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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

I see many posts suggesting Buying for children only, i have never done this

36 replies

GaryBaldbiscuit · 13/12/2018 08:12

its too late now
but when do you stop?
when do you decide that the children are now teenagers or older and its about time you bought for your sister?

OP posts:

thomasthecheekyone · 13/12/2018 08:16

My sister decided it once I had my first. I'd been buying for her and her 2 kids for 8 years!

youngestisapsycho · 13/12/2018 08:23

I hate that stupid rule... kids get loads at Christmas. Why can’t adults be surprised and given a nice gift?

CurlsandCurves · 13/12/2018 08:25

My brother and I agreed on it a few years ago. Think he brought it up and I happily agreed. We just buy for each other’s children now.

Don’t see why it’s too late to change things if it suits you all better.

gaggiagirl · 13/12/2018 08:27

We still buy for each other, we always have. We get each others children small token gifts. The kids get enough tat every year we try not to add to it.
Last year I got my DNs pencil cases and a pack of their favorite biscuits. Came in at less than £2 and they loved it.

jingleMcjangle · 13/12/2018 08:28

We do it because we can't afford to buy anything decent for adults too. I do try and bake or buy games for everyone to play as well.

I'd rather be honest and not get myself into debt trying to please people who don't need tat.

Stickerrocks · 13/12/2018 08:33

We agreed a few years ago that we would only buy for our nieces & nephews, but then DH just buys "a little something" for his two brothers (normally a bottle of single malt each) which means we also end up buying something for my SILs. Some of the nieces & nephews are adults and are working, but they haven't left home yet. It's really difficult to stop, especially if they have younger siblings. His parents don't buy gifts for anyone, but we all buy something for them.

Meanwhile I buy vouchers for my parents, which I know they love spending. However, they usually give me a cheque for exactly the same amount, which sort of defeats the object! My DB always gets a hamper in the run up to Christmas full of treats and often gives my wine & chocs in return.

The whole gift giving thing is a minefield. Work out what works for your family, what you can afford & what makes you happy, then stick with it.

Santababyclaus · 13/12/2018 08:39

My siblings and I stopped buying for each other when we all had dcs as it was getting too expensive.

DP and his siblings do a secret santa for the adults.

We buy for our parents and grandmother.

DP and I don't bother buying each other a present but we basically have a deal that we can buy ourselves something we want (rather than need as such) in the sales.

PostmanBos · 13/12/2018 08:53

I can see both sides of this as I personally enjoy getting gifts and they really cheer me up and make my Christmas day much happier for me. Even if its something little like socks or chocs I love having something. This is partly because I am not very well off and tend not to spend much on myself, spare money goes on my children, so many of these gifts are something I wouldn't otherwise have and are a luxury to me. Im not saying I have never been disappointed with a gift, but in general I like most things.

Many adults these days have plenty of money and don't really appreciate the gift itself. They don't want random things and if they do want something they can easily buy it themselves with the click of a button. I am sure most people appreciate the thoughtfulness of you buying them something, but the actual present may not be something they want or need. So rather than keeping your £20 and spending it on something you actually like you are swapping £20 gifts that you don't like as much and having to put yourself through stress for the pleasure.

GreenDinosaur · 13/12/2018 08:56

I don't mind buying adult gifts for family but I'm really trying to get out of it for friends.
I have found myself in a pattern where I have to get something for quite a few friends mainly DH's friends tbh but I'm getting really sick of trying to choose something for adult couples with multiple children every year just for the sake of it.
We should limit in to Birthdays in my opinion, only family kids too. I don't think the others would even notice as they get so much.

I have this conversation every year with DH but he says "Well they always get us something that we don't want and a gift for DS. And what about Jane & John, they don't have kids so if we only did adults, it wouldn't be fair."

Plus 2 of our Godchildren never write a thank you letter or even mention the gifts

Madeline88 · 13/12/2018 08:57

We stopped buying children gifts at 21 in our family and a 10 pound limit before that, that’s roughly what we stick to now and think we will probably stop at 21 too. Adults do secret Santa so you get one nice gift worth around 50 pound instead of lots of tat.

PerspicaciaTick · 13/12/2018 08:58

With only three children in my whole extended family, it would make Christmas a bit meh!

Antigonads · 13/12/2018 09:06

We stopped getting for DH's nieces and nephews when they had children of their own. So now we buy for them instead. There are 8 of them. DH sends each a cheque since I gave up on the present getting. I don't buy for my two nephews as they are abroad.

I did mention to him the other day that it is £400 a year on children we barely know.

I used to buy for my friend's children (4) before having dd, but strangely she has never bought for mine.

PatriciaHolm · 13/12/2018 09:08

We stopped on one side because there are 10 adults and 10 kids and Christmas unwrapping took FOREVER and we were just buying each other random tat really.

PsychedelicSheep · 13/12/2018 09:26

We do this in my family, adults don't need presents really and it was just so expensive and time consuming.

My kids are 11 and 14, this is the first year they won't be getting 'Santa' presents but will still get some things under the tree.

This year they're with their dad Xmas day and my partners family are coming to mine, they're Muslim and don't do presents at all which is refreshing!

I hate all the pressure to spend money.

HRTpatch · 13/12/2018 09:27

I have done it for years. It is liberating.

BrokenWing · 13/12/2018 09:41

My sister decided it once I had my first. I'd been buying for her and her 2 kids for 8 years!

i assume she had been buying you and you bought for her so it doesn't matter if you were buying for her kids too or am I missing something? Maybe she didnt want to say before as that mean you were buying for her kids alone and not getting anything in return? Was there anything to stop you suggesting earlier?

OP, we decided this together years ago when I didn't have kids but two of my brothers did and it was such a relief not to worry about buying everyone crap they didnt want. For us Christmas is now about spending time together, playing daft party games and having a laugh, all of which can be done without the opening a tat present you have to pretend to like which is quickly discarded, occasionally we'll do a joke £5-£10 funny secret santa.

A couple of years before the oldest were coming up to 21 one of my SIL said they stop in her family at 21 so she would stop then and that became the norm for us too.

Its probably a bit late for this year, but if you want to do maybe mention in the new year buying for kids only until they are 18/21 and remind everyone around September onward.

BlueOooChristmas · 13/12/2018 10:18

We do this, at my suggestion. It was already agreed between myself and my two brothers (between us all we have 8 children) however it was met with raised eyebrows by my SIL (who at the time only had one child and no other nieces or nephews besides our kids). The trouble is they weren't factoring in all the others we had to buy for and we were really struggling. I understand it seems a bit miserable but if you spend £20 (at least) on each child it adds up fast. This year we worked out with nieces, nephews, parents and all the people we buy token gifts for (biscuits for cousins etc) we'd already spent about £450.

We stop buying when they leave schooling and get a job. Although if they sent a card/small gift we would probably continue but it's yet to happen!

Purplehairdontcare · 13/12/2018 11:59

This is a really tricky one.

What about people who don't have children, or those whose children have grown up?

I couldn't not buy for my mum and dad, or my sister.

Having said that, I hate grabby adults and hate buying just for the sake of buying, most of us have enough tat.

Butteredghost · 13/12/2018 12:13

I think it's just helpful to draw the line somewhere. You could just as easily say "presents for adults only", so that adult siblings buy gifts for each other but you don't worry about nieces and nephews (of which there could be 10+), who get plenty of gifts from their parents anyway.

Or say presents for grandparents, but the adult siblings won't buy for each other.

One reason is probably children can be more fun and easier to buy for, at least when younger, as you can go toy shopping. Harder to think of a gift for a 45 year old.

SoyDora · 13/12/2018 12:13

Our children are the only children in the family so it wouldn’t be fair to say children only really, as they’d be the only ones getting anything and we wouldn’t have to buy anything in return.

Mrsmumof3 · 14/12/2018 14:19

Yes we only buy for our children, nephews and nieces

BlueBinDay · 20/12/2018 20:10

Why can’t adults be surprised and given a nice gift?

They can, of course - but my family has 10 adults and it turns into silly money. If we all spend £10 on each adult we've spent nearly a grand between us. And £10 doesn't get you much tbh. So we don't.

cyclecamper · 20/12/2018 20:17

I buy for my children only. I bought for my nieces and nephews until I didn't have money, then I stopped. I don't buy for any adults at all, with minor exceptions if I'm at someone's house on the day, which I try to avoid.

Nothisispatrick · 20/12/2018 20:20

We do a secret Santa amongst the adults with a decent price limit so everyone gets a nice gift, plus the couples buy for each other anyway.

Then the kids get stuff from everyone.

neveradullmoment99 · 20/12/2018 20:22

For my SIL it was 13. Things become far too expensive so no presents after that. I think its still a bit young. I think 15/16 and it should stop.

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