Number of presents vs money spent

[FestiveFannyGallops]

I've read comments on threads before about ensuring the dc have the same number or the same amount of money spent on them. Today I had a daft worry that dd2 has got one less present than dd1 but the extra one dd1 has got is the second big present. It's not big, it cost less than £20 but still. I had one of those argh moments. It got me wondering, what do people focus on more in terms of treating the dc as equally as possible: money or number of gifts? I try to make both money and number fairly equal. Dc are 5, 12, and 13 and thankfully don't want tech things.

I make stockings have the same number of gifts but other than that I just stop when I feel each child has enough of what they will love. We also have a biggish age gap so I think it becomes impossible to match money or number of gifts as their needs are so different

Mine are 1 and 4 so don’t really notice at the minute. I do amount of presents mainly as they have no concept of money yet.

Mine are now 14 and 16, my youngest has ASD so still plays with a few things (mainly Lego) and has special interests, she needs more things to entertain her especially during lockdowns, dd1 doesn’t really want or need much, isn’t into make up or clothes so is hard to buy for. Dd2 usually gets more gifts than dd1 but dd1 usually has one expensive gift and dd2 has several lower priced gifts. Luckily dd1 has never been bothered of her sister gets more to unwrap, all gifts go under the tree other than stockings o there’s no comparing of piles etc..

This year I have spent a lot more on dd1 but she probably has half the amount of presents than her sister but she really won’t mind and understands.

We always go on value

I only have one child but I spent yesterday going through everything and separated birthday and Xmas stuff. His birthday is 4 th January. I keep looking and thinking oh. O he has more for Xmas than birthday the. Switch then switch again . I would be. Nightmare if I had more than one child😂

Mine are too young to even notice yet, youngest is 2. I guess as long as they've got what they've asked for gift piles look similar I wouldn't worry unless you open each gift at the same time so one would notice then. Also some items might be on offer so money would be different.

I try to be fair to both kids but the amount of spent is not equal andI don't like buying for the sake of it so I do worry sometimes.

This year DS is getting a bike as his main gift and DD a tablet. DS pile is big compared to DD and she is only 5 so is likely to be upset by such a thing. We are going to make a big display of her presents to make them look similar size piles rather than buying her more crap she doesn't need.

Neither, I buy what the boys have asked for/I've chosen although I try and make sure the 'piles' are similar sizes even if that means wrapping something really tiny in a big box.

I don't spend the same on them each year as some times one wants a more expensive present and I won't by just for the sake of it but I work on the basis that over the last 21 years things have evened themselves out!

i always wonder if kids actually notice these things?

I couldn't tell you if my twin brother got more, the same or fewer presents than me each year

It's a balancing act.
I try to keep things equal in perceived value rather than monetary value. So they have 'equivalent' gifts even if one was more expensive (and it equals out over time). DDs are close in age. DD2 can sometimes feel she gets the 'short straw' as she gets a lot of stuff handed down.
At the moment they have the same number of gifts. But DH has ordered DD1 something she needed... So one of DD1s gifts may become joint (a big pile of books from the second hand book shop... They will both enjoy them. They share books usually anyway).

I make sure there are the same number of presents - my children will have 3 presents each under the tree, and it is much more noticeable with smaller numbers - if one has 4 and the other 2 that's a big difference proportionally that they can see at a glance.

Whereas if one has 24 and the other 22, that's not really noticeable.

No, my 2, both girls, I have never counted the amount spent or made sure they had the same number of presents. They are treated equally, gifts are bought to suit each personality not to be the exact same, they are very different.

Stockings usually have the same number but the rest depends on what they’ve asked for. Dd 8 has more but her stuff was cheaper and I managed to get more in my budget. DS 12 has asked for more expensive stuff so has got less.

When my kids were little (say 7 and under) it was amount - they had to have the same regardless of value. Now teens they don't really care. My son has much more expensive tastes and this year his main present is worth almost all of his sister's put together. But she did get a very expensive birthday gift earlier in the year. I try and get the same amount as we take it in turns to open our presents and I'd feel bad if one was still opening while the other just watched, but probably bother me more than them.

I try and keep it balanced over the year - they’re 19 and 16 with different hobbies and needs throughout the year, so if one has a more expensive present I don’t stress about it too much

I try and keep it equal ££ wise.

DD1 needed a new phone this year. DD2 wanted less expensive stuff so she has a fairly big pile, where DD1 has less gifts, but more £

I try and keep it balanced over the year - they’re 19 and 16 with different hobbies and needs throughout the year, so if one has a more expensive present I don’t stress about it too much.

I don’t think they’ve ever noticed how many presents they’ve got each or whether one has more ££. I’m not buying crap they don’t want just to even up present piles. It all equals itself out over the year and they know that.

We do same number mainly because we take turns opening gifts and would be pretty obvious if one had more, although I could explain this as they get older.
Try to keep a watch on value too, but don’t religiously stick to making it equal, as figure it evens out over the years.

I keep mine the same in number and amount (give or take up to £1)... its really not that hard to balance, I always have set numbers and budgets for everything though and dont know how people live any other way lol.

example: for birthday they get 12 items adding up to £50, some might be cheap like a £1 item and some more expensive like a £20 item but always 12 items equalling £50 (birthdays are more about family day out and a party than big gifts.)

@MrJinxyCat

We do same number mainly because we take turns opening gifts and would be pretty obvious if one had more, although I could explain this as they get older. Try to keep a watch on value too, but don’t religiously stick to making it equal, as figure it evens out over the years.

this is another big reason why it has to be even, it sucks to be the one sat around while everyone else is still opening gifts

We take turns too so it’s obvious if one has less or more.

Mine are getting older now so I don’t think any of them would actually care (slightly panicking my eldest has half of the other 2 but she’s 18 now so it’s got to stop at some point!)

When they were younger if things were uneven I’d often wrap 2/3 presents together in one parcel. Best thing I’ve found is using sacks instead of stockings so that they have one sack each so it looked even, but the gifts inside could vary in number. The sacks were always done last after the presents and they didn’t have to take turns going through those. Handy when putting gifts together if someone had extra they’d just be popped inside the sack.

We go by budget. This year it's worked out DSes have the same amount and DD is one short but they're all old enough (11, 13, 18) to understand that we have a budget and some years it might be they have 2 expensive items compared to a siblings 5 or 6 cheaper ones.

Mine usually have versions of the same things in their stockings so numbers are roughly the same. This year one son has a gaming pc so a ridiculous spend but the other has more to open as he has mainly asked for lego etc and I overcompensated due to feeling a bit guilty.

In fairness Lego son had a Switch for his birthday which was a bigger spend than on pc son’s so things do tend to even out eventually.

I have never been particularly careful to match numbers of presents or cost tbh. I don't think my two (12 and 15) notice or try to compare with each other really. I've been kind of pleasantly surprised by how undemanding they still are about what they want/get - I was expecting them to be wanting expensive stuff by this age tbh.

I can remember some of the things I asked for as a kid, it was stuff like a cassette album and one time roller blades. As long as I got that I was happy, didn't matter if it looked tiny. What I hated was my sibling getting the same as me, or a variation on my gift.
We only have one child but for my parents, niece and nephew etc I try to spend roughly the same. That said nephews gifts look small and boring this year, I have been tempted to add something "fun". It's a pile of books and I hope that's actually what he wanted and not what his parents wanted, don't want up be Boring Auntie who is always giving educational gifts!

Mine probably wouldn't notice any difference unless it was major. I have the Manage Christmas app where you set an amount for each person so it makes it easier to compare. It adds everything up for you and tells you how much you have left of your budget. Or in my case how much I've overspent I've found that I've spoilt my mum a lot more since my dad died but I enjoy giving her things as she never treats herself to anything. The dc always get her gifts and we love seeing her open her presents the times she's with us.
I didn't have siblings of a similar age so I had no comparisons to make except with the girl next door who got loads. She had everything she could have wished for and more but my parents weren't well off and there was four of us. Big lists didn't exist in those days and we had one main present and a few stocking things that we hadn't asked for as a surprise from Father Christmas. My all time favourite present was a pair of burgundy suede roller boots when I was 9. They were amazing and I got so much use out of them. My grandparents bought me those. I can't remember what my parents bought me that year though.