It’s actually quite difficult to talk to him about this. When I ask him what he’d like, he says he’d like it to be over, but not in a grinch kind of way. It’s the combination of him being overworked, tired, stressed, and going stir crazy. And also not having great childhood memories. On the surface of things his family do Christmas very well, but there’s so much tension and weird stuff just writhing beneath the surface.
He’s great at doing stuff with the dc, like taking them surfing , or climbing, or on bike rides; just pretty terrible at sitting still or waiting patiently. He’s a great dad, a great dh, and I’ve no complaints about him. He’s just not particularly good at the kid stuff but his heart is definitely in the right place.
Up to now I’ve been focused on the dc, and building up my own boundaries in relation to his family and I haven’t really had the time or energy to really see what was going on with dh. I’ve tried broaching it with him but he finds it hard to identify his own needs; he sort of sees himself as the guy that everyone else depends on.
It’s not that I want him to turn him into Mr Christmas, but I’d like to make a tough time of year a bit easier on him, and maybe even a bit of fun.
I think an advent calendar could be nice if I can think of enough things to put in
Walks are a good idea. I take the kids for a walk during the week, but we could definitely do that on a weekend too.
He’s watching his weight so I don’t want to do too much food based stuff.
I’m aiming for that sweet spot of getting that good feeling going without him noticing that he’s become a project iykwim