Do you scale down spending on your children once they get older?

[Honeyroar]

If so at what age?

Older as in adults? I think most people see a bell curve which peaks around 14-18 and then slides down again.

Yes. He's about to turn 21.

I think my parents always spend about same on my brothers and I even now in our 30s.

Which is about £100 btw.

That's kind of what I'd like to spend nowadays (we've probably spent £200 or so in the past).

Yes, after 18 they go down to 'adult rations' and I spend around £50. When they are children it is over £150.
All 3 of them have accepted it happily. They already buy anything they want to own by themselves so now it's back to it being a proper gift, where I choose something for them to tell them I love them. With my little girl, toys are an important part of her growing up and moving through stages. She has no income so can't buy her own books, dvds, clothes etc like her siblings can.

My parents are in their 80s & have considerably scaled UP they are trying to off load cash & we get very generous Christmas & birthday cheques.

Our own DS is 17 & we give around £150 - actual gifts for £50 ish & £100 for him to spend as he chooses, he puts most of it in his savings account. I think we will probably continue the same amount, allowing for inflation I assume.

Certainly my parents and parents of my friends scaled it down once we hit late teens/early 20s. I think by that age I'd have been, not embarrassed exactly but it would have felt a bit strange to be an adult getting a gift pile or particularly expensive items from other adults. It just seems an age when exchanging gifts should be a more equal thing if that makes sense?

Saying that there have been some Christmases when they've been very generous for specific reasons which was certainly appreciated but not expected every year.

I think we will actually scale up this year (dc = 23 and 21) because we've got more cash now than we had when they were younger.

Thanks. I don't feel quite so mean now! I'm a step mum and I think my husband would carry on spending more. He's also been on sick pay for five months this year, so finances are very tight this year. I think we need a more frugal Xmas. I was feeling like the wicked stepmother.

My DParents started scaling down when they retired...until then they were earning significantly more than we were (DDad’s pension was more than I was earning at 30!).

Spend about the same but never loads plus now they have
OHs will incorporate them in same amount so not spending more

Mine are 19 and 25 and we haven’t scaled back , although we have never price matched or had an actual budget either so some years we spend £150-200 another year it may be nearer £8/900.

The ‘children’ are certainly old enough to understand that you need to considerably scale back if one of you is on sick pay, you need to be honest with them. We have gone through stages of having much less money (self employed) & DS has always understood if some years presents were more ‘modest’.

My mum and dad have scaled down since I got older/had dc, which is fine. I wouldn’t like to ask them for anything that cost more than £25 - if they asked what I would like, although I think in reality they end up spending more around £50. My dh’s parents seem to spend the same as when he and his siblings were younger. I don’t think either is wrong, but I certainly don’t mind the scaled back version - might actually feel a bit awkward if they spent loads.

Yes as they’re earning etc it would seem odd to give them a pile of presents. But in saying that I’d probably spend a similar amount on something practical like paying rent for one month so they can treat themselves.

Always think adult children no longer living at home maybe need a bit more not less unless they are on a good salary. I know mine rely on being able to buy with money we have given them/ask for something special for Christmas and birthday as they have to stick to a budget the rest of the year. However bearing in mind your circumstances I think it is sensible and reasonable.

Depends what the older DC are doing I guess...both DBro and I were students for a long time so parents were generous as we couldn't afford to buy stuff for ourselves.
We didn't always get the the same amount spent on us but we obviously understood - eg when I had a good job DBro was studying, then when DBro was working I was a SAHM etc.

Late teens / early 20s I think it is starting to look like scale down in turns of number of gifts but scale up in terms of cost. Student ds would really like an iPad Pro and Apple Pencil for his course so will probably buy that. Would never have spent that much on toys/general stuff.

My DDs are almost 21 and 26 and this year we are giving them £250 each plus i will buy them gifts too open on the day probably totalling about £100. We can afford it so it's no problem. If we couldn't they would get less.

Wish my parents gave me £100

I think once my kids are working and supporting themselves I will only spend around £30-£40, at the moment they are early teens and I spend up to £300 each (don’t get much for your money).

No, if anything we spend more. Both at uni. £500 cash and then a stocking, probably another £200. Saving a lot not having them at home !

Should add, 1 is post grad and saving to buy a home next year. The other is a saver and do I expect it will al go into the bank. They have house buy isa as well.

Spend a fortune on our 5 adult DD's. Absolutely love Christmas and do it with gay abandon to be honest. They have stockings, themed hampers and presents under the tree. I just adore Christmas - DH thinks I'm mad but goes along with it in an affable kind of a way. [DD's know once we're retired this won't be happening though so are making the most of it.]
To qualify we do very understated birthdays but Christmas is and always has been the big deal for me.

I will spend £500 on each child (16/14/10). We dont have holidays (as in 2 weeks over summer innthe sun) just the odd weekend break, so I’m happy to justify it. Girls - older 2 - will get £250 in cash so the can go shopping then its a Jack Wills hoodie, trainers, item of jewellery, etc. Youngest will get a PS4 with a few other hits.

I dont buy for DH and ge doesn’t buy for me. Dad is happy with slippers and a few cans of beer, small irems for my brother/SIL and £15 cash each for their 2.