DD doesn't like Christmas dinner

[JustaScratch]

We are spending Christmas with PiLs. MiL is very traditional housewife type who goes to loads of trouble and puts on a big spread, even though it's just three of us going plus her and FiL.

DD, age 6, while not a particularly fussy eater, doesn't enjoy anything in the traditional Christmas dinner (roasted meats, crispy potatoes, boiled veg). I'm trying to decide whether just to give her a small plate and ignore whether she doesn't eat any of it, or prepare her something else as surely she deserves to have food she likes on Christmas Day? Oh also, I am a vegetarian so I also won't be eating the turkey but MiL is doing it because it's what FiL wants.

I've volunteered to make breakfast which will be DDs favourite.

WWYD?

Just let her share the traditional family meal and eat what she can of it. It is OK to not always like everything, it is good childrearing practice to inculcate good manners and let her develop the skills of good grace and tact when at someone else's table. Life is really not about having ones tastes and preferences indulged at every turn. There will be so many parts to the day that she will love.

Similar thing here - my 8yo ate pigs in blankets and a parsnip... I don't make a fuss and the other adults follow my lead and we just carry on and enjoy our meal. She had a double serving of Christmas pudding to make up for it!!

It's fine. I hate children being forced to eat. My son ate meat, broccoli, roasties and a Yorkshire pudding. I only make the Yorkshire puddings to bulk put his plate. He stayed at the table and chatted while we at far more.

Yesterday mine ate, pigs in blankets a roast potato and one had some brussels plus a Yorkshire pudding. It's fine, that's all they wanted. It's just one day.

Oh well, did she eat pudding? My dd hated Christmas lunch when she was 6. Likes it now but won’t eat potatoes.

DS5 is exactly the same.

I make him have a small dinner but don't make a fuss about it being eaten. I find most hosts make more of a fuss about accommodating him than me. When someone said 'well she can't not eat can she?' Well yes - she can not eat - DS ate next to fuck all yesterday and it's all his own fault there was more than plenty available.

Loving all the smugness and parent blaming though. If you haven't got a fussy child you just haven't got a fussy child. It's not because of your superior parenting skill.

Is that all you're having, three potatoes?

Yeah she's not as greedy as you FIL. head tilt

Little children just eat differently I think - dd1 is just becoming more adult in her eating (ie trying new things without assuming they are yucky) at 11. Although she's still a salad dodger.

Interestingly though earlier in the thread you said she didn't like potatoes 😂😂🤷🏻‍♀️. That's my total experience of child eating, it changes in a daily basis and it's why deciding they don't like stuff (and therefore stopping giving it to them) is a bad idea.

You're right teatea - she had earlier said she was looking forward to the cauliflower cheese (MiL's random Christmas tradition!), but wouldn't go near it, and also decided against the carrots at the last minute as well. We made her scrambled eggs on toast about 6pm. It was fine. She's not usually a very picky eater, I just think she was a bit hyped up and it wasn't really her cup of tea. She did sit with us for the meal though, pulled crackers, told jokes and invented a silly numbers game. That was more important for me.

I may be old-fashioned but I was taught you ate what you were given and shut up. No parent I know would have indulged such bad behaviour - which basically perpetuates it and encourages it by pandering to it, would have told her to eat some of it or go hungry. End of story. You aren't doing her any favours by spoiling her and letting her dictate what she will eat on Christmas day. She eats what the rest of you eat, or nothing at all. End of story. This is what I mean about permissive parenting and lax discipline standards simply raising a generation of kids who do want they want and call the shots. I was not pandered to, no way in hell would my parents allow me to be so badly behaved I whinge because I want something else. Neither did I pander to my children like that, they knew to shut up, behave and eat what they're given. Because I did not allow or offer my children any alternative.

Neither of my older dc like roast dinners. They are served a smallish christmas dinner and eat/leave whatever they like. I wouldn’t make them a separate meal.
We’ve done this for years and they know to sit politely at the table then fill up on pudding and chocolate and cheese!
I think you handled it well, OP.

Well done OP .
I think Teatea has hit the nail on thwe head !
Very interesting that she ate the one thing you said she didnt like.
Parents often get very bogged down with likes/dislikes and tell everyone what DC will eat.
Lose the anxiety and put food on the table, thats the way to avoid entrenched fussiness.

DD has always hated every item on a Sunday dinner. Eats ok most of the time but loathes a dinner. I swear we can’t be related as as a child it was my absolute fave! One year for Xmas she had tinned ravioli as per her request. I feel your pain OP.