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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Making Christmas more enjoyable for dh

38 replies

Alanamackree · 22/11/2018 13:58

I really enjoy the run up to Christmas with the dc. Through December we do lots of crafts and cooking and it’s just generally nice.
DH works longer hours through December and work is more stressful too. He has to attend two work functions that he dreads. By the time he gets Christmas holidays he’s shattered, and often a bit under the weather for a day or two as it all catches up on him.
His family can be quite demanding through Christmas too which is a whole other thread.
DS has asd so we don’t do a lot of Christmas outings. Tbh that suits me well enough but when DH is home at holidays or weekends he’s itching to go out and do stuff. It’s not a problem at other times of the year but round Christmas it becomes really difficult. Circling a car park looking for a space can get ds wound up before the outing even begins. Queues, the sudden contrast between being too cold then too hot, the crowds....it’s a nightmare.
But DH doesn’t want to go out alone either.
He’s not really one for playing board games or even playing at all with the dc, or sitting through children’s movies.

I’d like to figure out ways to make the run up to Christmas a little nicer for dh.
I feel that Christmas ends up being a bit meh for him but I’m not sure how to change that. Any ideas?

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Parttimewasteoftime · 22/11/2018 22:48

Love the national trust idea ours NT place is lovely lit up.
Plenty of WhatsApp picture for Dad the coat hear up OP that's so sweet do that...

Parttimewasteoftime · 22/11/2018 22:49

Heat up

Gizlotsmum · 23/11/2018 07:26

I don't know if this would work but brewers do ground coffee in packets that have a filter so you can get a proper coffee pretty much on the go! My husband loved them.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 23/11/2018 09:56

If babysitting is tricky, how about making sure the house looks lovely and welcoming when he gets home through December. Once it starts getting dark I make sure the downstairs is tidy, has wintry scented candles lit, lamps are on rather than overhead lights and we have nice comforting meals and a glass of wine. Forget the idea that Christmas is just for children and make a real effort to get kids in bed early when there aren't activities and embrace the season together a little bit with good movies/box sets.

Our former nanny used to do this for me when I got home from work (not the cooking obviously) and it made me really enjoy walking through the door in winter. It just felt really nurturing when I was usually exhausted and full of cold. Didn't mind the mess and chaos in the summer.

Alanamackree · 23/11/2018 13:06

paddling that sounds lovely. I want your nanny!! I think you’re right about needing to get my head around “grown up Christmas”.

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Alanamackree · 23/11/2018 13:15

I love the lunchbox suggestion! I used to do stuff like that when we were married first. The dc get little portions of fruit and veg and shaped sandwiches just to tempt them to bloody well eat so it really wouldn’t be a bother to add a bit of interest to his lunch too.

Will check out that coffee too.

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BiddyPop · 23/11/2018 14:13

Alan if you're near Dublin, there is an indoor skiing place in Sandyford where it's a white astroturf laid over a very wide travellator type floor - actually great fun! Or there's the outdoor artificial ski slope in Kilternan (we haven't tried that one).

Would you get out into the mountains or a national park or forest somewhere within a reasonable distance for a family walk? Looking for animal tracks, or signs of what nature is doing in winter, practicing map reading, challenging each other about "will we make it up to that rocky spot?" etc. Could be nice to find a good coffee shop or pub towards the end of the walk (shortly before the end or not long in the car to get there after) for a hot drink and maybe a treat - even if watching weight, a good walk allows some extra calories to be consumed.

For breakfasts, while a full Irish might be a bit much, there are other options that are not so calorific but good to sit around. Fluffy scrambled eggs with smoked salmon (or bacon) and cherry tomatoes on toast is still filling but not as bad as all the meat. Or proper juice and a bowl of fruit salad (can make that the night before) and a cafetiere of coffee. Or pancakes with a choice of bacon, maple syrup, Nutella, or berries.

I like the idea of heating DH's coat. And trying to corral the DC "crazy" so the house is calm and welcoming when DH gets home - I know that the clutter and chaos really annoys DH in our house (whereas I walk through, drop things as I go, and start into making dinner).

If babysitting is tricky, and it is a good time of year to find local teens looking for babysitting jobs, could you do "date night" at home? DCs eat early, and either are put to bed on time/slightly early, or older DCs are "persuaded" (perhaps bribed) to head to their rooms quietly (watch something on Netflix on a tablet? given a new book/comic they will be absorbed by? 2 allowed to play a quiet game together without interfering smaller DCs?) - allowing you and DH to enjoy a relaxed dinner together downstairs. Set the table nicely, use side lamps/candles, and while not necessarily dress like going to a ball - wear something comfortable and nice and a little bit dressed up.

Are there little things you could do for DH, like putting a festive treat in the car/coat pocket for his commute, making sure the tank is filled with petrol to save him a trip, picking up a favourite beer/wine/gingerbeer/non alcoholic drink to have with dinner one night (or a Christmas/Winter beer if he would try it? Deveneys in Dundrum have a good selection usually, but others will have some options).

The only place I know for sure that does small packets of coffee beans (and will grind them if you want) is Mahers in Cork city. But there is a coffee place in Dun Laoghaire that I keep meaning to try and they look like they might do similar.

On bad weather days, especially if DH has to commute even part way on public transport (which is miserable in winter!), could you pop a pair of reusable hand warmers in his pockets/gloves? You click them to heat them up, and then boil them for about 10 minutes to recharge them afterwards (I usually do ours in a seperate pot when boiling pasta as they take about the same amount of time).

And have dry (and warm on radiator?) socks ready when he gets in on wet miserable evenings to change.

Going to try to take some of my own advice now and do a few more things for DH....Xmas Grin

flapjackfairy · 23/11/2018 14:48

Just buy yourself a sexy Santa outfit and surprise him under the mistletoe. That should cheer his Christmas right up.

Loopytiles · 23/11/2018 15:06

Yesyes to posh breakfasts - personally dislike fry ups but there are millions of lovely (and not too calorific) breakfast ideas on Pinterest. Bacon sarnies aren’t too calorific.

I have a similar work / commute situation and get stressed about xmas. Also get anxious in crowds, loud places etc.

Self care really helps - veggies, warm drinks, warm coat, gloves and scarf on the commute and so on.

Sounds like active stuff could be a winner. Would DH (or you!) enjoy going for the odd jog, walk, swim or gym session alone?

Reduce commitments with the tricky extended family?

Misty9 · 23/11/2018 17:18

You sound like such a lovely spouse OP. Last year I bought dh a coffee advent calendar from pact (online ethical company) and he loved and raved about it (and he raves about very little).

frenchknitting · 23/11/2018 22:31

Another advent calendar idea:

  • £5 greggs/costas voucher so he can get a bacon roll in the way to work one morning
Alanamackree · 24/11/2018 08:40

Thanks @Biddy, that’s all very useful. I must root out the hand warmers. Until you mentioned them I’d forgotten they existed.
@flapjack I like your style Wink
@Loopytiles sorry to hear you find the commute and crowds hard this time of year. Sounds like you have some really great self care strategies. I’ll try to be mindful of healthy treats as well as indulgent ones. I think he might appreciate more veggie nibbles to snack on. I can easily do a platter at the weekend.
@Misty9 Not sure I am but trying to be. It’s a bit of an eye opener how many of the little things I’ve let slide. I’ll check out pact coffee. It’s always good to find an ethical company too. Thanks
@frenchknitting there’s a vista just opened near where he works so that could be a winner!

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CraicGalore · 24/11/2018 08:55

I'm loving this thread. This me too - a trip out is better for me than snuggling in at home. We are all different.

Things that I like:

  • outdoor ice skating followed by luxe hot chocolate
  • walking in the woods, especially if lit up for Xmas
  • trip out to get baubles and small decorations
  • meeting friends and their families for brunch or breakfast. If this isn't the done thing, suggest it! Saves on washing up ;)

A lot of places in Ireland shut down between Xmas and New Year (e.g. swimming etc.) which can be tough if you work up to Christmas Eve and then went to feel festive.

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