Who are kids presents from? Santa or you?

[starfish8]

Couldn't summarise that well in a title. My ds is now 5 so he's going to be more aware this Christmas about how things work.

How do you explain to your kids who presents are from? When I was a child my mum said Santa delivers them but mummy's/daddy's send them off to him. I think she wanted us to know that they contribute to them.

I know others say certain presents are from Santa and others from them, like a particular gift or the stocking presents.

Feel like I need to get my script together before the questions start!

We buy them and send them to Santa. He's just a delivery service in our house although he does get a few little things and wraps them in his own paper. It makes it more believable for longer and we get the credit for three good presents...

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It wasn't a socio economic reason in our house for the delivery service. It just makes it more realistic when answering kids questions and thus they believe for longer. It also explains why some kids get nothing and some get a lot. My dd was only three when she asked why we were packing a charity gift box. "Why doesn't FC deliver presents to them?" Worth the delivery service explanation she went on to believe for write a few more years.

If Elf on a Shelf had been invented in those days, the myth of Christmas would have been blown really early. It's just not believable.

Santa brings the stocking and one decent present per child in our house but the "main present" has always been from mum and dad. My kids are well past the Santa stage but there is still a stocking and a "Santa present".

It’s a class and money thing and yes, a Mumsnet thing Blue because word gets around here and people go to the lowest denominator because that is how society works.

There was a big council estate in our town. The children who lived there got more presents (still being paid off the following September) from their parents than anyone from the private estate. Nothing from Santa, all from parents. We got everything except one present from Santa (well, Father Christmas) and not nearly as much.

Something to do with having to prove yourself I think...

@winterhappiness I always felt Christmas was (and is!) completely magical, with FC simply bringing stockings. Honestly, pre mumsnet, neither DH nor I realised that anyone had FC/Santa bring all the gifts. That’s just not how our families (or anyone we know) did it. Perhaps it is a bit of a regional thing or something? I don’t think that there is any right or wrong way as I genuinely think you can make it wonderful and magical whatever your family traditions.

Fucking. I thought it was the other way actually. I've lived in a whole mix of areas and it was the more working class areas where there were a ton of presents under the tree from santa and/or a giant stocking with a ton of presents. Santa brings the big ticket items and parents go overboard (imho) for the "magic" and buying stuff.

My extended family are all rather posh/rich (im not!) And in wealthier areas it seemed more likely to have less of a focus on santa and an absolute ton of presents. More likely a stocking and maybe something under the tree - following the more traditional hanging out a stocking.

Im in a poorer area currently and people go to town buying stuff from santa to make it "magical ." An incredible amount really relative to income.

Relatively little things in stockings only from FC. All else from family. Always that way in my family and now with dd and her two. Particularly if money is tight, stops them asking for/expecting anything too big/expensive/impossible. Plus they realise that people must be thanked for whatever they've given.

@winterhappiness your Christmas sounds like mine! I take credit by knowing my kids will know the magic of Christmas. Regardless of who got what, I came from a huge family and we met up at my grandparents on Christmas afternoon. Each individual family had a different amount of children and a different income, we never compared even between ourselves on the day. 'tim' liked what he received and I liked what I received, that was the end of that. We questioned nothing? 🤷🏻‍♂️

”Stop overthinking it, and let kids be kids for the few years that they get to be”

In fairness, @winterhappiness, we do Christmas very different,y from you (stockings from FC, all other presents from us or the friends/relatives who sent them), and our children’s christmases were lovely, magical times, and I am sure they got to be kids just as much as yours did. It is perfectly possible to do things differently, and for Christmas to be just as good.

@winterhappiness your post made me think. My daughter’s list is so long; my son’s is less but much more expensive. I’ve been going in and on at her not to ask for much because “I can’t afford to send this much money to Santa”. Maybe I should just let her be, and as you say, tell her to choose favourites.

sack from Santa everything else from us

Mine is only 4. It's never been a long list but I always say you might not get everything on the list anyway so she knows

We open gifts from family and friends and gifts we have bought each other on Christmas Eve. The DCs buy me gifts and buy gifts for each other (or make something). I don't buy anything for the Christmas Eve gift giving.

Everything under the tree is from Santa. Even though none of my DCs believes in Santa any more, the surprise factor is still there. I enjoy providing it all and they enjoy being on the receiving end.

We have little stockings that get filled with chocolates. They are about 4 inches high, and there is no room for anything else in them. I think the concept of presents in a stocking is a British thing anyway, and we are an Irish/American family.

I always thought that it was important for children to feel that somewhere out there there is a wonderful, magnanimous being who just showers gifts, that there is good in the universe.

Princess
Honestly, pre mumsnet, neither DH nor I realised that anyone had FC/Santa bring all the gifts. That’s just not how our families (or anyone we know) did it. Perhaps it is a bit of a regional thing or something?

Weirdly, until I joined MN, I had assumed Christmas stockings were something that only belonged in Enid Blyton books.

I think it's quite a British thing, but it's probably regional too.

I disagree with the 'more money = Santa/less money = parents' analysis.

I don't know anyone who does what so many people here seem to do, and never knew anyone growing up who did it that way either (i.e. the idea of mum and dad bringing Christmas gifts, with Santa's gifts in the stocking.) I grew up in Ireland and live in the US, and never came across this in any socio economic group.

A present on the end of their bed when they wake up, their stocking, and the main present are from the big guy. Everything else from us.

I'm happy for him to get the credit for the few short years they believe in all this. It will be over all too soon.

We do about 75% from mum and dad and 25% from Santa. Even for the 14 year old. We also buy a chocolate lindt reindeer and wrap from Rudolph to say thanks for the carrot. Then we do a family present to mum, dad, DS and DD from Santa - usually some sort of family board game that we can all play together, think we did trivial pursuit family edition last year.

Stocking from Santa, under the tree presents from mummy and daddy.

Definitely this.

Though I'm also, erm, older and friends got all their presents from FC growing up.

I think we had stocking from FC and one wrapped present but it was always tongue in cheek anyway.

I think the concept of presents in a stocking is a British thing anyway, and we are an Irish/American family

That’s really interesting, my dads wife is Canadian and we had never bothered with stockings, even through my childhood. She has always been really big on stocking fillers or stocking stuffers as she calls them and puts so much in them. Her family and friends are the same.

I can't reconcile this with the dc asking for impossible or expensive items.

There's so much you can say! He has a budget for all the dc in the world, some dc don't have much so he can't give too much... He doesn't have all the gifts to hand so he has to decide what's best to give with some surprises?

Mine have never got everything on a list at all it's mostly been (affordable) surprises!!

They are not spoiled or compare what others get or even notice. I guess if they had cousins at similar age all sat together they would notice vast differences.. But they just accept and are grateful for what they get.

Mine never got everything on a list either. They always accepted that they might get only one or two things from a list plus maybe one or two other items. The luck of the draw aspect of it all was fine with them.

I used to do them all from santa but last year i did the big gift from us the rest from santa,this year im doing the same.
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I haven't really thought about it deeply as I don't bother with tags and bows on the presents, i just wrap them in paper. it gets ripped and straight in the bin and little man is only just starting to learn to read. He's only just coming up to 5 and still believes in Santa and asks if he can ask Santa for such and such if he sees something he likes. He knows he should be good and in the past my mum used to tell him this red security light she has in her house was a Santa cam as long as he enjoys the presents and is grateful I'm happy whether he thinks it's me or Santa, I want him to enjoy the magic as long as he can. He knows when presents are brought to him by people though e.g. the grandparents or aunt's etc. So he can thank them for their gifts.

Santa brings one present under the tree each and stockings. The rest are from us/ relatives and labelled that way