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Original poster

Homemade cd an acceptable Christmas present?

141 replies

DieAntword · 07/08/2018 13:12

I don't have a lot of money. I am not crafty AT ALL. People tell me, often, that I have a beautiful voice (I sing to my kids a lot in public because it soothes them and ...I love singing anyway). I like my voice I think it's nice.

I once took singing lessons for a term because at uni there was an option to do a terms worth of music modules but you had to do either an instrument or singing lessons and choir. She said I had a good voice for being "wild and untamed".

I want to do a CD of folk music songs as a Christmas present for friends and family because a pack of recordable CDs is cheap and I don't have a lot of money but it would still take work, it's not like I'm just going to belt out the songs - I will practice and try and get them to a good level.

On the other hand no matter how well I know a song there are moments I don't quite hit a note or my voice cracks a bit or something - I can never get it perfect. I imagine that's true of most singers tbh (every band I have seen live has made mistakes that were smoothed over in the studio produced versions) but obviously I can't afford access to a studio to make it "perfect".

Would you find a gift like that insulting? A bit egotistical (like... why would someone be so arrogant as to think you want to hear their singing)? Or would you appreciate it for the thought and work that went in? (and hopefully you like the music too!)

OP posts:
Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 09:31

There's the woe is me. And in several other posts. Plenty of people have made good suggestions but you're dismissing all of them.

Why is an accurate appraisal of my lack of ability "woe is me"? People have limitations, that's one of mine, not every suggestion is going to be workable, I really don't get why that should upset you.

OP posts:
Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 09:34

For God's sake. Get a buggy board to attach to the back of the buggy for the two year old to stand on. Why do you need this much help with basic suggestions? A lot of people have a toddler and a baby (myself included). How do you think everyone else does it?!

I'm sure I'll get told I'm "woe is me" for this but we have a buggy board and our buggy is far too short for it to work.

We do fine generally, my son is a good walker and if he gets tired he can sit on the front of the buggy or go on my shoulders, but even the priest agrees that 3-4hrs of travelling with 2hrs of service in the middle is too much for the kids at their age.

OP posts:
Bumdishcloths · 08/08/2018 09:36

It doesn't upset me. But instead of saying no to everything, saying "that's a good idea, I'm not sure I'd be very good at it but I could give it a go" would be a more positive response, would it not?

Vitalogy · 08/08/2018 09:38

What about helping with your computer skills idea?

Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 09:41

But I know I would produce a shoddy product that I couldn't bear to give someone. I have lots of terrible unfinished work like that in drawers because I couldn't bear to give it to who I was making it for.

OP posts:
Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 09:42

What about helping with your computer skills idea?

I always help people with their computers if they say they're having problems. I helped set up some software to manage their kids screen time recently.

OP posts:
llangennith · 08/08/2018 09:50

Not a good idea! If I was given a selfie CD I'd thank the person politely and maybe even enthuse but it would never be played. I'd rather listen to music of my choice thanks.

ProseccoPoppy · 08/08/2018 10:10

Well, you’ll know if you can do crafting or not, just putting an idea out there!

We didn’t get on with a buggy board either OP - that’s why my (usually excellent walker) toddler goes in the sling on a back carry if she is tired. The baby always needs something - either the pram or a sling - whereas the toddler only sometimes needs to be carried so I am happiest taking the pram (which gives me a good size basket under for shopping/change bag for baby etc) and keeping the sling in the change bag to carry my toddler if she needs it. That works for us, might or might not for you.

SpectacularAardvark · 08/08/2018 10:14

My honest opinion is that your parents may like the cd but your friends are extremely likely to tell you they love it to your face but laugh at you behind your back.

As for the fuel thing, as a fellow non-driver, I am ashamed. This is why we get such a bad reputation. Angry I can't believe you think it's fine to expect lifts and never even offer petrol money?! You should always offer. If you can't afford it, don't go.

Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 10:31

re: the car thing

How was I supposed to know? They don’t give out a handbook about this stuff when you turn 18. If no one ever says anything ever about expectations and just grumbles about people behind their back then how are people meant to know they’re not meeting them?

I’m really upset about it. I already felt like a horrible burden because these people talk to me or come visit me, one of them looked after my eldest while I gave birth to the youngest, I should never have taken their generosity at face value but I did. I don’t even know what to say or do now. Just want to hide in a hole forever.

OP posts:
WhirlwindHugs · 08/08/2018 10:38

Please, don't feel like that.

I was a non driver, now I drive. If I ever wanted petrol money I would say so upfront. Every driver I know is the same, if they aren't okay with a lift situation and money, then it's their own fault for not speaking up. No one can expect other people to be psychic.

People care about you and your children coming to church and seeing you. They want you to have company and be with friends. If they cared about a few quids worth of petrol they wouldn't bother - but they do.

There are lots of low cost gift ideas if you really have no money. If you do have money, why not put a bit if money in a jar everyweek then think about it again in October when you have a better idea of how much you could spend.

GooodMythicalMorning · 08/08/2018 10:53

WhirlwindHugs speaks sense, if they minded they'd either say no or ask for money.

BunnyBath · 08/08/2018 11:08

Get a universal buggy board that's adaptable and fits all buggy types. A quick Google would really sort a lot of this out for you.

Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 12:38

Get a universal buggy board that's adaptable and fits all buggy types. A quick Google would really sort a lot of this out for you

It fits fine, it's that my back cant take the bending over to reach the buggy handle when it's on that's the problem.

I really don't understand how a thread where I just asked about the appropriateness of a gift (and I got you all loud and clear that it's not and accept that) became open season to give me unwanted advice about what alternative gifts to give or how to carry my kids - fine give advice, some might even be useful, but then for people to get their knickers in a twist about my negativity when I don't accept it?? We're fine. Don't get me wrong, if a better buggy shows up on freecycle I'll be there like a shot, but the system as it stands is working ok for us.

Heck I probably will take up the advice about carrying the baby in the sling (no way the toddler, tooooo heavy, he can go in the buggy!) now he's old enough for back carrying.

OP posts:
Bumdishcloths · 08/08/2018 13:12

"The problem is the things that people would actually like cost lots of money and I can't afford that. The alternative is buying cheap tat or gag gifts no-one really wants that will end up in the bottom of a drawer somewhere."

This is why people were offering other ideas - they were trying to offer helpful alternatives, as people often do when asked for advice on an unrelated subject.

Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 13:28

Ah, I was just complaining, not asking advice :P

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Namechangeforthiscancershit · 08/08/2018 13:32

It’s mumsnet. Unsolicited advice is absolutely to be expected. If it’s not helpful to you then ignore it.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 08/08/2018 13:32

And yes I realise that was unsolicited advice too Grin

Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 13:34

It’s mumsnet. Unsolicited advice is absolutely to be expected. If it’s not helpful to you then ignore it.

Just complaining not asking for advice here, but the problem is I have a compulsive need to respond to posts directed at me on the internet. It's caused me no end of problems!

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 08/08/2018 13:35

I can imagine!

FatCow2018 · 08/08/2018 13:36

Ditch the cds, buy a nice card instead. Stsrt offering petrol money and use a sling. Sorted. How many times do you want to hear the same thing?!

rubyroot · 08/08/2018 13:40

I always feel like I’m being a burden on people inviting them to mine. Because I have two young kids it’s so nice when people visit me and I get to have a chat with a grown up so I always feel like it’s just an act of charity for my sake.

More of a burden having to listen to your CD- can't think of anything worse!

Floralnomad · 08/08/2018 13:41

Can’t you find a church closer to where you live ?

Original poster
DieAntword · 08/08/2018 13:42

Can’t you find a church closer to where you live ?

Nope, Eastern Orthodox churches are few and far between in the UK.

OP posts:
rubyroot · 08/08/2018 13:48

No idea why all the talk of carrying kids and church- really?