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Christmas

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Original poster

Advent calendar for elderly man?

27 replies

PersisFord · 15/11/2019 21:31

I am after some christmas expertise.....

An elderly relative has just gone in to a residential home after the death of his wife. He is very sweet and clever, we all adore him. But....his vision is terrible and he is feeling very lonely and isolated. The home is apparently nice enough but he doesn’t feel he has much in common with the other residents (he is very sociable and they are less so), and he is missing his house and his garden. He is coming to us for Christmas but we won’t get to him before as it’s the other end of the country. He doesn’t have any other family.

So that’s the back story. My kids write to him every week and we send him pictures etc. They suggested an advent calendar, which is an excellent idea....but where can I find an advent calendar for an adult man? His vision is too bad for a picture one. I found a tea one and a beer one but neither seems right. He’s got a real sweet tooth and I think he would like a chocolate one....but they all seem too childish.

I’d be really grateful for any thoughts.

OP posts:
perkele · 15/11/2019 21:34

You sound lovely. Lindt do Lindor advent calendar that looks delicious.

Si1ver · 15/11/2019 21:36

I sent my folks the bon maman one this year, jams and cakes. Hotel Chocolat do lovely ones too.

What sort of budget were you thinking about.

BreconBeBuggered · 15/11/2019 21:38

I have a fabric one I bought twenty years ago which I fill with chocolate Santas, gold coins or whatever takes my fancy every year. You can probably buy something similar which looks Christmassy rather than childish, and the big advantage is that the numbers run in order rather than randomly as with most cardboard calendars, so it's easier to use for someone with poor vision.

ShootTheRunner · 15/11/2019 21:38

I got a lindt one for my DH. It looks a bit more grown up than some. How thoughtful of your children and I hope you all have a nice Christmas when he comes.

glitterbiscuits · 15/11/2019 21:38

Hotel Chocolate have a dark chocolate one I'd buy for my dad if he was still here.

I've also seen a jam one!

VolcanionSteamArtillery · 15/11/2019 21:40

Aldi had Quality sweet ones i the other day!! They would have been perfect!

riotlady · 15/11/2019 21:40

Malteaser ones are nice and usually not that childish? Or if you fancied treating him a bit, Hotel Chocolat?

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 15/11/2019 21:46

The quality street ones were reduced in our local Aldi last week.
An alternative would be to send him something nice through the post each day for advent
You could do some chocolate things
Some hand written memories that you hold dear of him or his wife
Kids pictures
Small gifts like hankies, puzzle books, nice teabags?

We did similar when my auntie was ill in hospital in the run up to Christmas.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 15/11/2019 21:46

It’s a lovely thought op Flowers

AuntyElle · 15/11/2019 21:47

As his sight is limited, a fill-your-own one with little drawers might be nice, and more tactile than visual. You could put his favourite chocolates and even notes from the kids inside. Some nice (ironically non-childish) ones from JoJo Maman Bebe on this list: www.standard.co.uk/shopping/esbest/christmas/best-diy-advent-calendars-for-christmas-2019-a4246586.html

Original poster
PersisFord · 15/11/2019 21:48

Oh wow, a flurry of replies!!! I’ll look at all of them, thank you!!

I am a bit worried about how he will find the right day on the advent calendar. Although....I guess it doesn’t really matter that much anyway! I am so sad for him though, he is so lonely, and I just want to be able to remind him how loved and precious he is. When I was little he used to dress up as Father Christmas for the rotary club, and he used to borrow the suit for Christmas Day and sneak out after lunch then come back in wearing it and pretend he didn’t recognise us, asking us our names and how old we were. Absolutely HILARIOUS when you are 6!

OP posts:
AuntyElle · 15/11/2019 21:50

There’s also a rather grown-up After Eights one from Tesco: www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/301735062

Original poster
PersisFord · 15/11/2019 21:51

I love the idea of a fill your own one but am realistic about my ability to get it done and packed and posted. We could up the writing to every day in December (just space out the “art” works rather than posting them all together), I like the thought of the staff and other residents knowing how precious he is to us. Nobody visits him and I would hate them to think he is unloved.

OP posts:
AuntyElle · 15/11/2019 21:53

With the refillable drawer type you could re-order the boxes so they run in date order from the top down, to help him find the right one easily.

Original poster
PersisFord · 15/11/2019 21:54

And I’ve made myself CRY with how lovely he is and how lovely you all are

OP posts:
AuntyElle · 15/11/2019 21:54

Tbf OP, you only need to fill it with a box of his favourite chocolates and replace it in the packaging it came in.

FAQs · 15/11/2019 21:56

Cheese?

ThisMayBeOuting · 15/11/2019 21:57

A chocolate liqueur advent calendar? There are a few here: www.friars.co.uk/christmas-c70/shop-by-product-c155/advent-calendars-c230

FredaFrogspawn · 15/11/2019 21:57

Or a stocking with 24 little gifts and he picks one a day - does it matter what order they’re in? You could wrap small things he might find useful, funny stuff like a chocolate Santa, little jam etc.

Mumdiva99 · 15/11/2019 22:00

Any chance you could get him into a home closer to you? Is that possible? Do they have any activities at his home? Bingo? Scrabble? Sing songs? Etc if not could he start something?

You sound lovely. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.

stucknoue · 15/11/2019 22:05

Galaxy chocolate one isn't kiddy

Original poster
PersisFord · 15/11/2019 22:22

These are all amazing! Who knew it was such an industry? I love the jojo ones, they are lovely! And I could easily put a roses strawberry cream in each one, he would love it! I was also wondering about sending a poinsettia - they are so lovely and Christmassy and a bit less lonely than sending a little Christmas tree.

I would love him in a home closer to us. I feel awful how things have happened - his wife died quite suddenly and until then they had been managing really well. I didn’t realise just how much she had been caring for him, and when we went to see him over the summer it was clear that he wasn’t coping brilliantly but it was very early days, and we sorted him a cleaner and a meal delivery service. Then he sort of got bustled in to the home by some friends from church, and his house was sold, and all his furniture and keepsakes and everything was sold, and he’s in a home. And his are all very elderly and he isn’t up to getting the bus back to where he used to live.

BUT.....I am trying to set him up an account with a local minicab firm (struggling a little but I will manage). I will pay the bills, and I will get him a mobile phone he can use with the minicab number programmed in. Then he can just ring to be driven places, the driver can take him inside (the pub), come back for him and take him back into the home. As he makes friends, he can then take his friends out (to the pub). Or to the garden centre for a cup of tea and a mooch. And if that isn’t working out and he is still lonely he will have to bite the bullet and move near us.

OP posts:
Original poster
PersisFord · 15/11/2019 22:23

I’ve taken a special day of annual leave to go and pick him up for christmas, so I can investigate the home more and work out what they have in the way of entertainment as well

OP posts:
MistressMind · 16/11/2019 00:59

You sound like a lovely relative.

Another thought if he likes spirits - just get him a bottle of whisky or whatever he likes. Tell him tongue in cheek that it's his advent calendar, and he's to have about one measure a day. My dad wouldn't like the fuss of an actual advent calendar but this really tickled him, and it's a fraction of the cost of an actual whisky advent calendar.

You could do similar with a box of posh chocolates - liqueur ones perhaps.