How to buy a 4 year old boy Christmas presents he actually likes

[Squashpocket]

Looking for tips to avoid spending a small fortune on disappointing tat lol.

My eldest DS is nearly 4. Last Christmas was the first where he could properly ask Santa for specific presents. So when asked to write his Santa letter, he asked for some massive paw patrol tower thing. Presumably he saw it on a tv advert and at the time he was into Paw Patrol in a big way, so it was waiting for him on Christmas morning. When he opened it he wasn't overly bothered with it and it's never been played with since. I asked him at one point a few months later why he'd asked for it and he said he 'couldn't think of anything else to ask for'. It cost a bloody fortune, I could have wept.

I would very much like to avoid this scenario again this year. I get the feeling he doesn't really know what he wants - everything he asks for is based on what he was playing with in the last half an hour. I obviously know what toys he will actually play with in the long run, but they wont generate any excitement on Xmas morning because he doesn't know what they are and he didn't ask for them.

What do you all do? Buy them what they ask for even if it's bound to be disappointing? Buy what you know is good for them? A mixture?

My ds is nearly 5, he has always had strong likes so been easy to buy for. At 3 it was dinosaurs, last year dragons and hot wheel cars. He got playmobil dragons and the most played with toy from last year has been the magformers I got for him to share with dd. Not asked for but they like making things.
I have tried to avoid fad toys , or buy colouring books, drinks bottles , lunch boxes, towels of favourite characters rather than the actual toys . Have done this with paw patrol and my little pony, disney princess. It means less plastic tat and more useful things ,and they seem happy enough.

I dunno OP, my son also has the Paw Patrol tower and he’s spent most of the week playing with a potato 🤷‍♀️

Ime There’s a clear distinction between what dc ask for and what they actually play with so I split my budget accordingly.

Like pps I’m not averse to getting their heart’s desire from eBay/ local selling pages if it suits my budget. I’ve always hyped up the excitement about Santa’s surprises, eg stuff I’ve bought with an eye to their developmental stage and extending their ability to play quietly and independently.

If you can try and steer clear of advertisements. The actual toy is always a grave disappointment by comparison.

Ask teachers, or nursery staff for suggestions or play date parents.

When mine are in toy shops/supermarkets or passing window displays and they have an “I want” moment we take a picture of the item. It saves my wallet and sanity and it’s also handy for emailing suggestions to family who ask. A slow wander through a toy shop can be very informative!

But I filter their interests and choices, and without fail, so far, the gifts I’ve chosen for them have been played with far longer than the tat they pick. A useful rule of thumb is to pick toys that can be used in more than five ways. Anything that has a single function won’t hold interest for very long.

At that age ( my youngest is a year older) I tend to buy a few things I suspect they will like and then a few things they ask for.

I also always do a few ‘naughty’ presents that they think I wouldn’t allow - so for example a can of coke was a huge hit! This year I may do chewing gum 🤣. And possibly a £5 note as my youngest seems to find actual money very grown up.

My eldest’s favourite at that age was also a big load of different coloured sellotape . This year I’m getting my youngest some themed plasters as he has a weird love for playing with them and was very excited when I gave him a pack of boring boots own ones. They also seem to love any stationary/art sets.

Santa doesn’t bring the “big present” in my house.

The Christmas list isn’t an order form, it’s requests/suggestions and they might get some things from it - manage expectations! Santa decides what to bring, it isn’t like ordering from Amazon

So, Santa brings a stocking full of small bits (sweets, a book, bath toys, slime, small figures, character socks etc - lots of exciting little things to open) and one present that sits on the end of the bed. In your situation Santa might have brought a Paw Patrol playset but a smaller one (or second hand) rather than the huge expensive tower.

Then our present is the big one that we know they will love and get use out of - dolls house, scooter, marble run or whatever.

When they’re under about 8, it’s definitely the excitement of opening lots of presents rather than Santa bringing exactly what they wanted that matters in my experience.

What about having him write Santa a list of things he likes to do? Eg ‘I like to draw, play in the garden, build towers, etc.’

Then you could make a big deal of the upcoming surprise in the lead up to Christmas, plus you get to pick things you know he’d like rather than something TV adverts have told him he wants.

I feel your pain. My son is 5 in November then it's Christmas, and I have no idea what to get him let alone tell other people! He doesn't really play with toys as such. He loves lego, play doh and play sand and crafts and we have loads of all of those things lol I'm dreading all the tat that he's not going to play with appearing

@Heartofglass12345

I feel your pain. My son is 5 in November then it's Christmas, and I have no idea what to get him let alone tell other people! He doesn't really play with toys as such. He loves lego, play doh and play sand and crafts and we have loads of all of those things lol I'm dreading all the tat that he's not going to play with appearing

How about experiences instead of things? Tickets to Legoland, a course of trampolining lessons, subscription to a craft box?

Good ideas @Grrretel thanks 😊

The other day under the pretense of a quiz I got my son to list a whole bunch of his favourites ie. Games, characters, sweets, toys, music, movies, colours, things to make/build, sports, places he likes to go to... a massive list.
He enjoyed it and I can use it for referrals. Nice easy way to establish likes and interests and let other people know the info too x

I just choose a present and then subtly plant the idea that he wants it. We watch a few reviews/unboxing videos on youtube and my husband or mum will casually point it out at other times. I usually wait until he seems really interested then ask what he would like for his birthday.

Following this as my DS will be 5 at Christmas and I'm stuck too!

He is getting a new scooter from us, a two wheeled micro, to replace his 3 wheeler which he's growing out off. That's the "big" present from us but as much as he'll love it and it'll get tons of use (and it's expensive!) I do understand from his perspective that essentially a replacement / upgrade isn't that exciting.

He's into transformers and octonauts but already has quite a few toys for the latter second hand, which do get played with consistently albeit sporadically. He has a good few transformer Rescue Bots toys, but I've got mixed feelings about getting him any more transformers as he seems quite specific about the ones he likes and also the quality of some look so flimsy/hard to transform. At the minute he says he'll ask Santa for some Octonauts gups but I'm sure that will change. I think I will definitely get him a Lego city set as he is really into transport too.

Last year he got way too many presents from everyone and as he has a Christmas birthday it was just ridiculous, too overwhelming for him, he was barely looking at the actual present as time went on and started acting so spoilt. So we are all going for fewer presents this year. His favourite presents from last year were these tiny Octonauts mini gups from the pound shop in his stocking, and two Rescue Bot figures which were about £10 each from Asda. Kids that age really don't need much!