DD doesn't like Christmas dinner

[JustaScratch]

We are spending Christmas with PiLs. MiL is very traditional housewife type who goes to loads of trouble and puts on a big spread, even though it's just three of us going plus her and FiL.

DD, age 6, while not a particularly fussy eater, doesn't enjoy anything in the traditional Christmas dinner (roasted meats, crispy potatoes, boiled veg). I'm trying to decide whether just to give her a small plate and ignore whether she doesn't eat any of it, or prepare her something else as surely she deserves to have food she likes on Christmas Day? Oh also, I am a vegetarian so I also won't be eating the turkey but MiL is doing it because it's what FiL wants.

I've volunteered to make breakfast which will be DDs favourite.

WWYD?

My dd is really fussy too and is one of the reasons we stay at home, though I still cook a Christmas dinner at home, she will eat roast potatoes and Yorkshire pudding so that’s all she has. Surely there will be bread in the house? Cheese? My dd often just has bread and cheese when we go to peoples houses 🤣, I’m sure something can be found that she will eat.

I remember one year that I only had yorkshires and roasties as I hated everything else. I eat it all now. I think your plan is good, have a backup just in case and try her with a small plate of food. I know as MIL I would be happy to add one thing she likes on. Which is why my Christmas dinner this year has different veg to usual as my nephews hate carrots, parsnips and sprouts.

I can’t stand the way people are with food. She’s 6 years old and will need to eat during the day. I would be horrified if anyone came to my house and didn’t eat because they didn’t like something. I’d rather know so I can sort something for them.

We all have different tastes. I despise this expectation that anyone should eat what they don’t like., especially in an immediate family members home.

Could you suggest a couple of microwaveable dishes this mil could get that your daughter would eat?

Your kid doesn't eat any boiled veg?

There must be some vegetable that she will eat.
If she doesn't like roast potatoes, cut off the outside and let her eat the fluffy inside potato.

Shes 6, Its Christmas.
I would ask MIL to get her favourite thing.
It really isnt much effort.

Its one day and a special one.
Let her eat what she wants

I agree with @3littlemincemeatpies

Yes, she likes lots of veg but not the usual Christmas dinner staples (she likes tomatoes, broccoli, cucumber, onions, cauliflower, peppers). It's just carrots and sprouts that get the 'disgusting' face.

At the least this thread has made me feel justified in thinking about this!

Ask if they can have broccoli and cauliflower, we have broccoli with our Christmas dinner as no one likes sprouts.

Its dd's christmas dinner too she should have something she likes to eat as will everyone else

I have a 6, 8 and 10 year old and none of them are particularly bothered by a traditional roast. I expect them to sit and eat with the rest of family, and make sure I give each larger portions of the bits of the roast they prefer/tolerate (eg roast potatoes for one, stuffing for another). Are there parts of a roast that your dd likes more? Also, she can always fill up on pudding!

@edgewater I agree! I was a fussy child and lots of foods really made me gag and feel sick and being forced to eat it or go hungry made meal times so bloody stressful. A 6 year old not wanting to eat Christmas dinner isnt rude or a referendum on your cooking skills, it’s just life! Stick an oven pizza or some fish fingers in the oven and let everyone enjoy themselves.

I wouldn't do her something different.

Probably she'll have been eating before dinner anyway, just let her have the bits she wants and pudding.

I really am baffled that food is such a big highlight of a fussy child's Christmas that they have to have a meal they love.

Yes, she likes lots of veg but not the usual Christmas dinner staples (she likes tomatoes, broccoli, cucumber, onions, cauliflower, peppers). It's just carrots and sprouts that get the 'disgusting' face

So why not just ask MIL to do broccoli and cauliflower? Do people really just have carrots and sprouts for Christmas dinner?

Im with @3littlemincemeatpies
Just give her a chance to try it instead of rushing out in a foreign country at Christmas to buy something else.
No wonder there are so many fussy eaters !

My dd has sensory issues and can’t just eat to be polite so we have to take a different approach. If she tries she gags and causes a scene. It’s more polite for her to decline.

For single meals, I feed her before we attend, let her eat whatever bits she wants from the meal served, which might be nothing, and then have as much dessert as she wants. She understands that she shouldn’t comment on the lack of food available for her.

For longer visits, I can’t just feed her before or after, so I have to insist there is something available for her to eat.

That sounds really tough purple but it isn't the scenario here. If OP starts cooking pizza while MIL is serving up the Christmas dinner then that really would be ridiculous/ highly irritating.

Give the child her Christmas dinner, don't make a big deal out of it, let her have pudding and if the worst comes to the worst give her some toast.

Her daughter is looking forward to Christmas because of presents, she doesn't care about the Christmas dinner at all.

If you can make her what she likes. It's one day, all the Christmas cooks won't mind people eating what they actually like on this one day.

I hate all this ' good table mannere' ' make them eat it's etc. I'm getting it and I'm in my 50s !!!!! I've my inlaws telling me not to cook the foods I like and to just go with the boiled shite they like !!! I'll make their boiled shite too but I'm not going to force myself to eat something I don't like. I don't eat mash or roast potatoes and I'm not going to force myself to eat them, I hated them as a child. My sil is telling me to practice eating them !!! Like wtf !!!! If someone doesn't like a food then they are not going to suddenly love it because they were told to eat it.

They won't eat what I like, they're like..... brussel sprouts (((vomit))) mushy peas (((vomit)))) garlic potatoes.... who eats garlic potatoes on xmas day, then the roasting of carrots and parsnips !!! Well holy god, you'd think I was serving up cow shite !!!!! This is what I like, this is what I'll eat, there'll be plenty of boiled crap for them. I just don't get people trying to force foods upon people that they don't like.

You could always ask your mil to pick up some things ? Would she do this ?

It's one meal and i suspect she will be more interested in her toys than food. Give her a good breakfast, ask to have some vegetables she does like such as broccoli and cauliflower and dish it up a small portion with some turkey and potatoes. If she eats great, of not I'm sure she'll have some chocolate she would prefer. I don't think it sets a good example that she can have an alternative. It's a roast dinner and not as if you're asking her to eat something that's really adventurous.

We all have different tastes. I despise this expectation that anyone should eat what they don’t like., especially in an immediate family members home.

^I agree.

She ate three potatoes

My dc3 (8 nearly 9) doesn't like much of a traditional roast - he ate three pigs in blankets and carrots. Fortunately for me he never makes a fuss, just eats the elements of a meal he likes and chats. I cooked fortunately so there was no need for anyone to be personally offended. It's fine, he was happy, the five other people at the table enjoyed the meal and so did he in his way. It needn't be made into an issue.

Hope you all had a relaxed meal and nobody got worked up about her only wanting potatoes.

Yeah she ate 3 potatoes!!!

It's Christmas I hope they all went with the flow

FiL exclaimed, "Is that all you're having, three potatoes?" and I looked at him and said, "we're not going to give her a hard time about it, because it's Christmas Day." He grunted and carried on eating. It was fine.