortyplus, IME I agree with fortyplus that the child likely to tell everyone else that FC doesn't exist is the one who was told he did and has just discovered/been told that he doesn't; the child who never really believed in FC just doesn't tend to think about sharing that with their classmates, any more than the startling revelations that trees are green and dogs go woof.

Theclosetpagansbesom · 27/10/2007 19:31

In our house FC just brings a small gift for DS and delivers all the other presents which are from relatives. I think that's important as I want him to appreciete that FC is not a "present" machine and that all the pressies bar one are from Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles etc.

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