Ufffff well that went well!

[Expo]

Had family over for Xmas. 16 of them (including me and my 2 DC and 1 DP). There were 12 from 23-26 Dec and an additional 4 on 24-25 Dec. My DP was not very well so spent most of the time grumpy in bed. So I did pretty much everything. Cooked for 12 on 23rd. Organised for panto on 24th. Cooked for 16 on 24th. Sorted all beds and sleeping - many blow up mattresses. Then my BIL decided he couldn’t sleep with my DS in his room with his kids and took the downstairs room I wanted to put three of the other kids in....so they ended in my room with my sick grumpy DP. Then cooked full turkey dinner for 16 Xmas day. Did many dishwasher fills and empties at 6am. Cooked breaskfast every morning - porridge, everyone wanted different eggs etc. Today Boxing Day and I had to do my tax return with my dad as he is a retired accountant. After cooking cake pops with my DD and her cousins I nipped in the shower, put two pieces of gammon on for lunch and sat with dad. I heard the buzzer go and was switched off and assumed everybody was tucking into the gammon. Went to kitchen after tax return. DM and my DS mother-in-law (yep had whole family!) we’re watching tv after eating a tin of soup. They had simply switched the gammon off, left it in the saucepan and ate soup. My kids were hungry. DS kids hungry. I burst into tears. Just didn’t know what to say. Gammon was simply floating in the saucepan in the water uneaten. Then I was accused of making a fuss. Old family story came to bear. Am exhausted. Everyone has left so have done the rubbish. Taken all beds down and washing. DP went home this morning before everyone woke. Have hit the . Sympathy please.....or did I make a fuss. Jeez

I can't believe they let you make up that many beds, the lazy sods!!
You are superwoman but also a bit bonkers to spend xmas doing that much work. Where do you get the energy from? Learn to delegate is my advice :)

Don't host next year.

How much time did you get with your DC?

Did anyone offer to bring food, help with prepping food?

We have never done a big family Christmas like that, and would hate the stress of it, but if we were invited to something like that I can’t imagine not offering to bring a food contribution, helping out.

Unless you really enjoy doing it the answer is to ask people to sign up to jobs in advance. Making/stripping their own beds. Contribute to dishwasher (even if not stacked as you like/things not put away where you want). Doing prep of food etc. It can be a Social and chatting activity. Otherwise they will just accept you doing it. Those who you know will not help (PIL I’m looking at you) then get them to contribute but bringing something. Share the load

You're amazing OP and I can quite understand why you'd want to have family over after your Dad was poorly

Lots of love to you and your Dad

Your relatives are a disgrace ..you should of given everyone jobs to do

I read somewhere on another thread that
Christmas falls into 2 camps.

Those that strive to create the 'magic' & do everything.

And those that take, take, take & do absolutely nothing.

It sounds pretty awful but you only have yourself to blame. You sound useless at delegating. Why weren’t the other adults making up the beds for themselves and their kids? Why on earth were you cooking breakfast for everyone?! Just tell them to help themselves to toast and cereal next time.

What a lot of selfish bastards! My family would never sit there watching one person do everything you did. Tell them to fuck off next year

I feel you, my house is a tip and I haven’t relaxed at all. It has been stressful and ruined by certain people. I won’t be hosting them again. I can not wait for Saturday when they go

@ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse omg Saturday. Hats off to you

Thanks Expo and like some of your guests mine have been here since Christmas Eve. I hope you enjoy the cinema because you deserve it.

Most people’s families (surely?!) would all muck in, wouldn’t they?
Exactly this. My experience of my own and DH family is that everyone mucks in. No one would dream of sitting round letting one person wait on 16 people. They behaved disgracefully.

And anyone coming to my house and maintaining that they couldn't possibly sleep where I had allocated them to sleep, and hoicking themselves off to another room would have been put in a tent in the garden.

How DARE they!

And I'd have sent DP home too, if they were just going to lie in bed all the time being grumpy.

You stay at someone's house , you help out. End of. You poor thing. Daring to ask for different eggs. What any decent person says is "let's just have one type and make it easier"

It sounds like there were a few families there. Each one could have at least taken over the cost, prep and clean up of one meal, even if only a breakfast.

And, I understand you wanting to have family around but you also had your sister's MiL, if I read correctly?

No reason they couldn't have been given bedding and sent to make up their own beds, and stripped them afterwards.

They sound incredibly lazy and thoughtless, us you allowed them to be, OP.

us=but

The day has finally arrived. I get my house back in few hours and can tidy up. I can’t wait.

Does your DP have form for "strategic illnesses" OP?

Funny StCharlotte that's exactly what I was thinking when I read the OP. Very convenient time to take to your bed

@StCharlotte @kingkuta ahhh no he was genuine. Had that vomiting bug that seems to be spreading through Europe!