Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

No adults presents - works both ways?

68 replies

Gweipo · 10/11/2018 17:30

My Dad has told me he is no longer buying presents for adults as it is too much hassle. Fair enough, I agree with this as it is all getting too much. He is only buying for the young DC in the family.

However, he has told me what presents he wants off me and what I should buy for his girlfriend. This is going to come to about £100.

Now that I have thought about it I am a bit . I appreciate the presents he is buying my DC but they don't need anything. A chocolate Santa will suffice. Now we have had the difficult discussion about not buying adults, started by him, I am thinking that actually I don't want to buy adults either.

OP posts:

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 13/11/2018 16:13

I think it needed to be said. Bad enough he prioritises his gf's family but not getting presents because he cba adds insult to injury.
You don't need counselling - you just need your dad not to be shitty!
And tell your brothers to butt out - your relationship with your dad is between you and him.

goose1964 · 13/11/2018 18:51

My dad CBA to buy presents, we normally get a joint cheque from him plus a few token gifts. It's no excuse.

IMO no adults presents means for any adult not just some

AvoidingDM · 13/11/2018 19:29

Op I think you said what needed to be said. Hope you are feeling better and your brothers support you.

StoneMe · 13/11/2018 19:40

Well done, what was his reaction?

Holidayshopping · 13/11/2018 20:03

And what did he say?!

neurotransmittens · 13/11/2018 20:04

I would give a token gift, chocs or something made from your DC.
We all know the festive season should be the season of giving but that doesn't mean giving at a price. Your DF has made a suggestion of no gifts for adults, he (and his girlfriend) are adults so yes it goes both ways.
He has a bloody cheek to give you a list

neurotransmittens · 13/11/2018 20:06

Correction, not that Christmas should be all about giving. I meant it as more of the thought that counts kind of thing

junebirthdaygirl · 13/11/2018 20:37

As siblings we stopped buying adult presents. But we still bought for my parents. Everyone bought for the dc. We felt our dps deserved it after all the years of buying for them. We enjoyed treating them.

Original poster

Gweipo · 13/11/2018 21:27

He just kept quiet and listened. I had to check he was still there. Then he just said he would speak to me some other time. He will be sulking and act like a baby for a few days and when my DB sees how he is I will get a phone call about it.

Now that I have said it I feel better and I am prepared to back it up. They all think badly of me anyway so if the hat fits I may as well wear it.

My DH said something that made me feel sad. He said that we have focused on everyone else and their demands to the point that we don't get each other anything decent and it is totally not on.

OP posts:

AvoidingDM · 13/11/2018 21:35

Gweipo, that is really sad that your expected to spend hundreds on your Dad and his GF and are scrimping on your DH. Your DH sounds a lovely guy whos waited for you to wake up to your Dad.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 13/11/2018 21:42

Listen to your dh - he and your children are your family. You dad doesn't put you first and doesn't deserve the time, money and effort you have been putting into him.

KC225 · 13/11/2018 23:03

Another one who thinks that you needed to have that conversation with your Dad. Its out there now, you relax, let him digest it. Don't engage with your brother - you gave your Dad ample opportunity to state his opinion/air his views but he chose to end the conversation. Tell your brother - Iif wants me to know what he thinks he knows my number.

Listen to your DH. Have a wonderful family Christmas, spend the money you would have done on the adults (GF's grandchildren?) to buy each other something nice or go out for a christmassy date.

DonutCone · 14/11/2018 09:33

I don’t get why he should be buying your children presents and getting nothing back though?

Original poster

Gweipo · 14/11/2018 09:37

He will get something back. I just won't be spending £100 on him and his GF. It will be a thoughtful something from the DC.

OP posts:

AvoidingDM · 14/11/2018 09:48

That sounds a good plan and exactly what I would do, something from the kids and not from you.

zzzzz · 14/11/2018 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

irregularegular · 14/11/2018 09:51

I find his instructions to buy him and his girlfriend fairly expensive gifts extremely odd and rude.

Having said that, I would have still bought him a gift if he hadn't asked. He is buying for your children, so it seems nice for him to get something from your family.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 14/11/2018 12:08

He will get something back. I just won't be spending £100 on him and his GF. It will be a thoughtful something from the DC.

That is what we do. We've mostly dropped the adult presents and I just buy something small but thoughtful from the children for everyone who buys them something.

My Uncles usually request something alcoholic, one of my Aunt's who doesn't have any children of her own (and I'm her only niece) wants a copy of the calendar we make for Grandparents and so on.

Flip

1 2 3