If there's no FC, how is it magical?

[skinnysituation]

DC is still a bit young to completely understand and DH hates Christmas, so not much help.

If you don't do 'Father Christmas' how do you still make it special and a bit magical? Are there any traditions I could adopt for future years that would still deliver that excitement?

Feeling a little sad DC won't have that joyous anticipation of Father Christmas delivering/filling a stocking that I experienced.

Ontopofthesunset

No one is saying that these events are not fun, nor that the weeks that lead up to christmas is not enjoyable, but for many children the main event is Santa, going to bed on christmas eve and waking up to see what he has left in the morning.

That's the main part.

And the fun of christmas has nothing to do with fun times at other parts of the year.

Yes, but it wouldn't be the main event if we didn't hype it up so much. It's still really exciting to come down to presents under the tree put there by your parents. My children did love the excitement of Father Christmas, but I just find the emphasis on its importance a bit strange, to be honest.

I hate Christmas but went through all the FC stuff and tree and advent calendar etc when the children were little.
Enjoyed lying in bed when they woke and heard them shouting “He’s been”

However they are both teens (18 and 16) now and this year we are having a Christmas Day I want. On a beach somewhere very hot. With absolutely no reference to anything festive

We don't do Father Christmas. DCs still get presents. They still get overly excited because they are getting presents. It's the presents they want. Not Father Christmas.

Christmas is magical because the house is transformed with decorations, parties, lovely food, Christmas markets, presents, family time. I don't think you need Father Christmas to make it magical.

If you told DCs there is no Father Christmas but they will still get the same amount of presents and a stocking I don't see that they would care that much!

If you told DCs there is no Father Christmas but they will still get the same amount of presents and a stocking I don't see that they would care that much

But FC brings more presents

What's the point of the stocking if no Santa?

The magical Christmases from my childhood were the ones I believed in Santa. That's not to say they aren't fun in their own way after that but there is nothing magical about knowing it's your parents putting presents under your tree and your stocking on the bed.

OP, it's only a few years they believe and you sound like you want to do it and create those memories for your DC. If your DH won't budge at all I suggest you take DC to a relative and enjoy it there.

I'm surprised how many people appear to think their child will be a social outcast if they don't do 'FC is literally true', or that parents have some kind of social duty to ensure their child believes in FC so that they don't tell other children.

My six year old is in a small village school, and out of the 23 other children in his class, I reckon four or five don't do FC, whether because they're from an ethnic/religious background that doesn't celebrate Christmas, or from a culture that does celebrate Christmas, but has someone other than FC bringing the presents. DS accepts without being particularly bothered that X does Eid or whatever instead.

But FC brings more presents

Sorry to break it to you but he isn't real. He doesn't bring more presents you decide to buy more and pretend they are from Father Christmas.

Ooh this would make me so mad! The magic of Christmas can be a magical part of childhood and your OH can't be arsed! This would be a huge deal breaker for me, do it anyway and tell him it isn't about his needs, when you have kids you do things you don't want to do to make them happy

I think children like receiving presents. The idea that some of them come from FC is a magical part of that enjoyment for them but only a part.

Our tradition is 'FC does the stocking, other presents are from people'. As a child, FC might have left one or two things under the tree too - but from 5 or 6 I knew they were really from my parents. That didn't alter the enjoyment of receiving or the fun of the game of mutual pretence.

I wonder if the strongly pro-FC people are the ones who make all presents from FC, or do the (in my view weird and over-complicated) 'FC as delivery service' thing?

What's the point of the stocking if no Santa?

Presents.

Yes, presents - and, keeping the dc quiet until 7am!

Yes, presents - and, keeping the dc quiet until 7am!

And this!!

When people say they don't do FC and give all the gifts themselves.

I just get the impression of parents making sure their DC know every present was bought by them. Almost like they cannot share the thanks.

lottiegarbanzo - I'm not sure it correlates. I'm very pro Santa. In our house he brings the stocking (as someone else pointed out not sure what the point of them is otherwise?), a few presents they put on a list and a few surprises. Everything else is from us. I don't get the Santa delivery service either...

But for me, 'the magic of Christmas' isn't just 'getting stuff' and wasn't, even as a child (though that was a big part of it). It was the way that everybody dropped everything else and devoted their attention to taking part in this festival. Part of that is including people who would otherwise left out; the relatives, people far from their families, or without families.

So for me, even as a child, inclusion and 'total celebration', which includes a giving / receiving element that changes emphasis from receiving to giving as you get older, is 'the magic of Christmas'.

Therefore also, an emphasis on material stuff that doesn't also emphasise inclusion, participation and celebration, is to me, really not 'in the spirit of Christmas'.

Hence why I feel the OP's DH has it very, very wrong. I would want to know why and really discuss that and its implications with him.

I grew up without Christmas - it was totally miserable and I felt so left out. Tell your DH it's not about him and to just suck it up. It's one day!

It's magical because of decorations, sparkly lights, the joy of spending time together with family and friends and being thankful for what we've got in terms of each other, and the presents are gestures of thoughtfulness and love, rather than a measure of how good you are. Plus food, making gingerbread houses, mince pies, together etc. It's more about the stuff we do together that make the traditions. The christmas carol CD that comes out every year to go on while we decorate the tree, making a new decoration each year and hanging up the ones from past years.

We don't do father christmas. We do have stockings, but the kids know the gifts are from us. I don't think it's scarred them for life, and they know that father christmas is a game some people play with their kids, and the most important part of the game is that it's for the parents to tell the kids he's not real, not for other kids to do that.

You can do Santa and teach kids about giving and receiving gifts at Christmas time. It's not an all or nothing thing.

On the point about what's the point of stockings if father christmas doesn't bring them - the kids get the stockings, and they bring them into our bedroom to open them. Once everything's been unwrapped, they get to play with the stocking gifts while breakfast is made and the early prep for Xmas dinner goes on, turkey in the oven etc - and then we sit down to do the "tree presents" bit while there's a gap in the food prep process. They then play with whatever they like while the rest of dinner's prepared, assembling Lego or whatever. After Xmas dinner, we have a walk and then we get a new family board game out to play, and then after that there's usually a film or TV before winding down for bed.

But what about the hanging of the stockings on Christmas eve?

It's a ritual that my kids adored.

Hanging the stocking, they would leave a biscuit and a glass of milk for Santa, a carrot for Rudolph, it was always the first thing they would check on Christmas morning- to see if the biscuit had been eaten and the milk drunk.
"Proof" that Santa had been- that and the bulging stockings.

My DCs still hang up their stockings on their beds. They still wake up in the morning excited to see what's inside. They still think it's very clever of mummy and daddy to be so quiet and be able to fill them up whilst they sleep!

It's not like without Santa Christmas doesn't exist. We still have fun and the kids still bounce of the walls with excitement.

It's a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ anyways. Not the birth of Santa. And I am not even bloody religious!

Yes, the shared conspiracy of FC when you know it's your parents is still fun! 'I wonder if FC would like sherry or Baileys? What do you think Mum?' etc.

t's a holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ anyways.

Not for everyone.