Christmas can be hectic and stressful and very unsettling for small children. Everyone is busy, the house is manic and between the music, lights and tinsel it can be a massive sensory overload.
I have a DS with autism and have to be careful not to do too much, or ramp up the excitement beyond what he can cope with. I have to be “sensorily” aware for him. But it has taught me how to focus on the warmth and coziness of the season, to take time over little rituals and traditions and to slow everything down.
I try to get the shopping out of the way before December so that I can concentrate on the dc as much as possible.
There are some things we’ve done every year that have become essential parts of Christmas but aren’t adding to the giddiness and mania of the season:
We do nature walks to forage for pine clippings and pine cones
We make an orange and clove pomander
We bake cookies
We read Christmas stories before bed
We watch The Snowman
We make bird feeders to “decorate” the trees outside
We make paper snowflakes for the windows
We decorate the tree
Most of that is stuff we do anyway but with a chrissmassy twist (walks, baking, crafts). It becomes more magical with each repetition.
At Christmas when we walk we cosy up in hats and scarves and boots, we notice the chill, the falling light, the street lights coming on early, the birds in the bare trees, the smell of the ever greens etc.
It’s very easy for Christmas to get away from you especially when you’re trying to make it perfect. Slowing right down and doing less has been transformative for me because the magic is right there with the dc.
It’s easy to get over invested in an image of what Christmas is like with children. When I say “we bake” I mean that I bake and they help as much or as little as they want, with an inverse relationship between how much they are involved and the quality of the final product! As tots baking cookies took days : I made dough one day (freezer) another time we sorted boiled sweets into colours to smash. We rolled and cut. Now we can do it one go with fights over whose turn it is to beat the eggs and who’s hogging the rolling pin. We bake a lot all year round but we only make stained glass cookies at Christmas.
Doing what you already do but in a chrissmassy way is also easier to keep up in the long term!
Stay firmly away from Pinterest if you want to do crafts or you’ll ridiculously over estimate what a child is capable of! Finger painting (use 2 colours that blend into a nice third, or everything will end up sludgy brown) is great for wrapping paper, cards, diy baubles. But don’t bother if you get stressed by the mess or the imperfections. Because it’s more important to enjoy time together.
One of the reasons I bake and craft is to let the dc share in the gift giving. As much as children enjoy receiving we can forget how much pleasure there is in giving.
Depending on your culture it can be nice to link into local customs. Here in Ireland, stirring the pudding and making a wish is common, lighting a Christmas candle for the window, visiting the church to see the Christmas crib.
And of course, if you “do” santa, there’s lots of possibilities. I’ve always made a special point of cleaning the hearth and polishing the table where we put Santa’s milk and cookies so I can be appalled at the footprints, crumbs and milk rings in the morning.