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Christmas

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Original poster

No main gift

57 replies

Fullofthought · 10/10/2018 19:53

My 6 year old DD has given me ideas of what to buy for her Christmas and birthday ( Jan) it comes to 615 in total before clothes and sweets. She's had a very awful year and I want to spoil her. But she doesn't have a main gift for either birthday or Christmas. Would you cut a few of the things that she really wants to get her a main gift or get what you know she wants.

OP posts:
anniehm · 11/10/2018 07:46

Personally I think it's way too much for a birthday and Christmas, we have winter birthdays here too so we keep a bit of the annual budget back for the summer - things not appropriate to buy in winter. Even if money isn't an issue, spoiling kids makes problems in the long run

SoyDora · 11/10/2018 07:49

I didn’t really know that a ‘main gift’ was a thing! I buy my DC things that I know they will like and play with, without any rules on ‘main gifts’.
Plus a wii sounds pretty ‘main’ to me!

bookmum08 · 11/10/2018 08:02

Good grief. Another thread where I obviously live on an alternative planet. £615 is a crazy amount. I seriously doubt the child wants all she has suggested in one go. How overwhelming for her. And since when is a Nintendo Wii a 'small' present. Crazy.

GreenTulips · 11/10/2018 08:04

Mine get £40 gift for birthday and around £150 for Christmas so yes it's a lot

Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly · 11/10/2018 08:26

I always read these threads and wonder why posters think they are qualified to make the decision of what is 'too much' to spend on a child. Some of you seem to have a competition to see how little you can fork out for Christmas and birthdays. My child probably gets around 800 a year between Christmas and birthdays. That is not too much.

snifflesnifflesnore · 11/10/2018 08:36

@Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly agreed. I spend about $500 at Christmas and $300 on birthdays for my ds. I have the money, so it's not an issue.

ipswichmum · 11/10/2018 08:47

I agree with the 2 people's comments before mine. I don't think it's a lot. I have spent more than that on my 12 year old daughter for Christmas alone. And no she isn't a spoilt brat. At the end of the day it is up to everyone what they wish to spend on there own children. How little or how much is up to them. I feel sorry for people who put themselves into debt just to be able to buy presents for there children but I know that the world can be a hard place for people to get by in. We all want to be happy and see our children happy. In regards to the op I think your list sounds good. I would buy the wii as a main present but I would get a new one if you can afford it as you never know how a used one may last. You can often get good deals around Black Friday etc. I ❤️ Christmas 🎄🤗🎅🏼 xx

Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly · 11/10/2018 08:50

I don't think amounts of money spoil a child. What spoils a child is allowing them to have an entitled attitude. My son might have a fair amount spent on him, but he knows if his attitude took the piss, I'd not hesitate to give him nothing but a card and a selection box for Christmas or a card and a cake on his birthday.

apostropheuse · 11/10/2018 09:20

OP, as you didn't ask for your joint birthday/Christmas budget to be judged it's nobody else's business Hmm

I agree with the others who have said that the Wii is a main gift, but even if it wasn't, having a few smaller gifts is fine.

stridesy · 11/10/2018 09:35

The wii would be the main Xmas present.
The birthday I would do the smaller bunch of gifts.

PegLegAntoine · 11/10/2018 09:46

There is no way a wii is not a main gift surely, even if second hand? Although it is quite an outdated one I guess.

ballseditupforever · 11/10/2018 09:52

Depends what your household budget is really but if you came on here to say you had totted up your child's Christmas presents and they came to £300 few people would be saying that was outrageous. Ditto her birthday. I probably spend more than that if I was to sit down and tot up every last thing. You know if you can afford it op. That said, I do believe less is more. When they have dozens of gifts they get little pleasure out of them individually and imo take less care of their stuff.

Has she got a bike? I think a bike is a pretty awesome aged 6 gift.

Mrsr8 · 11/10/2018 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 11/10/2018 11:14

She's your daughter. Spoil her if you want. One extravagant Christmas won't turn her into an entitled brat. I wouldn't recommend getting yourself into debt to fund Christmas, but if you can afford it, where the harm?
Like PPs have said, I wouldn't worry about a main present. Getting the things SHE actually WANTS is much more important.
£300 for Christmas and birthday is a lot but it's not crazy money. If we get tablets for the DC (more for our own sanity) then we will have spent over £300 each on them this year, but they won't be getting such a big main present in the future, so probably around £150 each.
Hope things get better for her.

RuthW · 11/10/2018 12:32

I've never done a main gift for my dd.

Bumbumtaloo · 11/10/2018 12:37

I think lots of small little things are fine. We don’t tend to do a main gift as such for our dd’s unless they want something like a bike, that becomes a main gift. I don’t go out of my way to find a big item just because they don’t have a main gift. Although as others have said to me, the Nintendo Wii would be a big gift.

BlueNeighbourhood · 11/10/2018 13:33

This is why I absolutely love Christmas threads on Mumsnet, the bargain hunters cannot possibly understand that people can and want to spend more money than they do on their children for Christmas and birthdays.

Some people need to get a grip, just because you think getting your child some build a blocks for Christmas and a stocking is a great gift doesn't mean that everyone has to do the same. This is what makes the world a great place as everyone is different. £615 is in no way too much to spend at Christmas on a child as long as you can afford it and as long as it's lots of things the child will want.

Put your pearls away.

crosstalk · 11/10/2018 14:05

OP I'm not a pearl clutcher. But I think £615 is a lot for a 6 yr old even if it is £300 for Christmas and a January birthday. And she doesn't need the message that your spending will make up for a very awful year. I'd be spending that money on things what would solve the awful year but since you haven't explained why I'm not sure. Think how it might escalate? what if you can't afford to patch up with money in the future?

BlueNeighbourhood · 11/10/2018 14:22

crosstalk - I don't think the OP is asking for advice on how much to spend for Christmas or the message behind her gift giving. As a parent it is up to her how much she spends and on what for her own child - just as it is for the rest of us. It's her decision to make, not anyone else on this thread or outside for that matter.

At six years old toys (especially these lol doll things) can cost a fortune, a six year old doesn't really have a huge concept of money and the cost of items, especially if she's not growing up in poverty and made a list as most six year olds would - with a lot of plastic and toys. I think that her daughter won't have a clue of the value of the items and as she gets older things will change or who knows, the OP may financially may be in a much better position and could buy more things for her but that's the OP's decision to make, not us.

Original poster
Fullofthought · 11/10/2018 16:04

She has been a victim of a assault should we say and it's been a year from hell with the police and social services and all the police interviews shes had and examinations.

OP posts:
ProfessorBranestawm · 11/10/2018 16:32

Oh poor love :( how awful for you all, I’m so sorry.

I would think very carefully about the message you are sending by giving excessive (in comparison to previous years) amounts etc. What message it sends, how it will link up her feelings with spending money etc in future.

This is absolutely 100% NOT meant in a judgy way. This is me speaking as someone who went through what I’m guessing is similar as a very young child. Just suggesting it may be better to consider keeping Christmas and present giving as normal as possible for your little girl Thanks

PodgeBod · 11/10/2018 17:43

I'm so sorry to hear that your little girl has been through so much. FWIW I don't think it's crazy money, it's a lot more then we spend but we spend what we can manage. I'm sure she will have a magic Christmas and birthday.

I agree with others that the Wii is the main gift.

FinallyHere · 11/10/2018 17:51

I am all for getting people exactly what they want ... but am a bit taken aback with the idea of spending literally hundreds of pounds on someone, even if it is for Christmas and birthdays.

How many adults have £615 to spend on themselves ?

Redgreencoverplant · 11/10/2018 19:03

I am intrigued as to what you would consider a main gift OP? As a Wii qualifies surely? I completely understand your desire to spoil her after such an awful experience but perhaps presents isn't the way to go? Maybe some trips out together, enjoyable times spent together?

Original poster
Fullofthought · 11/10/2018 19:57

The Wii cost 12.00 with 10 games so don't class that as a main gift to be fair. Normally she gets a Lego set like the hospital or she gets the alien camera. I usually get a main gift for birthday and Christmas but guess if she's getting what she wants she won't be bothered about the main gift.

OP posts:
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