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Original poster

Ufffff well that went well!

46 replies

Expo · 26/12/2019 17:47

Had family over for Xmas. 16 of them (including me and my 2 DC and 1 DP). There were 12 from 23-26 Dec and an additional 4 on 24-25 Dec. My DP was not very well so spent most of the time grumpy in bed. So I did pretty much everything. Cooked for 12 on 23rd. Organised for panto on 24th. Cooked for 16 on 24th. Sorted all beds and sleeping - many blow up mattresses. Then my BIL decided he couldn’t sleep with my DS in his room with his kids and took the downstairs room I wanted to put three of the other kids in....so they ended in my room with my sick grumpy DP. Then cooked full turkey dinner for 16 Xmas day. Did many dishwasher fills and empties at 6am. Cooked breaskfast every morning - porridge, everyone wanted different eggs etc. Today Boxing Day and I had to do my tax return with my dad as he is a retired accountant. After cooking cake pops with my DD and her cousins I nipped in the shower, put two pieces of gammon on for lunch and sat with dad. I heard the buzzer go and was switched off and assumed everybody was tucking into the gammon. Went to kitchen after tax return. DM and my DS mother-in-law (yep had whole family!) we’re watching tv after eating a tin of soup. They had simply switched the gammon off, left it in the saucepan and ate soup. My kids were hungry. DS kids hungry. I burst into tears. Just didn’t know what to say. Gammon was simply floating in the saucepan in the water uneaten. Then I was accused of making a fuss. Old family story came to bear. Am exhausted. Everyone has left so have done the rubbish. Taken all beds down and washing. DP went home this morning before everyone woke. Have hit the Wine. Sympathy please.....or did I make a fuss. Jeez

OP posts:
EL8888 · 26/12/2019 17:50

They sound lazy and thoughtless. It’s impressive they couldn’t even be bothered getting the gammon out of the pan. I assume they knew it wD there? I would down tools at this point and ask who is doing it all next year as it won’t be you

Original poster
Expo · 26/12/2019 17:58

@EL888 ah thanks. Yes they knew it was in the pan for lunch. My mum or sisters mum in law switched it off - don’t know which. They just left both pieces in there floating and started watching tv. It’s fine - I came and did it. But no word of oh sorry. They just ignored me. Anyway the problem is I like it all to be perfect for them all. But yes that took the biscuit today :-(

OP posts:
dottydaily · 26/12/2019 21:12

Well done you..it’s a lot of work..I think when everything is done well it looks easy so people don’t help cos it looks like all was in control,,you deserve a medal..I had 7people for Christmas...am extremely tired now..but everything went really well...

roisinagusniamh · 26/12/2019 21:17

Why did you do all that work ?

Lc2006 · 26/12/2019 21:20

Wow there was only 7 of us for both days and I'm shattered how on earth did you manage all that single handedly Shock. You deserve the wine (lots of it!!) and I hope someone else is taking a turn next year.

You did really well, try and have a relaxing weekend

Khione · 26/12/2019 21:28

Write it all down and put a reminder on your calendar to read what you have written in August/September/October --- whatever month you normally start making plans for Christmas. And then plan a lovely peaceful Christmas on your own, or just with people who you really want to be with.

When they ask - you can tell them honestly that they fucked up last year so they are not invited. Whenever they start to minimise reread what you have written and stay firm

ritzbiscuits · 26/12/2019 21:45

Bless you, you poor thing. I'd feel so upset if this had happened to me. 💐

Take a deep breath and try to plan something nice with your children over the coming days. I hope you can try your best to put it behind you and still have some good times this Christmas

zasknbg · 26/12/2019 21:47

Fucking hell
Don't do that again
Your house sounds like a hotel

HomeAlone39 · 26/12/2019 21:50

Holy shit! Sounds like you were singlehandedly running a fancy b&b for the last few days! A little appreciation, in fact a lot, would be deserved. Enjoy your wine and try to forget about the restWine

Queenest · 26/12/2019 21:57

Make this the last year OP. Do something different last year. Spend the good no thanks on a fab theatre show, a cottage in Cornwall or something similar.

Queenest · 26/12/2019 21:58

Hmm NOT Good no thanks - spend the food money

Weenurse · 26/12/2019 22:02

Lazy sods, do not do this next year

bigchris · 26/12/2019 22:02

Martyrdom at its best !

Different eggs Grin

Just leave out cereal and a loaf of bread !

Wildorchidz · 26/12/2019 22:07

More fool you to do all that.

HomeAlone39 · 26/12/2019 22:08

martrydom at it's best nope, I don't think that's fair. Ok so the eggs is probably a bit much. But should they have cooked their own dinner too? Made their own beds? Should she tell her elderly father to stick his tax returns?

Queenest · 26/12/2019 22:22

The key is to learn from it, don’t go there again. Hope you have a more relaxing few days ahead.

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 26/12/2019 22:33

martrydom at it's best nope, I don't think that's fair. Ok so the eggs is probably a bit much. But should they have cooked their own dinner too? Made their own beds? Should she tell her elderly father to stick his tax returns?

I think her dad was helping her with her tax return.

I agree there is a touch of the martyr - nobody made the OP have that many guests for so many days. I think she made the mistake many people make by trying to be a perfect host and then being upset when it is not appreciated or no help is forthcoming, and guests are expected to know what should be done, even though they are not asked to do anything.

Jinglebella123 · 26/12/2019 22:33

Just don’t get it, why put yourself through all that?...send ecards and save planet, agree not to buy presents accept for kids, limit relies as no one wants to spend all day with them (if everyone is honest) keep meals simple it doesn’t really matter....dont be a martyr (spelling?), Glad its all over dec coming down tomorrow and hopefully;;y no relatives until next year . Hip hip hooray.

Original poster
Expo · 27/12/2019 04:23

Thanks for the messages. Fell asleep exhausted and now woken in the early hours going over the whole thing. I really wanted the whole family together because my Dad has a stroke 2 months ago (he has recovered enough to sit and help me with my tax return which also makes him proud) and I just wanted a big family Xmas together. And it was nice. It was just a lot of work. The gammon was the straw that broke the camels back. Firstly because it is expensive! I bought all the food for the 3 days. And secondly because people were hungry! It was like I couldn’t even have an hour to do my tax return (as if that is a joy!!!). Anyway my DS gave me a massive hug and completely understood. And today my DD, DS and I are off to see Star Wars!!! Thanks everyone x

OP posts:
00100001 · 27/12/2019 05:21

If there are 16 people, you need to
simplify things. Eg breakfast is bread and cereals, milk, yogurt, fruits. Etc all on the side.... And everyone sorts themselves out. Everyone rinses bowls/plates etc and either stacks by dishwasher or loads direct into it.

Also, everyone makes their needs each morning.

Give people jobs to do on a rota if needed. Eg. Tea maker, kitchen helper, etc

Pixxie7 · 27/12/2019 06:09

I am completely in awe of anyone who cooks Christmas dinner for that many, let alone the rest.
Have a well deserved rest.

kevintheorangecarrot · 27/12/2019 06:15

This is why I never have family over. Just the 3 of us (my DS, DH and I).

BrutusMcDogface · 27/12/2019 06:40

Most people’s families (surely?!) would all muck in, wouldn’t they? My family and my partner’s family wouldn’t dream of just letting one person (one woman, let’s be honest 🙄) do all of the work. Everyone would mill around and get stuff done. Shocking behaviour from your relatives.

I agree; do not do that again!!

On another note, I’m glad your dad is recovering well 💐

Squashpocket · 27/12/2019 06:49

Knjujki

eaglejulesk · 27/12/2019 06:51

I'm exhausted just by reading it all. Don't blame you for hitting the Wine - have another one!