How much should you spend on your partner?

[StayCalmMary]

I am with my partner just over two years. We decided this year we would spend 50 each on each other's x-mas gifts because we have a huge rent and I am in my Masters with very little income.
A friend of mine who would have a little more income than me, but not much, is spending over 200 on her partner of about 2 years. Both our partners have good incomes.
I am worried that we are just being cheap with each other now possibly too early in the relationship? Should we still be trying to spoil one another? Or is it really just down to circumstances?

You do realise this is nonsense right?

It’s not about incomes or what anyone else does, it’s about what you and your DP want to do.

We have a six figure income and don’t buy each other any Christmas presents.

There’s no “right” amount.

Christmas presents aren’t a measure of love.

It is purely down to circumstances imo. Try not to let it bother you what other people are doing and do what's right for you and your dp. My partner and I are not doing gifts this year as we have spent so much money on our house and a lot of people have commented on that. We are happy with the situation and that's all that matters .x

Yes, I mean a few people have said "only 50" to me and I felt like I was justifying our decision! Clearly, I was not measuring our love by money ahhahahahah!!! I just thought I'd see what others were doing I am happy with our 50 budget. Thanks for the reassurance :)

You ‘should’ spend what you want to spend. There are other ways to spoil each other than with money.

Spending a bit more than that this year - probably about £100. But in the past have spent lots less - used to have £50 limit. It really doesn't matter what other people do. Just ignore!

You should spend whatever you want to and can afford. DH and I spend approx £10 on each other at Christmas. Birthdays is a card and a bottle of wine or 4 pack of beer. Anniversary and valentine's Day is just a card. We don't have the money to be buying anything more and it is not worth getting in debt over.

Why are you even discussing your budget with people. I would never ask anyone that question. DH and I agree roughly on €200 - we have no kids and enjoy the fun of opening a few gifts each on Christmas morning. It's absolutely up to the two of you.

I agree with wish .. No need to discuss it. You are doing your masters. That's the priority (rightly so)

Past few years we haven't bought much because we have rennovated the house. This year we can (but dh needs trainers and would be buying them anyway)

Some years we’ve spent hundreds and other years next to nothing. This year we’ve spent about £20 on token gifts and we’re going to buy ourselves some furniture in the new year sales instead.

We have a budget of £50. We both have late birthdays (Nov / Dec), and lots of family birthdays so it’s already an expensive time of year. Spend what you can afford or what you feel happy spending. It’s just a day.

DH and I have spent about £20 on eachother this year. I think it's plenty enough to buy a thoughtful gift plus we're broke

We have a joint income so the idea of getting a "gift" from the other is kind of contrived.
If we wanted to either of us could have just bought the same things out of the same money atany time of the year!
Having said that: DH probably spends about £100 on me and I spend about £50 on him because I'm tight
We have just bought a bit of woodland to put up a holiday hut so this year I've got him a few nice things related to that. A good quality pocket knife and a head torch. I plan to get the knife blade engraved witha soppy message.

We've decided on £50 for Christmas and Birthdays. My DP's birthday is Christmas Eve and mine in January. I've spent £49.99 on his Birthday present and some sweets have just tipped it over £50 for Christmas. I expect he hasn't stuck to his budget.

My partner is a high earner and loves buying presents ( we don't live together). He also likes getting them so I do end up buying lots of smaller bits. Think it's about £70 this year but that includes gifts from DS to him. He's got 3 nice well chosen gifts in that budget and a sticking with his favourite chutneys, socks, team key ring etc.
Anything properly expensive he buys himself TBH.

We dont spend anything on each other.

If one us us wants something the. We will just buy it. We don't do birthdays or Christmasses on the set days as adults as we would rather either wait and when we want something the other person pays for it 'for Christmas / birthday throughout the year if it's a big ticket item at say £100

It’s a little odd to be discussing budget at all tbh. Maybe just stop doing that.

I don think any of my friends or family have ever asked what I’ve bought DH for any occasion let alone how much I spent.

I spent £19.99 on a bottle of whisky for dh (very good deal out of staff shop) this year and he (well me) has got me some new pjs for £20ish. Last year I spent £160 on a coffee machine with a milk frother thingy and I got an iPad. Some years we get each other nothing. Just depends if there is something we want. We don’t compare our presents to each other with other couples.

Last couple of years we’ve spent somewhere between £60 and £100. This is our 3rd Christmas together and we’ve agreed a £50 limit. I managed to get him something I know he’ll absolutely love for that, so I’m excited to see him open it. He knows I like lots of little bits - I know the perfume I’ve asked for (it’s a cheapy one) will be in there, and he’ll get me a selection of bits up to the total E.g. socks, chocolate, a book, cos he knows I love having loads to open! It’s more about putting the thought in really, than the money surely? And there’s no need to share how much you’re spending with other people, just do what suits your budget and preferences.

Dh and I don't buy each other Christmas presents. I love buying stuff for him at any other time of year but during this already mad and busy time it would just be another chore. Neither dh nor I want that so we skip it.

It works for us.

Are you happy with the £50 limit? You really shouldn't feel bad about it, it's more than lots of people can afford!

The ideal amount £72.98

I am also free for guessing lengths of string, if required.

I jest... some people have spare cash, some people care more about presents than others, some people need/want lots of things. There are so many variables. And SO much pressure if you allow yourself to feel it.

I spent about £180 on DH this year, a colleague has spent £1,500 on his DW (similar income, I earn slightly more), another colleague spends £40 (we have the same income).

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' the only risk is if one person in a relationship spends £1,000s and the other £10s... which is why people agree a budget.

I am also free for guessing lengths of string, if required

Anon

Less than £5 probably. Box of jelly bellies and a chocolate orange. We don't do gifts as we have joint money- if we want something we would buy it.

I don't have a budget for anyone. I just buy people 1 thing that they would love- so £100 on DM and £3 on DF for example. No point in buying tat to get to a certain budget.

We’ve been together two years and scrapped doing gifts lol .

Instead we went and stayed in a lux hotel and went out for a fab dinner - that we split and probably came in around £500 but we enjoyed it and that’s all that matters !

Why the heck do you even have the conversation with people? I can't even imagine ever discussing this with my friends. Bizarre. Spend what you like or what you can afford. Nothing to do with anyone else.

We earn several times the average wage, but don’t buy each other anything for Xmas.