11yo boy who does nothing!

[Thedarksideofthemoon30]

Ds will literally sit in his room on his Xbox/phone all day if allowed. Iv bought him lego/science things in the past and he’s not been bothered with them.

He wants a Nintendo switch for Xmas

But I have absolutely no idea on little presents/stocking for him!

He loves pokemon snd collects them. He loves history and wants to be an Archaeologist.

I wouldn't be buying him the Switch.

Sorry this sounds really... earnest

But best present you can give him is to start effectively parenting him by sucking up the drama of when you restrict and actually imposing restrictions and limits.

From... now

My DS loves gaming and tech too (although does have other hobbies too). Would he be interested in a go pro type camera? My DS loves his and he films himself on his bike/scooter/skateboard/doing some other activity and is learning how to edit them and put them together to make a movie! He loves it and I figure it’s getting him doing other activities and he’s combining his love of tech and learning something too.

@Cantthinkofausename

Op you don't need to justify yourself to others. You didn't come on here to ask for parenting tips

Exactly! It's a really tough time for kids at the moment and the only way they can stay in touch with and play with their mates outside of school is online. DS and his mates went through a similar phase and came out of it unscathed! Try looking at companies like Menkind, IWOOT etc for ideas. You could get him a game like exploding kittens, Trumps fake news etc to encourage engagement with the family. I bought DD a set to toast marshmallows consider and out which I know she'll love. Are there any films etc he likes - lots of pop funk or whatever they're called and other merchandise.

He came off his phone yesterday at lunch time without me even I asking him. I just mentioned that we should start limiting the time on it.

He went to the park with his best friend for 3 hours and then came home and did extra my maths. He then watched bake off with me and went on his phone until bedtime, so 6-8.

The continuous micro-dosing of dopamine from the screen time is stopping him enjoying other activities.

Not relevant for this Christmas but maybe the next one will be filled with more ‘hobbies/activities’ if you do limit screen time.

Good luck😊

Just keep talking to him and see how he learns to adapt and make his own ideas arise from boredom. Boredom is a helpful emotion and he will get over it with some encouragement- just like you saw yesterday. We don’t limit as such but we do chat a lot about making good choices and the importance of Health and exercise as well as why too much screen time isn’t good for you. But some days DS(8) will spend more than he should. Others not. I totally agree with the PP who said children will never learn self control when being controlled all the time but I do add a lot of communication and discussion to that mix plus two way respect as well.

So Xmas- definitely ask him. I love the idea of a detector, or fossils and a fossil book to encourage getting out searching. A rubix cube? A bop-it game? Cards and a small card trick book? A harmonica. A bow and arrow set from decathlon isn’t stocking but is a good gardening game and it’s the archery set they use at the local sports centre with its own target etc.

You don’t have to justify anything. There’s some really judgemental people on this thread. You asked for ideas for Christmas presents not parenting. And people seem to have ignored the words in your OP ‘if allowed’. Nowhere do you say that he does sit in front of screens all day. My DS probably would too ‘if allowed’ but he’s not allowed so he doesn’t!

Hope the people who have offered ideas instead of judgement have been helpful.

He’s been asking for a metal detector all year so will be getting that. He got a telescope for his birthday last month that he loves.

Oh don’t bother with the metal detectors OP

Unless you buy professional standard! And spend many £100s

Then they are all crap. Really

Light dumbbells
Basketball hoop for garden
Driving experience
Go karting experience

This is what I’ve got my 10 year old

That’s unfortunate about the metal detector. I wonder if it’s worth looking on some metal detector forum places for advice.

Oh gosh OP, my ten year old is exactly the same! We limit his screen time with an app, but it's a constant battle! He has mild autism and a real tendency to screen addiction. We do ask him to do his school work or another activity first and then he gets his screen time, but we have endless discussions and push back from him.
We haven't bought Xmas presents yet, but we are considering clothes, a Pokemon box, potentially a clock radio as he loves listening to the radio.
He does want a switch and a phone but it's not happening.
Agree, there are some judgmental comments on this thread.

Bloxxels? Ok, it’s tech/ gaming related but also creative and real life play.