Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@lucysmam what pattern are you using? If you can link it for me I can see if I can help

It's the attic24 snowflake one you linked for me. In my head it makes sense but actually making it is baffling me!

For your first round you put the stitches into the inner hole of the ring not through the chain stitches that you made to form the ring.

If you want me to I'll start a thread in arts and crafts to post photos rather than derail this thread.

Aaah ok, I'll try that and let you know if I need pics if that's ok? I don't think I helped myself mis-counting the points; there are six not five 🤦‍♀️

Woolly, that really helped! I now have the first round completed

Brilliant I have actually got some old vases from IKEA that look perfect for the job. If it doesn't work for Christmas at least I should have some flowers for January.

I've planted some narcissus today in a shallow trough and put it in the garage. I've read an article on soaking bulbs in warm water for 12 hours so I've put 10 in a jug of warm water and will plant tomorrow to see what difference it makes.
Loads of glitter arrived today for frosting the wooden decorations. And more glass beads seeing as I haven't found the ones I lost.

I'm in for a poncey Christmas.
Christmas cake fruit is now soaking in lots of booze. I'm planting my indoor hyacinths in those old fashioned glass jelly-moulds this weekend and my pine cones are drying by the fire to be made into a wreath.
Love this thread- it's THE perfect comfort read.

My narcissus bulbs just arrived in the post this morning, so will have to go away and properly read and absorb the growing instructions.

I met a friend in a cafe today and handed over some plain IKEA baubles that we had kicking about in the loft from another project. She is turning them into crochet baubles, so hoping there might be one for our tree

I’ve been doing some charity shop mooching and picked up some slightly blingtastic kitsch bits. Must stop browsing.

Not sure where the bambis are going yet or what to put in the rose bowl.

My excuse is I was looking for Delia’s Happy Christmas

@Canklesforankles, there's one for £4.11 with free postage on eBay.

Have just ordered an eBay one. Thanks nowordforfluffy

Cankles I really like the deer! & you've reminded me about my stag candle holders - might find those out tomorrow.

The candlesticks are a bit beauty and the beast but will look different in December with candles and greenery.

@Canklesforankles loving them all! Fill the rose bowl with sweets or pine cones and dress the candle thingy all festive.

Saw a recipe for marmalade gin, wondered would it work with crabapple jelly, I shall report back.

I’m soaking my dried fruit to make my Christmas cake. Am going to try and make my own sweet mincemeat, using Delia’s recipe. Everyone is so talented.

Very jealous of your finds @Canklesforankles

Filtered the gingerbread gin and the clementine gin today. Both taste fantastic!
I'm leaving the blackberry whisky till Xmas as everywhere I read says the longer the better.
I have lots of chilies to collect from my plants in the garden. Any idea of what to do with them? I might put some in sausage rolls as I saw someone did previously here. But what else? I'm the only one that eats chutney and still have some from last year.

You could dry the chillis and use on things like Christmas wreath.

Okay, officially joining for the first time in years as we are actually going to be at home for Christmas so I plan to get my ponce on.

So many possibilities, only 9 and a bit weeks to go.

I'm also hosting parents for Christmas dinner with one hob, small oven and tiny fridge freezer. It is going to be a challenge.

Bring it!

Just on the chillies, they freeze really well while in a freezer bag and just take out and use as you would normally when you need to. I have a bag full of them as it was a great year for chillies here. Might try a chilli jam but haven't looked at a recipe yet.

@KinkyDoritowithsparkleson definitely doable. Do you have a slow cooker and a microwave? You could manage everything by using your slow cooker to make red cabbage (if you eat it) on the day before Christmas Eve - store in the fridge and ding it on the day. Ham in the slow cooker on Christmas Eve, store in the fridge then slice and gently heat through in gravy on the day. Turkey crown in the oven until cooked. Parboil spuds while the turkey is cooking and stick them in the oven when the turkey is resting. Cook your sprouts on the hob and make your gravy in the saucepan you cooked your spuds in. You could save a saucepan and get the microwave in the bag sprouts. Assuming you have 2 shelves in your oven you could have your roasties on one shelf and pigs in blankets and stuffing on the other.

Christmas pudding goes in the slow cooker to steam.

It will probably be cold enough to put drinks outside your back door/on a balcony/in the garage to save on fridge space.

This is a cracking chilli jam recipe.

We've got loads of chillies in the freezer plus more still ripening. I need to harvest the birds eye ones and freeze them too. I'm hoping the few successful Scotch Bonnet ripen for a final batch of chilli jam.

I've just ordered a muslin to strain my raspberry vodka. I got a few more berries from the allotment today so the boozy ones will go with them to make jam.