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Original poster

How do you explain not having a elf?

356 replies

ItsJustASimpleLine · 01/12/2018 08:33

Really don't want to have to do elf on the shelf. Can anyone help with and explanation for why we don't have one that DD would believe??

OP posts:
fireworkbang · 02/12/2018 12:51

I really object on the grounds that people seem increasingly to be drawn into the idea of Christmas as some Mega Magical Month of Wonder where the stakes are constantly upped as to how magical you can make it for your children

I think that's fair, but maybe some people enjoy making it a magical month of wonder! We don't do elf on the shelf, my children are too young to know about it and I'll definitely wait until they start asking about it, but I do see the joy and excitement it brings my nieces and nephews and I think I'd find it hard to reject the whole idea completely if my kids started asking where their elf is. My dh would probably find it fun to do aswell, I get that people are busy and may not want to, but the sneering, oh god the sneering! It's insufferable.

bookworm14 · 02/12/2018 12:53

Excellent post, Ontopofthesunset.

BlueJag · 02/12/2018 12:58

I never did the Elf. Found it obnoxious and really naughty.
You can do a few days maybe just before Christmas but I wouldn't.
Most of my friends found it a nightmare unless you are mischievous yourself and find it fun.

fireworkbang · 02/12/2018 12:58

I still think objecting on the grounds that it's "consumerist" is really tenuous Grin

CryingMessFFS · 02/12/2018 13:00

My mum bought my 2 a cuddly elf toy (not like the elf on the shelf ones) and they’re happy with those. I don’t think they even realise elf on the shelf is a thing, they’re 5 and 3 though! If other children have spoken about their elf I think they assume they’re on about a cuddly toy like theirs

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 02/12/2018 13:03

I never knew that elves became a religion 14 years ago.

Every day’s a school day on MN. Grin

Chanelprincess · 02/12/2018 13:42

I really object on the grounds that people seem increasingly to be drawn into the idea of Christmas as some Mega Magical Month of Wonder where the stakes are constantly upped as to how magical you can make it for your children

Why do you view it as some kind of contest? Some people take a lot pleasure in the magic of Christmas and are not constantly comparing themselves to others as you seem to be.

BakedBeans47 · 02/12/2018 14:04

Just say we don’t believe in it. It’s a doll and not comparable to Santa who is an actual person. I’d have never believed that a toy elf was real when I was a kid, mind you I was a cynical moo.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 02/12/2018 14:21

Fuck the elf. Seriously, fuck him. I can barely manage the standard Christmas preparations, without introducing new, twee ways to fail.

mumlost1940 · 02/12/2018 14:32

I would just leave the whole controversy to The National 'Elf Service.

millimat · 02/12/2018 15:00

I'm so glad that my youngest was just a bit too old when this all became a thing!
What is a Christmas eve box? I've never heard of that one?

BlancheM · 02/12/2018 15:18

Oh for fuck sake, my kids have had a shitty, shitty couple of years and two of them are still young so if I want to have some fun doing something which lights up their mornings and they'll look back fondly on then I will. It's free aswell. It can be a pain in the arse but so are a lot of things. At least it's worth it.
Why should my children have to contend with smug, petty, passive aggressive words such as 'your mum has too much time on her hands', or 'you must be naughty and need an eye keeping on' coming from other children via their parents just because they couldn't be bothered or it doesn't appeal? Horrid attitude to indoctrinate children with.

FrangelicoCandyBoughs · 02/12/2018 15:25

Just popping in to say don’t do it. I decided to try it out this year because Christmas Eve boxes were a big hit with us so assumed this trend must be good too. Biggest mistake I’ve ever made!. We’re two days in and last night DC didn’t go to sleep until 10 because he was so excited about what the elf will do next, then woke up at 6 asking what the elf was gonna do next. I’m hoping they forget about it by next year but know that probably won’t be the case🙄

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 02/12/2018 15:27

The elf is due his time off in lieu to go to Magaluf Christmas ‘19 @FrangelicoCandyBoughs

He’ll be due a break

Pebblespony · 02/12/2018 15:31

I was just in Lidl and heard a little girl say she was going to get up extra early tomorrow to see where the elf was. Sooooo glad it's not in my house.

Cachailleacha · 02/12/2018 16:10

BlancheM What would you like parents to say to their children if they mention the elf but the parents don't want one? I agree that those type of comments are passive aggressive. I would just tell my child that it is a game that some parents play, but they pretend to their child that it is real.

Ontopofthesunset · 02/12/2018 16:49

Chanelprincess, you may not be comparing yourself to other people (though frankly you'll be almost unique amongst the human race if you never do), but clearly some people are. Why do you think we have expressions like 'keeping up with the Joneses?" Why do you think people are constantly hashtagging their lives and filtering their selfies?

In one sense, buying a plastic elf that you arrange every night into different humorous tableaux is a bit of fun and who doesn't want to see the happiness on their little innocent faces, bless them, because it's all about the children? In another sense, it's creating in some people a sense of pressure and anxiety. Have I made Christmas magical enough? What do I do when my children are asking why Billy has an elf and Ellie has a North Pole breakfast?

Even on this thread there are people protesting against the fact that you might actually tell your children the truth about someone else's game because you'll destroy the 'magic' of Christmas for their children.

codswallopandbalderdash · 02/12/2018 17:00

I don't understand the point of Elf on the Shelf - surely it just encourages naughtiness / cheekiness and ups the pre-Christmas hysteria? - it is bad enough in our house with decorations, advent calendars, presents, carrots for reindeers, without a fucking elf to contend with too! Bah Humbug

AutoFilled · 02/12/2018 17:14

I told DDs they are nice and already on the good list. No need for a santa spy. And if they really want one, I will just get them one but I won’t do all the mischief stuff.

QueenStreaky · 02/12/2018 17:15

I did an elf thingy yonks ago before it was A Thing (ds now an adult), but ours was conveniently invisible (because magic) and we only knew it was there when I heard a scuttling around the house, curiously coinciding with times when ds was being a bit naughty Wink.

I would stage-whisper: "SSHH!! He's there!" while nodding dramatically into the corner of the room. For ds that was enough to prompt him to pull his socks up or the elf might report back to FC.

Sorted! And none of that feckin' faffing with elf-related dioramas overnight, either Wink.

Use magic, OP - that's what it's there for Grin.

BlancheM · 02/12/2018 17:20

Cacha what would I like them to say? I don't know, I don't give too much thought to how other people parent as long as they can manage it without bringing down or ridiculing other children/families. I think your suggestion is good or something along those lines.

MummaPI · 02/12/2018 17:24

I told my daughter only the naughty kids get one because they have to be watched!! 😁

fedup2017 · 02/12/2018 17:32

I'm not a fan of elf on the shelf and we don't have one... Primarily because I see it as another thing to do in what is a really hectic month... With Christmas fairs and costumes and plays and concerts... Oh plus a job and housework... Why give yourself another thing to do?
A friend constantly posts on social media about how stressed out she is-she has a lot on her plate .... And yet she does elf on the shelf and Xmas Eve hampers and the rest because she believes if she doesn't she's not a "good mum'"... Which is obviously bullshit. It's another stick to beat ourselves with.
So I think it depends on the age of the child. If my 5 yr old asked I would say we don't need one because FC knows he's trying to be good ( I don't use threat of good behaviour linked to presents anyway-they are good because it's the right thing to do not because of what they get out of it). If 11 yr old asked I would say we choose not to do it. If 15 yr old asked we would probably have a discussion about how the "tradition" has developed as a way to show off on social media and how that isn't necessarily a healthy thing to spend your time and energy on (#makingmemories).

I would say if you have spare energy and money to do it and your children enjoy it then crack on.

millimat · 02/12/2018 17:33

So what is a Christmas eve box?!

theDudesmummy · 02/12/2018 17:59

Sorry if this is dim and I have not RTFT but what is an elf on a shelf? I have never heard of it.

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