How close do you get to your perfect Christmas?

[Deereamer]

My perfect Christmas would be something along the lines of:

Pyjamas all day.
Presents for the kids in the morning
A nice breakfast - maybe croissants?
A buffet party food lunch and a Black Forest Gateaux for pudding.
An afternoon on the settee while the kids play with their toys.
A mountain of cheese, crackers and chutney and a tub of roses for tea.
A baileys and a game of cards with DH once the kids go to bed.

DH would like to do similar (apart from sacrificing his Christmas roast dinner).

It occurred to me while I was mulling over a lockdown over Christmas that we literally spend the whole day racing around to please everyone else. The only bits that we will do will be presents for the kids and a drink together on Christmas night. I couldn’t change our usual routine as I wouldn’t want to stop our parents spending time with the grandkids but the prospect of lockdown has made me daydream about a completely selfish Christmas Day .

So tell me what would be your perfect day and how close do you get to it?

What we’re doing this year loads of advent music and carols my favourite Christmas tv things I’ve already started, loads of nice food to last us spoiling each other and in-laws. No tv over Christmas most is rubbish, we can’t wait, in-laws are miles away so they’re being spoilt. Normally we see them in December not happening this year.

I do like putting a dress and tights on 😆 it's usually one of less than a handful of opportunities I get every year. Its usually a really comfy pair of Snag tights and a stretchy dress- comfort is still king!!

I'd love to go for a walk but I'd be on my own I fear!

I usually listen to the Adam Buxton Christmas podcast with Joe Cornish while I potter in the kitchen, which is a bit of a highlight for me. Hoping DS1 will help me out with dinner a bit this year...think Dr Buckles might entice him!

I'll be pregnant with gestational diabetes this year so wont feature the bucks fizz and sweet treats I'd usually have but plenty of cheese!

My DFIL is very poorly and this may well be our last Christmas with the wonderful man. I really hope we can be together and make it one full of love and laughter!

@SharedLife I hope your Christmas with DFIL is lovely and filled with happiness!

@Holothane sounds like you’ll have a lovely time!

I often have my perfect Christmas Day and will be having it this year.

It involves just us at home so we can please ourselves. The DC wake me up when they're awake (never too early) and I go down first (as I like to see their faces as they come down!) and then they come down to find their stockings on the fireplace full! They open their stockings and then while they're busy with them I make breakfast - pastries, orange juice, Bucks Fizz and coffee. After breakfast we all sit around the tree and open the presents from each other one at a time (as again I like to see their faces as they open their presents!). We then get dressed - anything goes - I usually wear a jumper dress or leggings and a sparkly top. Nothing too dressed up. We will have prepared veg the day before so lunch is quite easy to prepare - we eat about 2 so I can take my time and get lots of time with the family while it's in the oven. I put out some crisps and nuts as we don't have a starter. After our main course we have a break before pudding. I am completely relaxed during the meal and I don't care if my DD only eats one bite and then wants to play with her new toys! After dinner we usually open presents from the wider family and then often play a board game or charades. Later we have pudding and then everyone else clears up while I sit on the sofa with a bailey's coffee. Relaxed evening enjoying each other's company and nibbling chocolate. At one point I'll put out the Christmas cake, mince pies and Stollen.

we do almost exactly as you say only difference is:

Buffet food for breakfast

I wear a dress (dont like PJs)

We have the roast dinner

And no cheese (I dont like cheese, the kids usually comendeer some pringles)

I dont understand why people run around especially after having kids, did you never learn to tell people no?

its not selfish to put you kids and husband first, kids should always come first at xmas (its litrally a celebration of a child/birth) what is totally 'selfish' to me is fully grown adults that expect others to massively inconveniance themselves and drag their children around to others whims, (imagine if the 3 kings demanded Mary & Jesus came to them and the visited the Shepard afterwards etc...) that is the exact opposit of the spirit of xmas to me.

Visit family on other days and focus on your own nuclear family for Xmas day.

Pretty much 100%.

When everyone's awake, we whack on Christmas music, make for the mimosas, and everyone piles into our bed and we open the christmas stocking presents.

When that's done, we make Eggs bene' with smoked salmon - more mimosas. Eat that, then we vege out until a wee bit later in the day, when we do presents from under the tree.

Having done those, we all vege out some more, those who want, go for a walk, those who don't, don't. Then we get around to prepping Christmas dinner, which is between 5 and 8pm, and just loll about eating and drinking what we want. I love setting the table, so I do that. Girls are often online to their friends.

DH and I get in touch with the NZ Whanau, to say thank you for the presents, and to hear thank you for the presents.

It's totally chill, and we all love our day.

Oh, and everyone wears what they want, be it pj's or to dress up. I'm a dress up kind of a girl for Christmas day!

We have historically alternated between going to my parents' and PILs for Christmas Day. I always have my perfect Christmas Day when we spend it with my side of the family (but also really enjoy it with PIL tbh).

Dc bring in their stockings and open them in our bedroom. Scrambled eggs and smoked salmon or ham for breakfast. Everyone gets dressed (festive/smartish, no pjs). Presents round the tree with carols on. Glass of fizz, play with/try on etc presents. Maybe a game of some kind or do some of the festive quiz. Brief dog walk. More drinks and nibbles. Christmas Lunch (turkey and all the trimmings). More games and general hanging out throughout the evening. Turkey or ham sandwiches, cheese and biscuits,mince pies at tea time.

Obviously no idea yet if we'll be able to have family here this year or not - if so, probably only my parents, not dsis and her family. Were supposed to going to PIL, but they are too worried about the virus. I hope it won't be just the 4 of us. We did that one year and it was a real anti-climax tbh.

My perfect Christmas would be to ignore it and have a normal, if lazy day. Instead they all pile round to me and I spend the day (my birthday) cooking and hosting people who love Christmas simply because they get to turn up and be hosted and have none of the work involved. Definitely a Grinch here.

Dressed properly. Don’t like people in their night wear all day long. Some kind of walk, even if short. Carols on the radio.

No Bailey’s!

Lots of wine. Better quality than we could normally afford.

Lots of chocolate and cheese. I could almost do without the meal and just have them.

Just DH and I
We'd have smoked salmon sandwiches in bed for breakfast and an hour or three of Britten. Get dressed for a very easy lunch and a bottle of champagne.

Nice long walk and home for more music and cheese and chocolate.
Good bottle of red with a bit of Chrismas TV.

DC are grown up, mothers are elderly as are the widowed aunts. They all come here and it's industrial cooking, pleasing and exhaustion tinged with the stress of trying to please everyone.

OP, our (pre-Covid) Christmas is very close to your ideal. We get around the Christmas roast dinner problem by having it on Christmas eve. Could your DH be persuaded to do that? We make a big whole day event of it, grandparents all invited, along with any waifs and strays that might be spending Christmas alone and not bother to cook a meal for themselves. Friends often pop in during the day delivering last-minute gifts and end up staying for a drink and a few nibbles, which makes it especially festive.

Grandparents stay overnight, if they wish - they usually love to because they get to see the DC open their presents. But Christmas day is strictly no cooking. I'll make a nice breakfast and a buffet spread later on but, basically, if you're hungry help yourself! And PJs permitted all day too. I prefer to get dressed as I like to go out for a long walk at some point but no PJ nagging is allowed!

Obviously we won't be having a lot of visitors this year but the no cooking and all-day PJs laws will still be observed!

I’m so happy for this Christmas we’re both sharing ideas and it’s lovely.

I love our Christmasses when we don't have to spend it at anyone else's house. This year it's just me, dh, our DC and the dog.
In the morning the DC come into our bed and open their stockings, and then we go down and open the gifts under the tree. Dc2 is 6 so Santa is still a thing. We have a pretty normal breakfast, nothing too big or filling. A pastry and fruit maybe.

Then we go for a big walk with the dog in the woods. This year we have bought the DC dirt/all terrain scooters so they can bring them. Home, shower and pjs, and then have Xmas dinner. (We have ordered from m&s this year for ease). Then the kids will play with their presents/eat chocolate, the dog will sleep, and dh and I will relax with a glass of wine, or maybe start a family game of Pandemic or taskmaster or ticket to ride or something. Maybe a film or TV show in the evening. We'll probably all fall asleep before 10pm.
Boxing day is all about the cheese and charcuterie board, leftovers and watching TV or reading!

We usually do have our favourite christmas. I generally host a big party at Thanksgiving but it is mostly just the 5 of us for christmas. The kids are young adults so:

Meet downstairs around 9 or 10 and have coffee in front of the fire seeing what santa brought
I put on sausages and toast and we exchange gifts with each other havint that
kids go back to bed and dh and I potter around/read/start prepping the dinner
We all go for a walk in the woods with the dog
Dinner in the evening - roast beef and everything with it
Sometimes kids friends call in - won't be happening this year
Play something like cards against humanity or articulate after dinner
watch a film and go to bed.

Mine is perfect alternate years when my eldest 2 dc are here (alternate with XH so on his years they aren’t here until 6pm)

Wake around 5am (DH too excited to sleep and makes noise until dc wake about 5.15)

DC open stockings and Santa presents on our bed.
Downstairs for coffee while dc play
Open tree presents.
Walk dog.
Another coffee, get dressed then breakfast (bacon sandwich for dh, smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for me and a glass of Buck’s Fizz, selection boxes for dc).
Prep dinner.
Parents arrive.
Exchange family gifts.
Dinner with crackers and champagne.
Ignore the washing up.
Play with dc.
Parents go home.
Watch the snowman.
Chocolate and mince pies instead of evening meal.
Play with dc.
Dc fall asleep and are carried to bed.
Watch a Christmas film/ play a board game and drink champagne.

Not really but I have high hopes for this year.
We’re supposed to alternate families each year which means we spend one year with dh’s dps and the other year we only have to see them on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the evening of Boxing Day . I’m hoping with covid we might get a little more space this year but that remains to be seen
I like hosting and welcoming people into our home but I’ve also fantasised for a long time of having a quiet Christmas by ourselves. So being able to do that without guilt is very enticing.

I’d love a big family Christmas like when I was a child. My mother had loads of siblings and they’d all bring their kids to grandma’s house. Everyone would drink and laugh and the kids would play together.

Sadly I have no siblings, grandma is dead and so area number of my aunts and uncles. My cousins are parents and in some cases grandparents, so their time at Christmas is full with just their own immediate families. At my house it’s just me, DH and DM, and my DC is the only child. I find it quite sad really.

Won't be having my ideal Christmas this year.
Usually we host, my DP and family one year and PIL & family the next and see the others boxing day as there's too many of us for all in one day.
On a normal year all the veg & dessert prep gets done Xmas eve before a big walk, chippy tea and Christmas film.
Xmas day - kids get up semi early and bring stockings into our bed. Come downstairs for breakfast (croissants & chocolate) and mass present opening. Showers and dressed - something nice (stretchy) or Xmas jumpers. Parents, siblings, nieces and nephews arrive 12ish when it becomes super loud and chaotic and kids go off and play. MTV Christmas channel on in the background all day. I'm in and out of kitchen, drinking wine and sorting dinner which is about 2. Pudding normally about 5. Presents from family we have at about 6. Cheeseboard etc comes out around 7.30 and we all play silly games (MIL is surprisingly competitive!). Family start to wander off about 10ish then our kids go to bed, DH and I will then crack open the port or a nice bottle of red to have with a bit more cheese and just relax for an hour or so before we go to bed.
Boxing day follows a similar pattern. I absolutely love it and am gutted it's not going to be the same this year 😥

I have the Christmas Day I enjoy. Lots of family around, a morning with lots of family in the in laws and then hosting my family for dinner in mine. Similar for the next day.

The only thing I would change is Christmas Eve. We have yet another family day and what I would really like is a trip into a town for lunch with my own husband and children rather than yet another afternoon with family in a house

Last year came close to perfect.

The kids come in to our bedroom first thing, all excited with their stockings. Then downstairs for more presents! DH says we can't open them all at once. I would change that, but I'm happy to compromise here. 😆 Grandparents arrive mid morning and hype up the excitement another notch. (More present opening as per DH's wish). This was pretty much the perfect amount of people for Christmas day. Enough to add a bit of energy, but not too many to make cooking a nightmare. I then happily go in the kitchen with a glass of wine, and start cooking. People come and go, help and chat. After dinner was a walk, go or stay, I don't mind. This year just me and my dad went out for about an hour - it was beautifully sunny, but cold. Parents go home for the night so I can chill out and not have to entertain anyone.

Then, a day or so later - chaos! Relatives all congregate over the weekend, people slept on floors and the dining room table had to be taken apart and put back up in the kitchen so the 20+ of us could all eat together. Lots of buffet food, lots of puddings, cakes, cheese and crisps. ❤ We played games, went on walks and ate!

Yeah, I'd say as close as possible to 100%. The best decision I made was to refuse to travel to others' after 1 year when we had to rush the small children out the door on Xmas morning, having rushed their presents to drive for 3.5 hrs to get to SIL for lunch. After that I said never again, the kids would have Xmas in their own home, although we were open to anyone else joining us (often only my parents accept the invitation).

Eggs benedict being shortened to Eggs bene' made me really uncomfortable, sorry.

I think we're fairly close to getting Christmas how we want. But one thing I struggle with is my family don't seem that fussed on doing things in the run up to Christmas or afterwards. But we make a lot of effort to make it how we want.

The years we stay at home are close to perfect (we have to travel some years - and eat 2 turkey dinners and fail every time try and keep the 2 DMs happy racing between the 2 houses we grew up in).

We do most of the main prep for proper roast on 24th, as a family - so it's mostly a case of putting things into and taking them out of the oven - a very small amount of "zhushing" (is that the word?) like putting the already herbed butter onto the root veg after a short steam before going into the oven.

At home, DD is generally not dreadful for early starts - usually between 7 and 8, so she opens her stocking and we all have a relaxed breakfast in pjs, of fresh OJ, large pots of tea and coffee, freshly baked pastries (either Jus-Rol from fridge, or M&S from freezer), bacon sarnies, bowl of mixed fresh fruit etc.

All into decent clothes (no sports leggings allowed for DD - must be jeans, but we've given up on dresses/skirts or anything fancy) - I usually wear a dress, DH at least a shirt and tie level of formality.

Out for mass, a walk to waste some time after it, and a couple of visits to extended family living near us.
Home - turn on tree lights, turn on radio/spotify, light fire, turn on oven, final prep of turkey and throw it in, throw in some M&S party food, open wine and nice drinks, leave kitchen tidy...
Enjoy opening presents and relaxing for a couple of hours - intermittent forays to kitchen to put something else into the oven or baste turkey or take something out as needed, when refilling glasses (and bowls of crisps) as necessary.

Enjoy a nice dinner.
All clear up together.

Relax watching some seasonal tv, or a movie, or playing a board game.

Maybe have some cheese and crackers, and/or proper pudding, later when turkey has digested a bit, possibly with a glass of port.