I have £50 to spend on, quite possibly, the most materialistic woman alive

[PumpkinPatchMum]

My mum.

Under 60yo.

Has no hobbies (other than shopping).

Buys herself whatever she wants whenever she pleases. So never has a wishlist.

Only likes designer labels which are way out of my price range.

Things we've previously tried which have failed:

• sentimental gifts like a photo book or professional prints of DC ("I can't hang it up, it doesn't really fit with my decor")

• gift vouchers ("It's quite impersonal. It's just like handing me money. What's the point?")

• taking her out for a meal or an afternoon tea (where she will only sip on a cup of tea as she is permanently on a diet)

• theatre tickets (she has already bought herself tickets for the same show with better seats, or has another show booked for that day)

I have no idea what to get her. Every year it stresses me out. She'll receive the gift with a smile then will give it over to my sister a few weeks later.

She spends £££ on me and DC each year and I always feel silly buying her something so small in comparison.

Whenever I ask her what she'd like, she just says "Surprise me!"

I need to get her something she doesn't know she will like (as she will have already bought herself it)

I need to get her something not clothes, jewellery, accessories, homeware, makeup/perfume-related as she only likes designer stuff

She's not one for homemade gifts or sentimental things like photo cushions or photo books.

She doesn't eat or drink much at all so no fancy foods or hampers.

Total nightmare!

My siblings are a bit better off than me and can afford to buy her the makeup she likes etc. My mum never places any pressure on us to do so but I hate seeing her change in expression after seeing her opening my sister's expensive purse or perfume set next to my Primark onesie i bought for her!

I need to go for something wacky and wonderful.

Any ideas?

Thanks in advance!

Pool your money with your siblings, everyone gives what they can afford, and buy something for £200 or whatever the amount adds up to.

Honestly you can't win, though. I'd be tempted to go for Oxfam goats myself.

I’d get her Brora gloves or fingerless gloves. They are heaven to put on and I’ve used mine for years with the same joy since being given a pair (£35 or so)

Yes as a moody mum and grandmother, one nice thoughtful gift like a Jo Malone candle, cashmere socks, leather gloves. I absolutely hate it when my girls spend too much money on me when simply asking me what I would like (nice bottle white wine and a candle) would save them £££.

Also, in TK Maxx, you can get lovely name brand cashmere jumpers for around £40-£50 and they are loads nicer than the M and S ones for £90 plus. I was thrilled to receive one, they are a touch of luxury.

If nothing pleases her, then do not try too hard as its counter productive. The only time I showed disappointment was when I got some teaspoons, hmm. Dont buy chocolate either.

Something from Bloom and Wild? Disclaimer: I don't work for them. I have seen people on social media receive their flowers through the post and they always look good.

I second a diptique candle. They come out with 3 new limited Christmas scents every year and cost around £40 or £25 for a small one.

Or... Liberty of London have beautiful coin purses / travel card holders / ban card holders for £65 but you get 10% for signing up to mail list.

Or you could get some Christmas ornaments at tk maxx for £5-6 which sell at Libertys and John Lewis for £15-20. Maybe one from each child, to put on her tree next year. She might say oh I could’ve gotten them in the sales but actually no (I’ve tried and they’re always “sold out” by the time 50% off rolls around)

coin purse from Liberty

Wow - went away to make a cup of tea and came back to lots of ideas! Thanks very much, everybody.

The thing is, she doesn't come across as moody or ungrateful. She smiles and says thank you and, "ahhh, a card would have been enough!" but then gives my present to my sister after a few weeks. When I confront her, she says things like, "It didn't fit", "Wasn't my style", "It gives me a rash". Then STILL won't give me ideas for something she actually does want.

She used to be a big reader but hasn't picked up a book for years. My brother got her a kindle a few years ago and now every birthday and Christmas gets her lots of Amazon vouchers for e-books (one of which she actually regifted to me last year).

She's wouldn't like a spa or facial as that's not her thing at all, unfortunately (or that would have been ideal!) We don't even hug in my family She wouldn't want a stranger so close and personal.

A nice candle would be a great idea. I don't think she has anything Jo Malone actually. Tons of Yankee around the house though which she adores. I usually do go for a small pile of items like a pyjama set, a novelty gift, a cheapish perfume so it will be a strange move to go for one quality gift instead. A move in the right direction though, I am sure. Much less stressful!

I have seen on the Bargain threads and Style and Beauty that Jo Malone sometimes do a free gift game with purchases of around £50. Do you think they'll do another before the end of the year? Do these candles normally sell out on the run up to Christmas? Just not sure whether to buy it at the end of this month or hold off til late Nov/early Dec in case the free gift game returns ...?

I would search “cashmere” on the TK Maxx website starting in November and keep an eye out for cashmere gloves. Last year, they had Coach gloves for about £30 (Coach is a long standing American brand and it’s recently starting to become popular here). But you can’t search the tk maxx site by “coach”

Some kind of gadget that she doesn't know she wants because she didn't know it existed? I once bought my dad a wireless speaker and a Spotify subscription, and set it up on his phone for him, which went down really well.

Aromatherapy Associates bath oil? Their Deep Relax oil is amazing and is within budget.

Does she read fashion or lifestyle magazines? If so, a subscription should be within budget and might come with nice freebies.

How about some expensive hosiery.

Or, flowers from The Real Flower Company. They always smell beautiful, and are very elegant.

Harris Gin- amazing gift that you cant buy in the shops.

The bottle is beautiful and the gin is amazing. It is very much the current rich middle aged gift- we have received 3 this summer (all drunk) and given about 5- always appreciated.

Agree that T K Maxx or a designer outlet are your friends here, look for something fabulous but discounted. As well s accessories there's lots of skincare and cosmetics. I would also consider something vintage but I love that, some people don't like the idea of used stuff.

Honestly?

I would get her a lovely card and invite her out to tea and a chat.

And not worry about it.

She's made herself impossible to buy for, not you. And frankly. someone with so much shouldn't be disappointed with not getting yet more.

I like the spotify/speaker combo if she listens to music

Silk pjs
Silk dressing gown
Candle - do Yankee do anything she doesn't have?
Soup maker if she's on a diet

My siblings are a bit better off than me and can afford to buy her the makeup she likes etc

So what ARE the make up brands she likes?

Christian Louboutin nail polish or lipstick

I’d just get her a card too, it sounds like nothing is good enough for her tbh. I mean, who actually stays they don’t want pictures of thier grand children because they “don’t match the decor”

An Oxfam goat www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/build-farms/goat-ou9010ml

Actually, not Oxfam, but some other smaller charity. What about www.shelterbox.org/ much needed just now in the Philippines after this awful typhoon. Poor people, now homeless.

It will make your mother feel she's done some good.

TBH she sounds a bit like me. I can buy whatever I like on a whim. I tell my DC and everyone else not to buy me anything, I don't want or need anything. If pushed they could spend £1 on a favourite tube of sweets.

But they still all insist on getting me stuff that I don't want or need and it gets sold on eBay for charity or sent to charity.

It drives me mad. They waste their money and won't stop.

Pumpkin I did the game thing on Jo Malone in about May time and the candles are gorgeous, I got two one for DH’s Nan (who could be your mum but thirty years older!) and then one for me and I love it so much - it’s definitely a nicer scent than Yankee (which I have a lot of) and it comes gift wrapped in a posh gift bag etc. It looked fab and Nan-in-Law (is that a thing?) was very impressed.

If you can get the deal you could always stockpile the other full size item for birthday ;)

This whole thread has been amazing - I’m now stalking TK Maxx for silk scarves and other designer bag / purse gubbins!

I was going to suggest a Jo Malone candle as well, many beat me to it!

The game you refer to has been on twice this year, don't know if they'll do it again before Christmas.

All the people I know who are impossible to buy for are impossible to buy for regardless of what you get them. If you read your own posts, your siblings don’t get it right every time so maybe it’s not you?

£50 is a generous amount of money and there are plenty of small, designer fragrance or makeup items you can buy for £50. However, you say she likes Yankee candles so why not get her some of those? They do an advent calendar you could get her before Xmas.

I would get her something from Neom - a beautiful candle (the 'real luxury' scent comes to mind ), or some of their skincare items.

Hmm, so I am on the fence. She sounds a bit tricky, but on the other hand I know exactly what perfume I like etc and it wouldn’t be great if people bought me a cheaper version of it because I’d feel like they had wasted their money. I absolutely think quality over quantity in this case.

A lovely candle sounds great. Everyone loves JM. If she likes candles but doesn’t buy the pricey ones then it should be a lovely treat.

Do you know what make up brands she likes? If you do we could make some suggestions there too as £50 should be enough to get her something nice.

I would get her something from Neom

Oh yes I love Neom so much!