How do you decide where to spend Christmas each year?

[Barbarara]

We alternate between families, sometimes hosting, sometimes not. Dh would be miserable if we had it just by ourselves and considers Christmas a time for family. So ironically I pressure my family, who really aren’t bothered by Christmas, to come to ours every other year just so we won’t be alone and have to go to the in-laws every year.
Hosting them is fine, but I really don’t enjoy spending Christmas there but will have to suck it up this year.
Mil does a lovely Christmas and the dc and dh are already excited and it will be fine. I’d just rather stay home.

Sorry Tricky, didn’t intend to sound harsh.

But one of my most enjoyable Christmasses was actually volunteering, with DH and our young toddler .

The years each of my kids were born (and were newborn at xmas) we went for lunch at my mum's so we didn't have to do as much. Apart from that we stay home. Open invitation for my parents and also in laws to join us (but they never do).

Thanks, but no need to apologise Ragwort. The thought of DS, his DP and toddling DS being of much use to any one as volunteers just amused me.

We don't go to my family anymore since we had kids, we went a couple of times when the kids were small and didn't miss their gifts etc but once they hit 4 or 5 we felt it was mean to tear them away from their presents and home.

Have never had dinner in FIL / MIL, did call there one xmas day to visit and they were sat at the table eating their dinner and drinking cheap wine out of mis matched mugs. It is not one bit Christmassy , table is never sat, no Christmas décor, just like a regular everyday dinner, and what harm they are loaded. Just couldn't be bothered. No wonder DH loves when I go over the top with little touches, too much food and copious drinks, its the novelty of one time of year

We alternate between families. This year it's my husband's family. Gah!

It's complicated like for everyone

SIL and BIL live abroad, in two different countries. DH only gets Christmas Day off and works the rest of Christmas, so for the past few years it's been us staying at home with an open invite.

This year we've lucked out as in laws are all going away together, excluding us. We pointed out that DH only gets the 25th off and they suggested he threw a sickie (his job is along the lines of being a Dr in A&E so he'd never throw a sickie at Christmas).

We now live 15 minutes walk to my parents so will go there for Christmas Dinner, giving us the morning to chill out with 2yo DS.

I remember when getting engaged my DM warning me about "creating expectations" when it comes to this. I think my DH would be happy to go to his parents every year and had to put my foot down on that quickly. He has a cousin who has never spent Christmas in her own home and didn't get that I don't want that for my own DC.

We stay home, love it the 4 of us. The children like to stay with their toys, we see family on a different date. That way no decisions, treating everyone the same etc.

We alternate years between my parents and IL's. I'be hosted only twice in 21 years. The issue is we then have two big families at once and our lounge isn't big enough for everyone at once.

We think (usually on Boxing Day for the year ahead) about whether we can face 2 turkey dinners in 1 day, or not.

If we think we can, I get on to organising a cottage locally to DPs/DMIL in very early spring (MUST be booked before Easter or there are none available). Costs €€€ but needs must. As both families have a great Irish guilt trip mechanism about how much time is spent in each others' house, and which house we are sleeping in, but neither will take any account of people's actual need for time out and sleep and relaxation. (DH and I work FT, incredibly stressful jobs, DD has ASD/ADHD and needs some space to let things regulate or she will go into meltdown with the chaos of it all, but while they can't accept it about us they will grudgingly accept DD's needs).

But it means turkey lunch in 1 house, and turkey evening dinner in the other house and racing around all day.

The years we have decided we cannot face 2 dinners, we stay at home ourselves and visit afterwards. We generally go out in the mornings anyway - for mass and to visit some extended family living relatively locally. But then we can relax at home while cooking in our own time from mid-afternoon onwards.

We alternate between families and also alternate between visiting and hosting. So it looks like this:
Year 1 - we host my family
Year 2 - we host DH's family
Year 3 - we are guests with my family (my cousin hosts)
Year 4 - we are guests with DH's family (my PILs host)

It's a bit complicated but it works for us!

We used to alternate but now we’ve had kids I’ve said we’re staying at home. We still see people around the Christmas period but Christmas Day is our day. I want to make new traditions for the kids and do Christmas dinner my way.

If DH had his way we’d go to the in-laws every year which is 3 hours away and my mum would throw a strop if that happened.

My DD goes to her dad for Xmas day and boxing day alternate years so we made the 27th a special alternative Xmas day spent with my family. We continued this and now we spend Xmas day at home with DP, DSS, DS and DD if it's my year, boxing day is spent at a big meet up for all of DP's family and the 27th is our special day at my mum's.

We host every year now, both because our house has the space, but also because DH is a better cook by miles than any of the parents!

We do alternate, so technically one year is DH's side and one is mine, but parents are invited every year as otherwise they would have a year alone and we don't want them to have that.