How to buy a 4 year old boy Christmas presents he actually likes

[Squashpocket]

Looking for tips to avoid spending a small fortune on disappointing tat lol.

My eldest DS is nearly 4. Last Christmas was the first where he could properly ask Santa for specific presents. So when asked to write his Santa letter, he asked for some massive paw patrol tower thing. Presumably he saw it on a tv advert and at the time he was into Paw Patrol in a big way, so it was waiting for him on Christmas morning. When he opened it he wasn't overly bothered with it and it's never been played with since. I asked him at one point a few months later why he'd asked for it and he said he 'couldn't think of anything else to ask for'. It cost a bloody fortune, I could have wept.

I would very much like to avoid this scenario again this year. I get the feeling he doesn't really know what he wants - everything he asks for is based on what he was playing with in the last half an hour. I obviously know what toys he will actually play with in the long run, but they wont generate any excitement on Xmas morning because he doesn't know what they are and he didn't ask for them.

What do you all do? Buy them what they ask for even if it's bound to be disappointing? Buy what you know is good for them? A mixture?

Sea Monkeys

Ok, why sea monkeys?

I ask DS5 what he'd like. Occasionally he'll say something specific but more often he'll say he doesn't know and I'll ask if he would like me to choose some things he'd like. This works pretty well so far!

When my DD was 4 she asked for “a yo-yo and some smarties” 😂

DS1 is very good at stating with absolute certainty that he wants xyz, but I know it's just a random passing thought. Like for his birthday he asked for curtains for his bedroom because he overheard me saying I'd seen some in the shop that matched his bedsheets. Which is great, but if that had been his main birthday present I know he would have been disappointed. We got him them though and a couple of exciting bits of plastic tat as well (which he never looks at).

I will suggest to him that I help him choose a few things, that's a good idea thanks.

My DS will be just turned 5 this Xmas and he is similar I think in that he doesn't get excited about much and will also say the thing he wants is what he had just been playing with!

We have usually bought him bits and pieces from charity shops that I thought he might like. Then if he does great, if not they go back to the charity shop and we've only spent a tiny amount of money which was a charitable donation . (We're not totally tight though, he did fall in love with a big Disney Cars truck with all the little cars in the Disney Store a few days before Xmas last year and we bought it for him when he wasn't looking, he still plays with them a lot)

I think I mean you don't need to spend a lot of money to feel like they're getting something good. What about some slime? ('oh, naughty Santa has brought you some slime when mummy hates it because it's soo messy!') surely all kids love slime?

Oh, and last year his favourite present was one of those penguin slides which has been played with loads considering it is pretty much the dictionary definition of plastic tat! It was a saviour during lockdown! His baby brother loved it too!

DD is 6 and honestly she'd like any toy for a few minutes but she is still completely incapable of fixing her mind on a set, specific thing that she really really wants as a big present. She just names whatever she's seen or done last.

We know what she likes based on what she plays with the most, what grasps her attention and what she keeps coming back to.

She's getting a baby doll that talks, cry's, eats.......all that annoying noisy stuff this year as well as a high chair and nice wooden rocking crib for it. We got it all in sales over the last few months so all in its come to around £50.

Then she'll have some little bits to occupy Xmas day and Boxing Day like activity books, puzzles, a board game.

Don't give open choices.

Pick some toys you know he'll like/enjoy and get him to pick from those. Eg a wishlist in Amazon or some cut out pictures or whatever.

I would just keep observing what he is playing with or is showing an interest and nearer the time maybe casually suggest a few things - toys that are more classic and not likely to be advertised on telly.
For example if he is always playing with Hot Wheels Cars (and he might see advertising for one of those large sets they churn out every year but are actually a bit rubbish) casually try to bring in a suggestion when he is playing like "your car collection is getting really big now - wouldn't it be great to have a nice garage for them to visit and park in".
Or if there is something you think he might like you could point it out in a shop or online and say something like "Oh wow I had a toy like this when I was little - I played with it all the time" and see what the reaction is (ie "wow mum that looks brilliant" or a Not
Interested face !)
Another idea is go to a toy shop (with the excuse of buying a gift for a friend or something) and just see where his eyes go.

I'd say at that age I'd most pick what I knew/thought they'd like. We were always very clear that they could ask but Father Christmas decides (v important as they were fickle as fuck and would think nothing about rewriting their list 2 days before Christmas ).

The worst year was the one when ds2was obsessed with the idea of a texta puppy which cost a fortune and had review after review saying they were basically shit and stopped working after about 5 min. I just couldn't bring myself to buy it and end up w floods of tears on Xmas day when it packed up - that year he got a scooter.

Things to unwrap. That’s what I remember most from Xmas was a big sack with lots and lots of things to unwrap. I remember boxes of Maltesers (still get them still from my parents and receive them with the same excitement), individually wrapped pots of play-doh, general ‘pocket money toys’, posters, novelty stationery, packets of sweets, baking sets, silly socks, new gloves, things he picks up in the run up to Xmas and asks for (things that aren’t crazy expensive) etc, a couple of novelty things that he’s into (this years version of paw patrol) with a couple of ‘big gift’ I.e scooter/bike/trampoline/skates/football goal that he’s going to use and something like a car garage/train set that’s large to unwrap - if it’s not a character/brand they’re not always crazy expensive.

Outside of lockdown see what he’s drawn to when he goes on play dates - is there a toy he always wants to play with when he goes to his cousins/friend/neighbour?

I’d always go on what he’s drawn to as he might not know what’s out there as there’s a reason why brands spend a fortune on happy kids saying ‘wow’ with special effects on TV.

The ones that have done the best are ones I remember having/playing with a friend's and wanting when I was little. One of those moving stairs with penguins going down a slide, a particular board game like hungry hippos or kerplunk, a cuddly toy always in stocking, one big thing like a Wendy house or bike or rocking horse.

You but them some things they ask for and some things you know they will play with. You’re possibly over thinking it!

Yes, definitely overthinking it, that would be my style! But, last year's Christmas morning was so sad I don't want a repeat.

@Minister01 thank you, that's really helpful. I think I'll go with something like that.

Weirdly I don't remember the vast majority of the presents I got as a child. I can remember being excited about getting one doll that I must have really wanted. Otherwise I can only remember the one or two times I was disappointed. God, aren't children little buggers sometimes.

I always said to mine that whilst they could ask father Christmas for what they would like, but he might give them a gift that he thought they would like more.
I often found however at that age they really wanted small things. A red tractor Springs to mind for one of them. Probably cost a fiver and was played with for months.
Quality over quantity. A few well thought out gifts is better than hundreds of cheap tat as they almost get bored opening it and then it often isn't played with, not to mention having to put it all somewhere.

I think we have all been there - stressing about getting the desired/trendy toy then it's the box or a cheap stocking filler is the biggest hit!

I think for that age stick to what you think will be played with or think he will like and maybe get 1 thing closer to the time they say they want.

I have to admit now my son is 7 this is the first year I've felt confident about pre empting things he wants because he has very consistent and long term interests now, generally anything gaming lol. Hes been very vocal about some things he would like this year such as a switch, which we have managed to secure for his birthday! So hopefully what he wants for xmas ties in with that like a specific game x

The best thing my then 4 year-olds got for Christmas was their own sellotape dispenser. It’s used every day! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Best gift that my son absolutely loved when he was 4 years old was marble run- still love it now 2 years later.:)

My daughter who was 4 last year did that. Asked Santa for Kindi Kids shop & dolls, got them but was suitably unimpressed and left to gather dust. This year going to get her what I know she loves to play with which is anything Sylvanian, books or jigsaws.

My eldest will be 6 this Christmas and is the opposite knows what he wants and never deviates. Requested the Lego fire tower last year, bought it, returned to shop as thought he would prefer the playmobil police station instead. He was visibly disappointed however said nothing and was very gracious but said days later how could Santa get it wrong. . He still mentions it now, and as requested again will be getting it.

If you buy the Penguin Race make sure you buy one without sound ! It’s been a huge hit in our house.
The “music” will drive you crazy otherwise !
I bought this one Ebay
I am sure others are available but difficult to find without noise .

Oh and not quite 4 year old adores Dobble .
We play the adult version and she can beat me !
Her 8 year old sister just received the waterproof version for her birthday and loves it .

I always buy the "requested" branded plastic toys off ebay. It's so much cheaper and sometimes they are so poorly designed and difficult to play with that they don't get much action anyways (looking at you, Octonauts!).

I buy presents off eBay/gumtree because if it doesn’t get played with then it doesn’t matter! Then I buy other presents that I think they’ll like.

@doodlejump1980 - perfect! I remember DS finding one in my office and ‘playing’ with it for ages. He gloated to DD that it was his best toy. Sometimes less is best at that age - unfortunately plastic tat is the most popular. If they play with it for half an hour it’s a success.

My 4 year old is really into playmobil at the moment.