I have £50 to spend on, quite possibly, the most materialistic woman alive

[PumpkinPatchMum]

My mum.

Under 60yo.

Has no hobbies (other than shopping).

Buys herself whatever she wants whenever she pleases. So never has a wishlist.

Only likes designer labels which are way out of my price range.

Things we've previously tried which have failed:

• sentimental gifts like a photo book or professional prints of DC ("I can't hang it up, it doesn't really fit with my decor")

• gift vouchers ("It's quite impersonal. It's just like handing me money. What's the point?")

• taking her out for a meal or an afternoon tea (where she will only sip on a cup of tea as she is permanently on a diet)

• theatre tickets (she has already bought herself tickets for the same show with better seats, or has another show booked for that day)

I have no idea what to get her. Every year it stresses me out. She'll receive the gift with a smile then will give it over to my sister a few weeks later.

She spends £££ on me and DC each year and I always feel silly buying her something so small in comparison.

Whenever I ask her what she'd like, she just says "Surprise me!"

I need to get her something she doesn't know she will like (as she will have already bought herself it)

I need to get her something not clothes, jewellery, accessories, homeware, makeup/perfume-related as she only likes designer stuff

She's not one for homemade gifts or sentimental things like photo cushions or photo books.

She doesn't eat or drink much at all so no fancy foods or hampers.

Total nightmare!

My siblings are a bit better off than me and can afford to buy her the makeup she likes etc. My mum never places any pressure on us to do so but I hate seeing her change in expression after seeing her opening my sister's expensive purse or perfume set next to my Primark onesie i bought for her!

I need to go for something wacky and wonderful.

Any ideas?

Thanks in advance!

I usually do go for a small pile of items like a pyjama set, a novelty gift, a cheapish perfume so it will be a strange move to go for one quality gift instead.

I think that's where you've been going wrong.

A pile of stuff is the last thing she wants.

No offence but you really can't get very nice PJs and perfume and a novelty gift for £50.

I'd hate to get several gifts like that if I thought they were 'tat'. It's such a waste of money.

Even if you just bought one lipstick (and they're not £50 even for posh brands) that she actually likes it would be better received.

Some Kate Spade stationery?

Posh flowers

Does she like flowers? You could buy her a really expensive, huge bouquet for £50.
Does she drink? A bottle of vintage champagne?
Designer lipstick and nail varnish?
Cashmere or leather gloves

Is it just me who is a bit horrified that she hasn't suggested you stop spending your hard earned money on her? If she can buy what she fancies, I think you should keep your cash. A token gift would be fine.

That is what I do but still people insist on buying stuff. It is very hard.

And my DH is worse. He spent 18 months sourcing the perfect scarf. That christmas he was given 2 other scarves- 1 acrylic from M&S and 1 a cheap wool from TK Maxx. A total waste of money. My DF just gets given all the stuff that my DH is given.

Well off middle aged people don't need expensive gifts. You should all save your money, I cant imagine that there is a single parent who doesn't feel the same way.

2009 vintage Moet et Chandon at Sainsbury's is £45
2008 vintage Veuve-Cliquot for £40
Non-vintagec Bollinger £42

Easily within budget

Yes but I wouldn’t class any of them as ‘expensive’ or ‘designer’ champagne. They’re fairly bog standard champagne brands (even if they do say ‘vintage’).

Yes, but given they are of a similar pricing/quality as the mum's taste in candles (Yankee), so should do the job nicely!

Bottle of wine and some flowers.

Oxfam goats.

Seriously- you can't please her so give the money somewhere it will do good and bake her some shortbread.

@WhitefriarsDillyDuck that Isle of Harris Gin looks amazing! Ordering some for gin-loving husband now.

https://www.lordtitles.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkozEup293QIVTbXtCh2-ZQClEAAYBCAAEgK43DD_BwE

Some nice things here - the tea light holders or the jewelry box maybe?
www.newbridgesilverware.com/en/Gifts-for-Her/cc-77.aspx

She sounds ungrateful. I'd get her a bunch of flowers and that's it.

Beautiful vase? Sure you can get something nice on sale

Either the Jo Malone candle or

A tiny box of Charbonnel and Walker..you can get them with just four chocs, plus a personal voucher of you taking her out for tea and cocktails. Just you, her, a limited time together.

The DCs can make her a calendar with gilded pasta and finger prints to hang in the downstairs loo.

I have too much stuff and don’t need more, also dodgy skin so smelliest a disaster, and allergic to flowers. I’ve got to the stage where I’m really grateful if people either give me something from my list or where they know my favourites ( which in my case I can’t afford) and club together. And I really really don’t want people who are struggling to struggle further on my behalf.

So if in doubt and you will see her, I wouldn’t feel obliged to spend that amount. I’d give her some freesias, or scented carnations or a hyacinth that she can repot into the matching pot she already gets. And if she gives them to the local hospice, great. Two sets of people benefit.

*gets = owns

Is she related to my mother?

16 years ago I gave her a puppy. Haven't topped it in terms of presents. Every year she looks disappointed at her gift, but is very excited about the dog's gift - new jumper, cos she feels the cold now at her age, Ben de Lisi bowls, genuine leather leads, various collars over the years.

For those of you who don't want any more stuff, DH and I are the same. What we try and do between some family members is don't give presents but go somewhere that is a treat. Does usually involve food, so might not work for OP's mum. So we would all go somewhere nice for afternoon tea or a posh restaurant where we would not normally go.

ProseccoPoppy

Thank you for the link for the cashmere gloves! I couldn't have a more perfect present for my best friend. Her birthday is Christmas Eve so I've always struggled with what to get her. These are ideal and she probably doesn't even know she needs them! 😁

The Bellini Box from Fortnum and Mason (comes in a wooden box with the fortnum and mason logo on, a bottle of Prosecco and a bottle of the peach nectar to make the cocktails). Feels like a treat and she can enjoy it with you if you’re lucky.

www.fortnumandmason.com/products/the-bellini-box#recommended-products
(Sorry though, its unavailable but they might get it back in).

Would she like a voucher for a manicure? I share her dislike of facials but manicures feel less intrusive!

Or something from www.aesop.com/uk/p/body/hand/resurrection-aromatique-hand-wash/Aesop maybe? People seem to like having their soaps out on display.

For Christmas Consider George Jensen Christmas decorations Stylish beautiful and not something many others will have. Likely to fit in with most decor too.

@ProseccoPoppy Thank you! I was trying to remember that site the other day & drawing a blank. I’ve just ordered a pair - £10 off a ‘lucky dip’ colour if you join the mailing list making them £19 with P&P. Fabulous- thanks again!