Tricky people to buy for - solutions?

[Graphista]

Desperate for ideas!

My mum is impossible to buy for due to a combination of:

She's/they (her and dad) ok financially so if there's anything they want/need they just get it! This is nice for them as for many years they were counting pennies but it does make gift buying difficult

Health issues mean food treats, alcohol, perfumes and many toiletries, most jewellery are non starters

Caring responsibilities rule out things like theatre tickets or even vouchers for afternoon tea type things as she cares for my dad and if he is having a bad time she might not get out for several months.

I seem to end up getting the same generic stuff every year (gloves, scarves and similar) but I'm sure at this point she has tons that are barely used because all of us that get gifts for her end up getting similar things!

I'm debating trying to draw out of her where she gets her hair done and paying for a few visits or there's one place she goes with friends for lunch when she can and paying for that but I've no idea how to arrange that (independent place not voucher situation).

Flowers are really just more work for her and at this point they're rather associated too much with illness and bereavement for her.

And that's just mum!!

Dad is even harder as he's basically bedridden now, no longer reads or watches film/tv, mostly he sleeps and when he's awake just moans at mum.

So...if any gift geniuses can help? I'd love some ideas.

One I have toyed with is
Retro sweets which they can't have a lot of in one go because of health issues but I thought a wee taste of nostalgia? But I don't know who's good to get these from?

I'm not sure how tech savvy there are but could you get them set up with an smart tech to make your mums life a bit easier?

Eg an amazon Alexa set up with smart lights or the door bell or a coffee maker nana is in her 70s and loves stuff like this.

Failing that... a coffee machine!?

Sorry I think my phones going a bit funny as there were a few typos there!

Not sure how tech savvy they* are
Set up with any* smart tech
My* nana is in her 70s

Or again to make their life easier maybe some kind of subscription to Cook? They are fancy "ready meals", you can get them online or in Booths if you're up north like me.

Do you really have to get them anything? My mother didn't need anything so my last christmas gift to her was nicely framed photos of my wedding and of her grandkids. She really didn't want any more stuff.
Maybe you could pay for a hair dresser to come to her house? Or beautician?

I once got all our Christmas presents from Mr Sims sweets, for PILs we made up a jar of the most vintage sweets they had. It went down well IIRC.

She's actually VERY tech savvy and ahead of us on all that as that was her career background! She was programming computers before I was born and I'm almost 50! She buys us (the "kids" and grandkids) tech when it first comes out and teaches us how to use it.

Food - VERY fussy plus there are allergy & other health issues which means they really are safest off going completely from scratch. She's a fantastic cook who doesn't find it a chore.

Mr sims sweets are worth a look probably. They both reminisce more and more.

Hairdresser at house a no go as again health issues mean the special sinks at the hairdressers are even more necessary now.

She's quite fussy about hairdressers unfortunately her preferred one closed (lady retired) she's now found another she likes (not as much) but that's her one thing she does that's really just for her.

I'm sure she's told me name of place but I've bloody forgotten! Any wily ideas how I can find this out would be good.

i was considering a video/smart doorbell for parents. but complicated. instead i impulse bought them a fondue kit which i hope they will have fun with/my mum loves fondue she's an absolute cheese demon.

Yea it's getting to stage gifts are kinda pointless, sometimes mum will say "oh just get a card" but I know them and I know they'd be hurt if I didn't get them anything.

Not mr Sims but I've found a retro sweets gift box which would work as a joint gift (some are sweets mum likes some dad) I'm just trying to see if they deliver to an address other than billing address as that would be easier for me.

Any good gift company recommendations?

Vouchers/gift card also possibly an option but again I'd need to be able to order online and have delivered to their address not mine.

A little left field here but if they have everything they want / need could you maybe pay for a cleaner / gardener / someone to do the ironing to give your mother a bit of a break in those departments?

A magazine subscription? Lovely to have delivered to the door each month. Maybe a food type one as she is a good cook?

Similar situation here too @Graphista .

I've been toying with the idea of doing a hamper of essentials but with a luxury treat theme - for example, they love Heinz soup but usually buy supermarket own brand due to cost, unless Heinz is on offer...

Pretty sure my parents would appreciate this.

I'm still thinking though. I will add to this when I think of something relevant.

My aunt was in a similar situation. We bought her a subscription to Cheshire Life which she loved. They do most counties I think.

Monthly cheese delivery

Apple Pencil

A fiddle cube or spinner

Sweets from A Quarter Of

Echo Show

Cashmere wrist warmers

A bean bag filled lap tray

A yu yu hot water bottle

Cashmere bed socks for your dad

Does she read?

What about books that show the history of where they grew up?

Subscription to a magazine like national geographic or something that relates to your mums interests - cooking mag maybe?? If she's in all the time this could be a nice monthly treat. For your dad an audible subscription or voucher? He can just listen to stories or whatever he fancies. Your mom if she's tech savvy could show him how?

Something to break the day up for her would be nice. Something you can do together when you visit maybe??

Or perhaps (this is a bit left field) a PlayStation?? Could be a way to pass the time when always home?? I know it's not a traditional gift for an older person but it could be fun?? Could play the grandkids maybe?? Give some outside contact when always at home.

Good luck merry Christmas xx

Would they appreciate charity gifts? Village wells, cataract treatments, that type of thing.

Audio books for your dad, maybe loaded onto suitable tech for him?

On the independent place, call them and ask. I pre-paid a meal at a local pub as a gift one year, wasn’t something they usually did so they had a think, then just asked me to come in ahead of time and pay and told me to give the recipient the receipt as the “gift voucher”.

Something I do for friends with kids is a combined meal voucher and babysitting (as in, I give the voucher with a promise to babysit so they can use it). Could you do something similar for your mum and look after your dad so she can have a day out?

@vix17 getting help in is a major bone of contention! Mum could do with the help, dads convinced they’re all nosy thieves and con merchants! Don’t get me started!

Doesn’t read magazines

@benevolentezza I’ve done similar in the past but I don’t think it was particularly appreciated as I say they are generally able to buy what they want anyway

Wrist warmers might be an idea for mum!

Fussy reader she has certain authors she likes but she buys the bloody books before anyone can buy as gifts even if released near birthday/Christmas

Dad pretty much deaf and blind at this point so books and audio books no good.

Mum already plays “video games” as I said she’s way better on tech than us! Regularly thrashes the grandkids (she’s a terrible cheat and uses all the “hacks” 😂)

I’m housebound with own health issues so can’t give of my time unfortunately.

I am wondering about contacting one the friends she lunches with to arrange next time she goes it’s already paid. Just no idea when that will be!

Cook book?

I think it's about finding something interesting or innovative or a bit fun. Something to bring them some joy or memories at Christmas time.
Things I have done in the past - Christmas decorations they can use every year; a board game we can all play together at chrisrmas:; coloured fire cones for an interesting night by the fire; photo calendars of things we have done together or that the children have done

As she has grandchildren can you book a panto? Something every year so she can look forward to it?

If you go with wrist warmers, I can recommend turtle doves. Extra feel-good factor of them being recycled cashmere.

Panto no good, the grandkids are really too old for that now and she can't guarantee availability on a set date due to caring responsibilities.

Just had a reminder about Christmas grocery shop and I'm shitting myself it's Christmas next week and I've bought NOTHING!

Found a few ideas on Lakeland site for stocking fillers.

Trying not to panic!!