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Christmas

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Original poster

How do you decide where to spend Christmas each year?

64 replies

Barbarara · 20/10/2019 18:31

We alternate between families, sometimes hosting, sometimes not. Dh would be miserable if we had it just by ourselves and considers Christmas a time for family. So ironically I pressure my family, who really aren’t bothered by Christmas, to come to ours every other year just so we won’t be alone and have to go to the in-laws every year.
Hosting them is fine, but I really don’t enjoy spending Christmas there but will have to suck it up this year.
Mil does a lovely Christmas and the dc and dh are already excited and it will be fine. I’d just rather stay home.

OP posts:

Tableclothing · 20/10/2019 19:57

your Inlaws sound bonkers😂😂

Glad it's them and not me

autumnleaves99 · 20/10/2019 20:01

I'd love to host but our house is small and it would just be too cramped and uncomfortable to host Christmas. We are hopefully moving in the next year or so and I'm looking forward to hosting and having family round.

So we've ended up alternating between both sets of parents since we married and had kids. It's fine but I definitely prefer being at my parents. Along with the usual big Christmas dinner there's loads of nibbles, chocolates, a massive selection of drinks etc on the go all day and everyone just helps themselves. At the in laws you get a pre dinner drink and a glass of wine with Christmas dinner and then the alcohol is put away and it's only tea and coffee for the rest of the day. And if you're lucky you might get offered a chocolate or two at some point.

Thankfully it's at my parents this year. I can't wait to be able to host and just have Christmas the way we want to do it!

SleepyKat · 20/10/2019 20:02

I simply refuse to go anywhere and stay at home.

Star2015 · 20/10/2019 20:03

We go to my parents every year. Luckily for me, I love it there and DH does too. He sees his family, but isn’t close with them and enjoys my families traditions. His family sometimes go away for Christmas too which makes it easier. I wouldn’t want to spend Christmas any other way.

Squirrelblanket · 20/10/2019 20:11

We decided a long time ago that we want to have Christmas in our own home, so that's what we do. Occasionally we might have one or two guests but that's about it, most years it's just the two of us. We love it, it's our favourite time of year.

OhTheRoses · 20/10/2019 20:14

Just remembered something. I was 36 and a half weeks pg in 1994. DH and I decided that would be our last christmas as a couple and not to travel. I spent xmas eve morning casseroling pheasant feeling a bit achy. By 5pm I had terrific back ache and stron braxton hicks. Phoned hospital and advised a warm bath, paracetamol and to go in if it didn't ease off. DS was born shortly after midnight on Christmas morning. We never got a married Xmas alone. Best present though. His middle name is Caspar )

Parky04 · 20/10/2019 20:14

Have always spent Christmas (last 20 years) at home with just the 4 of us. Love it and parents were miffed at first but got used to it!

cultkid · 20/10/2019 20:15

My husbands family are jehovas witnesses. I married him for a reason 🤫🤫

Lc2006 · 20/10/2019 20:18

The year we had first child we told both families we wouldn't be going out on Christmas day anymore we'd be having it at home. Some years we invite people some years we don't. Never made anything regular so it's not expected and we can decide how we want to do it every year. We make sure we always see all the family around Christmas week but not always on Christmas day.

courderoy · 20/10/2019 20:20

No one has ever invited us! Used to be just me, DH and the DCs but FIL passed away a few years ago so MIL now comes to us.

Ragwort · 20/10/2019 20:25

Fortunately we’ve always tended to be able to agree amicably & in over 30 Christmases together we’ve never disagreed. We NEVER got into the ‘alternate family’ routine though & I think that is crucial. We’ve hosted, been guests at my DPs, ILs, siblings, worked in restaurants, been on holiday, stayed home alone, been at Church events hosting the elderly - & this year for various reasons we are spending Christmas apart (DH & DS skiing) & I am 10O% genuinely happy about it .

We are parents to an only DS & I would hate him to have ‘obligations’ about spending Christmas with us.

MrsLindor · 20/10/2019 20:29

I'm hosting DP and our DCs at my house and I don't intend spending another Christmas Day at anyone else's house again, at least until DC are grown with their own homes then I may need to reasses. I've spent every adult Christmas pleasing other people and now I'm doing what I want (luckily DP and our collective DC agree).

Cherryrainbow · 20/10/2019 20:37

My son spends xmas on alternate years with his dad's family, and my family. This year he's at his dad's so I'll spend xmas day with my family. (I'll do xmas eve as our day of presents and food etc).
my boyfriend has his son on boxing day so we spend that day with his family.

LBOCS2 · 20/10/2019 21:18

We alternate between DH's family and mine, depending on whether DSS is with us. They live in a flat so usually come to us, although last year we went to them. On the years we've been with my family we've either gone to DDad's or DSis's house, but this year we're hosting them all at ours. It's a very chilled out arrangement, we don't tend to get wound up about Christmas.

TrickyD · 20/10/2019 21:50

DS1's partner is Brazilian and naturally she wants to see her own family at Christmas, so we seem to have settled down to alternate years. This year they are off to Brazil, last year they were here, the year before that we went with them for a Brazilian Christmas and DGS's christening on Christmas Eve.

They leave for Brazil on 14 Dec but will come here the weekend before and we will have the tree and decs up, and the rest of the family will come for a Christmas type dinner. I will be a bit sad at the real Christmas as grown up grandson and partner will also be away, so instead of 10 we will be five.

But I shall definitely be doing some spadework to make sure next year it will be Christmas with us for DS1 and his family.

Ragwort · 21/10/2019 07:38

Tricky, why do you need to make sure that next year your adult DS and his wife spend Christmas with you, what if they wanted to spend Christmas in their own home? Or go away with friends? Or work or volunteer? Or perhaps they would like to host?

I am glad my parents never had any ‘expectations’ about how I spent Christmas as an adult and I will make sure I do the same for my DS.

mummyof2boys30 · 21/10/2019 07:54

If any one has a spare entertainer code I would be very grateful. Have joined their Birthday club but no code yet

Roselilly36 · 21/10/2019 08:02

Always in our home, every year, DH insists on it, I would love to spend Xmas somewhere sunny, we compromise by having a winter sun holiday if we can afford it, but never over the Xmas period.

AliasGrape · 21/10/2019 08:03

We either travel the 4+ hours to my sister’s and spend it with her, my brother in law and nieces or stay home and host the in-laws. We alternate and whichever one we do for Christmas we do the other for new year.

But this year we’re getting married right before Christmas and I haven’t really thought beyond that but don’t think I’ll be up for either travelling or hosting so I’m thinking just us at home with leftover cake.

Whoops75 · 21/10/2019 08:07

We stay at home every year

Have in-laws every second yr, not a fun Christmas. She frets over the dinner and he comments on how badly built toys are.

We host my mother every 5 years so have Christmas with just us quite a bit and absolutely love it.

Pannalash · 21/10/2019 08:10

Sadly all our parents are dead so we have no choice but to stay at home. I wish we had the ‘problem’ of choosing where to go.

Autumn101 · 21/10/2019 08:16

We tend to alternate between my parents, in-laws and just us but locations vary! We live abroad, parents UK and in-laws in another country.

Last few years we went back to UK for one, then stayed at home the next and had lots of friends over, last year we travelled to in-laws country. This year my parents are traveling to us.

Once we had DC we stayed at home and people visited us until they were about 6/7. Too much stress otherwise!!

TrickyD · 21/10/2019 10:48

Ragwort, I really don't think that DS1 and his DP and their own small DS would want to volunteer or work at Christmas, maybe I will suggest it .

We have a big house with room for everyone and DS2 and his two younger kids stay here on Christmas Eve and go to their mum's for Christmas lunch, returning here for (another) Christmas dinner, which they manage to cope with quite happily.

DS1 has asked if we would all like to go to them for Christmas, bit of a squash but doable, but then it would not be possible for kids to see their mum.

When my own mum died, she left me a letter asking me to try to make sure we continued to meet up as a family. I try to do that.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 21/10/2019 18:13

The years where my sister and her family are in our home town we spend Christmas with them and my parents.

When they go to the inlaws, we do our own thing which the past few times has comprised of just us, seeing friends or (shock horror!) fuck all!

PepePig · 21/10/2019 18:57

I prefer making an effort in my own house to have a nice Christmas with me and DP (and DD this year as it's her first!)

I think if we would have started going to X and Y's house for Christmas every year, it would have made us utterly miserable in 5 years time. I'd rather make it amazing in my own home.

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