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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Gifts for DF to give to DM, no judging please...

182 replies

Courtney555 · 08/12/2019 06:41

Each year, DF has no clue (or time) to get DMs Christmas presents.

Standard procedure is that I'll investigate what she'd like on his behalf, and let him know. I then tend to go out and get it, and he reimburses me, more so he doesn't accidentally get the wrong thing (DM is very particular at times).

This year, I'm heavily pregnant with twins, and DM is keeping quiet...she says I should be relaxing, and she's interested to see what he gets her without my assistance. I understand where she's coming from, but I can answer that pretty easily... she'll get nothing. Not because DF is an arse, but because he honestly won't know where to start.

So. Given that she's not revealing anything, what would some lovely gifts be, that would look really thoughtful, or really well picked? Budget £300-400, 2 or 3 items.

Previous years have included:

Fairfax and Favour boots and handbag.
Jimmy Choo handbag (I think he was in the doghouse that year Xmas Grin )
Bread maker and Bread making course
Jewellery set
Perfume
Fitflop slippers
Ted Baker PJ's and dressing gown

She's early 60s. Very glam. Likes: Cooking. Skiing. Makeup (but this can be tricky, she's allergic to lots). Her two dogs. Country life.

Would not appreciate: Candles. Meal out/experience day. Undies or more nightwear.

Please no "useless DF" bashing. Thank you in advance!...

OP posts:
BeaLola · 08/12/2019 10:09

Can't help on boots or coats but seeing as they go away a lot what about a monogrammed vanity case ?
Different but special and useful and having it monogrammed makes it personal for her and the inside a favourite beauty product/perfume or booked treatment fir her favourite salon.

Does she like her garden - David Austin roses or perhaps an acer - something she likes - bench for two , small sculpture

Shouldbedoing · 08/12/2019 10:14

Sounds to me like she needs a Christmas volunteering at a homeless shelter - disclaimer, I only read the first page but she sounds very indulged and very picky.

Original poster
Courtney555 · 08/12/2019 10:24

Monogrammed case is an interesting curve ball...will have a look....

OP posts:
glitterbiscuits · 08/12/2019 10:41

Digital photo frame and old family pics loaded?

Anything crafty? Like a Tapestry kit?

Dovecote?

I think I'm sending you my list.

Whattodowithaminute · 08/12/2019 11:12

Is she a wine drinker? Coravin is a good piece of kit

WhereverIMayRoam · 08/12/2019 11:45

Something nice from Charlotte Tilbury/Laura Mercier, that type of brand especially if it comes in Liberty wrapping!
Expensive make up brushes
Cabin case/hand luggage from samsonite or similar
Cookery course

I wonder if it might be “safer” to go for a main gift plus two or three smaller items in the hope that some of them at least will look like he blundered into a nice department store by himself and asked for help Wink?

Greenglassteacup · 08/12/2019 11:51

She sounds very indulged, maybe a donation on her behalf to a charity because she probably has at least 2 of super fancy everything by now!

titchy · 08/12/2019 12:00

Look as your dm has specifically said she wants your df to choose and buy, why don't you do as she wishes. She may well feel very unhappy about how little he appears to know her and just once, would like some public demonstration of how much he cares about her.

That said, I get that you don't want her to go all diva-ish, so suggest half a dozen things to him, and then leave him to choose and source said gifts.

Ostanovka · 08/12/2019 12:07

Why doesn't he have the time to shop?

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 08/12/2019 12:27

I always went shopping with Dad to buy Mum's gift. But one year he knew exactly what he wanted to give her; a string of pearls and a new Bible with her name engraved on the front. It was the year of their Silver Anniversary and it turned out that those were the exact gifts he'd given her for their first married Xmas. My mum was thrilled that he remembered.

Would your dad be able to remember what he gave your mum? Would she appreciate his remembering?

wheresmymojo · 08/12/2019 12:35

Spa weekend?

froomeonthebroom · 08/12/2019 12:40

iPad?

lovedogsandcake · 08/12/2019 12:52

Sorry I've not read all the responses but if she loves dog walks then muck boots (£120) may be good. I received some for my birthday and they're great.

PermanentTemporary · 08/12/2019 12:57

Diamonds (non blood)
Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons

Perfect for the rich and unimaginative (I'm not knocking either, would love to be rich and am useless at presents).

Original poster
Courtney555 · 08/12/2019 12:57

Look as your dm has specifically said she wants your df to choose and buy, why don't you do as she wishes. She may well feel very unhappy about how little he appears to know her and just once, would like some public demonstration of how much he cares about her.

@titchy that's exactly it, she puts loads of thought and effort into presents, parties, events, meals for him, and the rest of the family. It's not that he's unappreciative, he's just absolutely useless at reciprocating, and she'd love nothing more than for him to just "get her" and find her something truly lovely and meaningful. It's just not in his makeup to be that way, even if he wants to be.

DF is a wonderful person. He cares very much for her. But if I don't sort this out, he'll do what he did once before (which he thought was a brilliant idea)...which is tell her "I didn't get you anything, but you can pick twice in the January sales"...which she sees as thoughtless (if not worse) as not getting her anything. And that would not go down well.

OP posts:
Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 08/12/2019 13:05

Sorel Joan of arctic are fantastic snow boots. I got some for my birthday and they are lovely.

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 08/12/2019 13:08

Tickets to a show
A weekend at a spa for her and a close friend
Diamond studs
Dubarrys
Cashmere scarf
Portrait of her dogs

Original poster
Courtney555 · 08/12/2019 13:09

@Fueled

I have that exact pair Xmas Grin

I'll have a Google and see what I can find that's more glam looking.

OP posts:
DisgruntledGuineaPig · 08/12/2019 13:12

Well yes, you asked for no judgement, but then your mum asked you not to buy a gift for her from your dad, and you wont respect her perfectly reasonable request and insist on interfering in their marriage to paper over problems.

Personally, if I did all the work towards family Christmas for decades, and the only thing DH had to do was buy me a gift, yet that was too much effort for him, so he convinced our DD it was her job to do that or Christmas would be ruined, I would think he was a shit of the highest order.

It is not your job to stop your parents having arguments. I think you risk an even bigger argument if she finds out.

Betterbegoing · 08/12/2019 13:17

Hicks and brown fedora with a feathered pin, maybe from a more individual/handmade vendor.
Monogrammed Mackenzie and George belt
Expensive cashmere scarf from somewhere with a posh name 👍🏻

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 08/12/2019 13:18

Actually, your dad doesn't sound caring and thoughtful. He must know she expects a gift, because he gets you to do it.

He just cant be arsed.

He might be lovely to you, but other than funding what she wants, does he make any effort with her?

Remind him he needs to get her a gift and you wont be doing it this year. If you remember her being upset about the "buy yourself something in the January sales" year, if he loves your mum, he'll remember too.

Then step back. Let it happen.

Betterbegoing · 08/12/2019 13:19

Does she need wellies? Le Chams.
Top up present, extra hassles for her F&F boots

Midgey91 · 08/12/2019 13:19

What about a tweed coat from joules for the dog walking.

Silk pjs or scarf from liberty would be a luxe gift.

Cashmere gloves/hat from Hush

Perfume from no malone

Neom oil diffuser and oil set (these smell divine!!)

Ugg slippers

Dyson hair dryer

Rare books club subscription

Mela weighted blanket

Smeg citrus juicer

Milk tooth LDN jewellery

Midgey91 · 08/12/2019 13:20

Oops that's is suppose to read Jo Malone!

Floralnomad · 08/12/2019 13:26

If you are thinking dog walking coat have a look at Driza-bone , they are excellent although I wouldn’t call them glam in anyway .