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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

DS (17) "only wants money" for Xmas - entitled or sensible?

59 replies

MotherofOne · 07/12/2019 17:07

Our older teens usually tell us what they want as a 'big' present for Xmas and sometimes they ask for money (£100-£150) if they're saving up for something bigger. This is fine by us, but we always get a few extra little bits and pieces e.g. socks, sweets, a book etc so there are some presents under the tree for them to open on Xmas morning. These 'extras' usually cost about £20-£25 max.

DS (whose 17) has just said that he ONLY wants money and DOESN'T want anything else AT ALL, but wants the money that would've been spent on the stocking filler type presents.
I was a bit to be honest and told he sounded very entitled and should be grateful for whatever he gets.

I don't know how I feel about this. On one hand, I kind of understand where he is coming from, but on the other I feel that it will spoil Xmas morning if there is NOTHING for him to open except an envelope of cash.

What would you do?

OP posts:

Original poster

MotherofOne · 07/12/2019 17:09

"who is 17", not whose... flippin' autocorrect

OP posts:

Nishky · 07/12/2019 17:10

I would give him the money. We do this with our dd and I have the issue about parcels under the tree ( I love them 😳) Dd suggested I wrap up several bundles of cash........

idril · 07/12/2019 17:13

Entitled in my opinion. I would give him a normal amount of money and no stocking fillers.

My 13 year old was a bit like this this year but I explained to him that he's missing the point of present giving. He asks for something as a main present and depending on the cost of that some money too which is fine but I'm the same as you in that I get him small things to open .

These are often edible or things that I know he'll use rather than useless tat but he thought that if I didn't get the small presents, he would get the equivalent in money instead but I explained that I didn't get the stocking fillers because I wanted to spend £X on him - I got him them because opening actual gifts is part of the day.

wishing4sun · 07/12/2019 17:13

My DS 18 has had money the last couple of years, I just think of inventive ways of wrapping it.
It's been in blocks of plaster of Paris,
Bowls of jelly,
Balloons,
I think he secretly likes it.

Widowodiw · 07/12/2019 17:16

He’s 17 who wouldn’t want the cash. Stocking fillers are normally just a waste anyway.

Greyhound22 · 07/12/2019 17:18

I think it's a bit rude tbh. When I read the title I thought he wasn't as I don't mind people asking for money although MN generally frown upon it - but he's missing the point of gift giving and Christmas really - he's getting plenty of money - I don't see why the money for the stocking fillers would be on the table. He's basically saying I don't want the tat you usually buy just as much money as I can get my hands on.

jay55 · 07/12/2019 17:19

It would make me want to give them only the money for the stocking fillers.

nrpmum · 07/12/2019 17:23

Of course he wants cash. Anything us 'oldies' buy is going to be lame!

Tbh I'd not have a problem with it

Original poster

MotherofOne · 07/12/2019 17:23

Just to be clear, the 'stocking fillers' are not useless tat that will end up at the charity shop on 27th Dec - usually practical/ edible things.

He doesn't actually need the money. He has a weekly allowance and also does odd bits of work (pet care/ waitering etc).

I just think it's not in the 'spirit' of the day to demand 'only' money ?

OP posts:

Littleshortcake · 07/12/2019 17:23

I feel it is slightly cheeky and misses the point of the 'gift' giving. But just tell him you want to give money and a token and he needs to understand that. He's very lucky.

OrangeZog · 07/12/2019 17:24

I would just give him money but not what would have been spent on stocking fillers.

doritosdip · 07/12/2019 17:27

I'd do money but no extra for the stocking fillers. Bah humbug to him

wineandsunshine · 07/12/2019 17:29

My son is the same age and has asked for money too (we will give him £100 in a tub of quality street!). But like you, we also do the stocking and that's not going to change!

Finfintytint · 07/12/2019 17:30

I’d give him the money and a stocking with chocolate coins in it. He can’t complain

ReeRi · 07/12/2019 17:30

I agree give him money but no stocking fillers. The point of the small gifts as well is so he has something to open not so you have to give him more. If he doesn’t want the extra bits then don’t give them to him and save yourself some money.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 07/12/2019 17:33

The "stuff" to open is more for you than him. Just give him money.

Original poster

MotherofOne · 07/12/2019 17:34

haha - like the chocolate coin idea!

OP posts:

ReeRi · 07/12/2019 17:39

*The "stuff" to open is more for you than him.” Yes but that’s part of the fun of Christmas - buying gifts that a loved one might enjoy.

DamnItsSevenAM · 07/12/2019 17:39

I think it's rude and ungrateful. It's not up to him how someone else spends their money on a gift, it's freely chosen by the giver. The money doesn't belong to him to choose how it's spent.

Pipandmum · 07/12/2019 17:41

I'm giving my 16 year old mo ey as his main gift, but the other day ordered him out of the room as I was sorting presents and he might see his - he was surprised as he knew he was getting money. The presents are relatively low value - socks, t shirt etc, but I think it's nice to have presents under the tree. I do think its presumptuous to ask for the value of those extras in cash - if my son had said that I wouldn't give it to him. Part of the joy of Christmas for me is finding things my family would like, not just need, and just to hand over a cheque (or in my case, transferring money) would take that away.

Notso · 07/12/2019 17:41

It would depend what the money was going to be used for. If he's saving up for something then I'd feel differently to if he was just planning on taking a photo for social media or something and then frittering it away.
If I had an inkling my DC was being entitled I'd be tempted to put the money in their bank account so there was nothing at all to open on Christmas morning.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 07/12/2019 17:42

But why buy stuff for someone who has clearly stated that they don't want it?

ReeRi · 07/12/2019 17:42

The "stuff" to open is more for you than him. Yes but that’s part of the fun of Christmas - buying gifts that a loved one might enjoy.

Sorry bold fail

areyouafraidofthedark · 07/12/2019 17:42

I always had money as a present as soon as I became a teenager. I would give him it, he's practically an adult and can be responsible enough to spend the money.

ReeRi · 07/12/2019 17:43

But why buy stuff for someone who has clearly stated that they don't want it?

It’s not that he doesn’t want it, it’s that he wants more money!

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