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Christmas

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Original poster

Homemade cd an acceptable Christmas present?

141 replies

DieAntword · 07/08/2018 13:12

I don't have a lot of money. I am not crafty AT ALL. People tell me, often, that I have a beautiful voice (I sing to my kids a lot in public because it soothes them and ...I love singing anyway). I like my voice I think it's nice.

I once took singing lessons for a term because at uni there was an option to do a terms worth of music modules but you had to do either an instrument or singing lessons and choir. She said I had a good voice for being "wild and untamed".

I want to do a CD of folk music songs as a Christmas present for friends and family because a pack of recordable CDs is cheap and I don't have a lot of money but it would still take work, it's not like I'm just going to belt out the songs - I will practice and try and get them to a good level.

On the other hand no matter how well I know a song there are moments I don't quite hit a note or my voice cracks a bit or something - I can never get it perfect. I imagine that's true of most singers tbh (every band I have seen live has made mistakes that were smoothed over in the studio produced versions) but obviously I can't afford access to a studio to make it "perfect".

Would you find a gift like that insulting? A bit egotistical (like... why would someone be so arrogant as to think you want to hear their singing)? Or would you appreciate it for the thought and work that went in? (and hopefully you like the music too!)

OP posts:
Ragwort · 07/08/2018 17:13

Who are you buying all these gifts for? Wouldn't it be easier/cheaper to discuss in advance that you would prefer a 'no gift' policy - you can still meet up with friends/family to celebrate Christmas over a drink/meal/sing-song/game of cards - whatever you like to do - but without the pressure of exchanging gifts. I did this years ago with my friends and family (excepting cash gifts for under 18s) and it is so much easier all round.

Original poster
DieAntword · 07/08/2018 17:15

Who are you buying all these gifts for? Wouldn't it be easier/cheaper to discuss in advance that you would prefer a 'no gift' policy

They don't tend to get me gifts but I always get them stuff because I want to show appreciation for how much they've helped me. One is for my son's godmother, other for my other son's godmother (both godmothers have regularly driven me to church because I can't drive), one for my godmother, one for a woman I met at a support group, one for my parents.

OP posts:
2010Aussie · 07/08/2018 17:18

If you are in/near a big town or city, there will be something for you somewhere.

Have a look at 'What's On' in your area - especially once the schools go back. Libraries are also a good source of info. You can always try googling the type of music & the town you are in eg Folk Rock Manchester and see what comes up.

It may take a while to find what you want but don't be afraid of just going along to a rehearsal to see what it's like. No obligation!

It's a great thing being able to sing but even better if you sing with other people.

Original poster
DieAntword · 07/08/2018 17:21

It's a great thing being able to sing but even better if you sing with other people.

I totally agree. I really wish I had people to sing with! Once my kids are old enough to not require chasing when they try and go up into the sanctuary I'm going to join the choir but until then I'm just keeping my eye out.

OP posts:
Alicatz66 · 07/08/2018 17:29

I think your heart is set on making the CDs OP ... just blooming do it .. if they don't like them they can use them as coasters or bird scarers Smile

delphguelph · 07/08/2018 17:31

I don’t have a car and I’m always being given lifts and no one asks for petrol money.

^^

So you're one of them eh?

Sparkletastic · 07/08/2018 17:35

It's a no from me too. Homemade cake, sweets or biscuits would be welcome though.

Ragwort · 07/08/2018 17:44

There are many other ways of showing appreciation for friends/family rather than giving presents; you really, really don't NEED to give gifts. A heartfelt thank you letter would be really appreciated, or if you are church members why not offer to make a donation to a church fund 'instead of gifts this year and in appreciation of all you do as such wonderful Godparents' - or wording to some effect like that.

Original poster
DieAntword · 07/08/2018 17:58

So you're one of them eh?

Surely if they wanted it they'd ask?

Urg I hate this passive aggressive british culture where no-one just says what they want and what they mean!

What is so hard about just saying "hey would you like a lift? by the way can you contribute to the petrol?" if it's important to you, or just not offering if you're going to be secretly resentful about it.

OP posts:
Invisimamma · 07/08/2018 18:02

I’d rather no gift than a homemade cd tbh. Even if I really liked the person’s singing voice.

I didn’t even realise people still had CDs!

Starlings27 · 07/08/2018 18:06

People probably wouldn’t ask actually! And if you offer, they’ll probably say no thanks, but appreciate the offer.

Re the gift, it’s definitely a no from me, I’d be quite taken aback if someone gave me a cd of them self singing. But I hate all homemade gifts except nice biscuits or chocolates.

Could you not put a couple of quid away per week between now and Xmas? Then get everyone a nice box of chocolates? If they don’t ever give you anything at Xmas, I’m sure they’ll see that as an acceptable gesture of thanks.

Alicatz66 · 07/08/2018 18:29

Starlings27 .. that made me laugh ! .. I'm not a lover of home made gifts either ! I'd stick Kirstie Allsop and her home made tat in Room 101 .. I'd rather have a chocolate orange from Poundland

Original poster
DieAntword · 07/08/2018 19:09

Chocolate probably not a goer. Two are on a diet, three are quite strict about healthy eating and might feel the Christmas period in general pushes too much sugar on them as it is.

For one of them there’s a particular translation of the psalms I could get because they’re looking for a better translation than what they currently have (we’ve talked about it recently) but that might be sorted by Christmas.

OP posts:
ShotsFired · 07/08/2018 20:29

Get an old jar, think of a bunch of things you like about your good friend Mary and make a "why Mary is fab" jar. Bit of ribbon round it and bingo! A beautiful, heartfelt gift she will treasure.

Make Gwen some choc chip shortbread and/or coconut ice (everyone can make those) and and a pretty card to sincerely thank her for all the lifts.

Chris can have some thoughtfully chosen books on his fave topic / without / genre that you can dig out of charity shops and wrapped nicely.

George can have a lovely framed photo of the two of you with a note about a fun memory.

Ken the keen gardener can have some little plant label sticks you have decorated nicely (make out of lolly sticks)

Jenny the lady with 4 cats will have plenty of fun with home made cat toys (thin stick with string in, and some feathers and suchlike at the end)

There you go. A whole bunch of ideas that all cost pennies. Hopefully they will show you how simple it can be and give you some ideas for your actual friends with their actual interests. Stop being so defeated.

delphguelph · 07/08/2018 20:34

Urg I hate this passive aggressive british culture where no-one just says what they want and what they mean!

^

Me too. Its hard. But there's 65 million of us so play the game!

Whatsthisbear · 07/08/2018 22:01

What is so hard about just saying "hey would you like a lift? by the way can you contribute to the petrol?" if it's important to you, or just not offering if you're going to be secretly resentful about it.

But if you endlessly accept, when people constantly offer out of politeness, what’s so hard in saying ‘what would you like for petrol?’

Coming from someone who would always offer and, tbh out of politeness, always reject payment (even if I needed it) I would still feel taken for granted if it wasn’t at least offered. When I was in the position of needing lifts I would leave a contribution to petrol money in the footwell as I made a hasty exit. It was never return when we next met so they obviously appreciated the donation.

Original poster
DieAntword · 07/08/2018 22:12

But if you endlessly accept, when people constantly offer out of politeness, what’s so hard in saying ‘what would you like for petrol?’

Honestly it never occurred to me. I assumed people wanted to help and weren’t just offering me a lift out of politeness. We rejected lifts for ages because we didn’t want to be a burden but it’s about an hour and a half walking and bus to get to church and half an hour of that is walking and the two year old can’t manage and my husband has type 1 diabetes and carrying him invariably causes a hypo. I’m not strong enough to carry him. For a while when I couldn’t get a lift I went to church on the bus by myself and my kids stayed home with my husband but obviously the godparents feel like the babies need to be there to get communion.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 07/08/2018 22:37

Please don't do the cd. Its a terrible idea.

And yes, you should leave fuel money.

Isadora2007 · 07/08/2018 23:58

Buy one nice pack of notecards and take your time writing to the people saying thank you specifically to them for what they do or bring to your lives.
Make a small charitable donation to something like Mary’s Meals on behalf of them and mention in the card you’re doing that.
If people are genuinely helping you and supporting you and being good friends then it will be lovely for them to know you appreciate them.
£15-20 would cover all that easily. And would mean a lot.

LeftRightCentre · 08/08/2018 00:25

Really wouldn't care for a CD or USB of you singing. It would go in the bin. EVERYONE on this thread bar one has told you they wouldn't like this a gift but you're still insistent on it.

noobtheory · 08/08/2018 03:21

It does sound to me that you want to do it regardless of what people have said (and will do it anyway).

Only you know the recipients. However, I really wouldn’t like this regardless of it being on a CD or USB. This is because 1) I only listen to music on Spotify or the radio 2) it does seem really egotistical 3) I’m sure you’re voice is beautiful but you do get some people who think their voices are amazing when they really aren’t. (Not saying this is you)

AltheaorDonna · 08/08/2018 03:46

Yeah its a huge no from me. Honestly it is a bit cringey and show-offy. I barely have time to listen to my favourite music, a cd of a friend singing hymns and the like would be pretty awful and would be a bit embarrassing to receive.

As for the petrol money, the onus is on you to offer. If they are British the chances are the will say 'Oh no, I wouldn't dream etc.' But it really is polite to offer.

Redglitter · 08/08/2018 04:42

Get an old jar, think of a bunch of things you like about your good friend Mary and make a "why Mary is fab" jar. Bit of ribbon round it and bingo! A beautiful, heartfelt gift she will treasure

That's even more cringy than a CD of yourself singing. I'd hate to get something like that.

ProseccoPoppy · 08/08/2018 05:37

I think it really depends on what music your friends and family enjoy. If they love the music you are good at singing that might be really nice. My cousin did homemade dvds for family one year (must have taken her hours - all bits of family video footage and photographs put together really nicely with music) and they went down well, so ot’s A “know your audience” thing there I thing.

As an aside (and not at all the point of your thread, sorry) if you need to carry your toddler for any distance have you tried a sling? I still carry my nearly three yo in a connecta carrier sometime - it spreads the weight and means I can comfortably carry her quite a distance and means she can’t run off somewhere when it’s busy, also leaves my hands free for shopping or to push my baby in his pram. (Suggesting this purely to try to be helpful not because I think you should stop accepting lifts!)

chocatoo · 08/08/2018 05:52

The CD is a no from me too I’m afraid. I think it could come across as self indulgent. Also I would never listen to it.

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