What to buy my parents who dislike everything you ever buy them

[whatisthepointofatoering]

Just that, both 70, no real hobbies, they do like drinking wine, but that just seems a cope out unless something amazing and I know nothing about wine, they drink red. I have previously bought them a grape vine.

They always complain about gifts or give them away. But I will see them Xmas day I need something

Last year I did a winter plant hamper, with some chocolates and wine, they didn't crack a smile. I can't bare wasting my money on them 😬

I'd stick with wine and other consumables - box of biscuits, crackers and a cheese selection. Maybe a Christmassy houseplant. If they really are that difficult (and rude I have to say), buy only what you know they like and will get used.

A little decorated Christmas tree to put outside the front door. Or a bay tree/ olive tree with a big red bow

Not sure what your budget is but a premium (lever-type) corkscrew is a really good present for wine lovers. We were given a Bonjour one as a present 15 years ago - it’s still going strong and is used on a weekly basis. Le Crueset do some good ones, or there’s a cheaper version by Oxo.

We have a couple of local vineyards nearby that do tours, tasting and nice lunches. How about that?

They sound awful though. I think asking you for a gift that is 100s of pounds and unaffordable for you is worse than being ungrateful about what you usually get!

A herb garden, you can even get quite high tech ones which provide sunlight and don't need watering?

A wine aerator? There's a lot of wine accessories that you can buy.

Or a vase or some nice planters.

"Charity present won't go down well, my Dad has some very unreasonable, unrealistic views about how charity shouldn't need to exist. I think you get the picture of what they are like. Cantankerous."

Well I have the ideal solution. Get them a voucher from lendwithcare.org It's an organisation that makes loans to entrepreneurs in third world countries, in order to build their small businesses. Usually small shops, farms, market stalls, etc. You lend £15, to whichever person or group you choose. They pay back monthly. They have no personal contact with you or way of finding out who has contributed to their loan, and the lender receives a monthly email detailing what has been repaid. At the end, you have a choice to withdraw your £15 or reinvest in someone else.
The people you lend to have no way of borrowing otherwise, no chance of overdrafts or bank loans for them! This scheme would also be a wonderful extra present for a child, an opportunity to find out how other people live, where they live, etc..

Magazine subscription? Of a magazine of their choice, obviously.
After a difficult few Christmases with my DM, culminating in the silk robe I'd bought her being pulled, screwed up and with the tags removed, from her voluminous handbag and dropped on the stair carpet as she left on Boxing Day with the words' I don't want this, it's too slippery and doesn't hang well'. I stopped worrying about what was too easy or trying to choose something I thought she'd love. She gets a large box of chocolates and a magazine subscription every year. That's it. I check before I renew if she wants the same one or a repeat, but that is the level of effort I expend now. Frankly it was liberating!

Or get a bottle of wine. They like wine.

@81Byerley

"Charity present won't go down well, my Dad has some very unreasonable, unrealistic views about how charity shouldn't need to exist. I think you get the picture of what they are like. Cantankerous."

Well I have the ideal solution. Get them a voucher from lendwithcare.org It's an organisation that makes loans to entrepreneurs in third world countries, in order to build their small businesses. Usually small shops, farms, market stalls, etc. You lend £15, to whichever person or group you choose. They pay back monthly. They have no personal contact with you or way of finding out who has contributed to their loan, and the lender receives a monthly email detailing what has been repaid. At the end, you have a choice to withdraw your £15 or reinvest in someone else.
The people you lend to have no way of borrowing otherwise, no chance of overdrafts or bank loans for them! This scheme would also be a wonderful extra present for a child, an opportunity to find out how other people live, where they live, etc..

Ooh that's interesting. Have you done it?

If I were to do it as a gift for my teen sons, do they get any information regarding the business itself and how it's going or just what's been repaid?

Do most plans get repaid?

An alexa and a Spotify subscription?

Netflix?

Wooly hat, scarf and gloves set?

Something they already have, but upgraded?

A velvetiser?

If somebody, anybody, was rude about a present we bought them it would be the first and last time

BIL (32) came to his parent's house for a birthday meal a couple of years ago. When he left he took his presents but purposely left all the cards. MIL piped up, oh he doesn't like cards. Needless to say he never gets a card a birthday or Christmas. To just leave them was rude imo

The wine society is fab, if they aren't members already. It's a co-operative so it's not trying to make profit, just break even for its members.

Alternatively I think buying a charity gift and maybe a bottle of wine from the supermarket would be quite legitimate given how difficult it sounds like they tend to be!

@whatisthepointofatoering

I've tried asking before and either it's the oh nothing much, surprise us or they ask for something very specific and expensive multiple hundreds . I then feel I have to get, which is over my budget of nothing  Theybare quite wealthy. Tried stopping gifts, but they say that's a bit miserable. The irony.

Might buy wine. They like French @AgentProvocateur looks great !

Can't buy quality street due to the fussiness.

Charity present won't go down well, my Dad has some very unreasonable, unrealistic views about how charity shouldn't need to exist. I think you get the picture of what they are like. Cantankerous.

I have bought my mum jewellery in past but feel it's been done.

I think you might be my sister! If you are he means it about the charity but he likes the presents really, he's just rubbish at showing it and really he'd prefer you didn't spend your money on him.

Do you know what, if I bought gifts for someone who was rude enough to complain about them, I just wouldn't bother again.

I would just tell them you aren't doing gifts anymore as you can't afford it and they never seem to be happy with what you choose anyway.

If you aren't bothered about seeing them it may result in them sulking and telling you not to come?

Just say 'can we agree mutual no presents from now on?' That's what we do and it works fine.

Charity donation. Buy a goat or sponsor a child. Then just get them a token item, ungrateful sods!

Another vote for Wine Society membership if they haven't got it already. But ignore all the suggestions for wine accessories. I like wine, I already have 4 corkscrews, several fancy wine stoppers (which I never use), a wine chiller, multiple books about wine and a rather weird chinese outfit for a wine bottle. Please no more wine accessories!

@whatisthepointofatoering

Damn Boris .. could of stayed lockdown for Xmas 😉

Why don't you just 'develop' a cough the day before you are due to go and have to self isolate over Christmas. Seriously, life's too short to put up with their misery!

how about some decorations for their tree, if they have one?
a plant?
just grin and bear it op
get them a photo of you, in a frame, put it up for them

Think I'd buy them some self help books focusing on gratitude

I'd get them fuck all and tell them exactly why - because they are so horrendously rude I'm not prepared to waste even 50p on them.

How about a donation to the charity where you twin your toilet with someone who doesn't have one? It comes complete with a certificate you can frame.

www.toilettwinning.org/christmas/

MY DF is exactly like this. He'll thank me for the gifts but you can tell he doesn't really mean it. Last year he ranted about how wasteful it is to buy him toiletries as they don't get used, and how he's fed up of getting them. I got him some very expensive toiletries that year.

Best update ever @BecomeStronger