Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Me too @Pepperwand, although yours look tidier than mine.

@Grrrpredictivetex they look lovely!

The tip I got from Mumsnet was to mix in sage and onion stuffing into the sausage meat then use the very fine dust from the dry stuffing mix to sprinkle on the pastry after the egg wash. Game changer!

@Pepperwand

The tip I got from Mumsnet was to mix in sage and onion stuffing into the sausage meat then use the very fine dust from the dry stuffing mix to sprinkle on the pastry after the egg wash. Game changer!

Oh I'd love that but hubby hates stuffing 🤷‍♀️. Maybe I could do half and half. Is stuffing straight from packet?

@HotPatootiebootie that looks really lovely. Don't you know though you can't post the photo without the recipe!

@WisestIsShe

Sorry! I did start going from a recipe but in a pretty free range baker. It's roughly

750g strong flour
50g butter
300ml milk
2 1/2 tsp yeast
Tea spoon sugar
Grated rind of lemon and Orange.
Hefty squirt of both citrus.
Freshly made cup of black tea.
Tea spoon of salt
spices

Spices to taste. I use some mixed spices, cinnamon and ginger. About 3 tea spoons.

Soak a cereal bowl portion of dried fruit and candied peel in some hot tea and a hefty squirt of the fresh orange and lemon. Leave to soak.

Heat milk and butter to hand hot then add freshly grated zest. Mix sugar, yeast and 30ml water and leave to sit. Add flour and salt to the mixing bowl. Drain fruit and add to bowl. Then add the yeast mix. Slowly mix as you add the zesty milk and butter mix. It should come together. If it's wet add a bit more flour. Leave to rise for a few hours or 1-2 hours in a slightly warm oven. Then punch down, empty out onto fried surfaces and divide into 2. Put into butter/floured loaf tins. Score then to allow for growth. Leave to sit for 30 minutes and Then I cook in a fan oven at 160c for 50 ish minutes ( but my oven is a as bit funny). You can also soak the dried fruit for longer but I'm impatient.

Thanks @HotPatootiebootie, sounds gorgeous. Have the fruit soaking now and I'll give it a go tomorrow.

@Grrrpredictivetex I made up the stuffing with about 3/4 of the water it says on packet then mixed that with sausage meat.

Hi everyone! Lots of lovely decorations and yummy things as usual!

My poncing for today: a trial run of Lucia buns. They turned out pretty good but next time I will make a cognac saffron extract instead of using whole strands. I’ll add a little bit of cardamom as well, and I’ll take more care with the egg wash to ensure a more even coating.

Still quite pleased with them (haven’t made these since I was a child and was really only ‘helping’). All set for St.Lucia’s day! 🕯😊🎄

Omg, For that recipe I forgot to add two eggs to the list!! Add them after the milk and butter 😬

@HotPatootiebootie Too late! I've only just seen your update. The dough was a bit heavy so I added another good glug of milk. They turned out lovely though, soft and delicious. I'll definitely use the eggs next time

Wow they look impressive even without the eggs!

all of this baking is making me so hungry! Looks amazing.

This isn’t poncetastic really, because it’s just something I cobbled together (or stapled, more correctly!) in literally five minutes last year to cheer up the very spartan hallway in our little flat. If I was going to ponce I would have taken much more care with the balance of it and also would have come up with a better way of doing it so as to avoid staple marks in my cards. But I thought it was a good way of displaying some cards from Christmases past!

I also finally worked out how to make the folded paper stars I used to make as a child.

Three down, many more to go!

They look beautiful @HollyandIvyandallthingsYule!

Today the mincemeat making begins: 12 hours of marinating overnight, followed by 3 hours of "cooking" to melt the suet and coat everything, then tomorrow, jarring and sealing! Also going to go through everything I've bought for Christmas so far and start wrapping in front of some Christmas movies.

We made mincemeat last week! This Sunday we’ll be making our Christmas cake.😊😊🎄🎄

Oh and thank you! They’re really effective for just being made out of strips of paper...

Again, it doesn’t count as poncing, really, but I was chuffed to win this M&S cushion cover on eBay as it’s exactly the style I like and very effective with the wheat/red contrast, plus I really love the seasonal sentiments. It makes me feel calm and happy just looking at it...Good quality fabric and construction, too, for not much money at all.

I’m really looking forward to getting started on decorating!

Oh maybe it does count! I guess the overall effect will hopefully be very poncey! I keep thinking it means I have to make everything myself and/or that it has to be suitably fancy...

@HollyandIvyandallthingsYule they look lovely. Well done. Definitely wouldn't have looked like that if I'd have done it. Decided I'm very cackhanded my mother was right 😂

@HollyandIvyandallthingsYule my husband always tells me off for saying I won things on ebay- he says no you BOUGHT it.

But I never win anything else so winning on ebay feels great!

Heh! I had the winning bid so it’s perfectly correct to say that.

I usually only do Buy it Now because I don’t like the auctions (I used to get carried away and spend too much ) but this time I had to have it. Luckily I got it for a reasonable price.

@HollyandIvyandallthingsYule those stars are beautiful do you have a link to instructions? Not in the UK and decorations are extortionately priced here ($20+ for some really cheap looking plain baubles) so i'm making my own, those stars would look lovely hung with some string on the tree

We bought air dry clay from The Works for £4. Hope my family are excited for homemade tealight holders made by a 5 year old!