If some misery tells your child there is no Santa/FC...

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Just occurred to me, since a so called friend did tell dd aged only 5 that there was no Santa, 'it's just a fairytale'.

Thank heaven I thought to tell her at once that so called friend had probably been so naughty when she was little that Santa never came, so it was no wonder she didn't no believe in him. Should add that I was helped by the fact that friend had form for rowing, effing and blinding, inc. in front of dd at least once.
This worked like a dream, so thought I'd share in case anyone else's dc encounters a misery wanting to spoil the magic.

I understand people not doing it for religious reasons, but other than that I don't understand people not doing Father Christmas for their children and before people say"well I do t lie to my children and we have great magical Xmas with family etc" well children can't miss what they haven't had. But I don't think children should be deprived of that magic

Because it's total bollocks? Because there are more important things to focus on than consumerism? Because there are lots of other magical things than FC?

Your desire to tell your DCs a lie (however "magical") does not outweigh my desire to tell my DCs the truth.

Children talk to each other.

Any story you choose to tell about Santa should take into account that not everybody believes he's real, without encouraging your children to think that their friends in school must be naughty or bad.

PMSL at Natsku clarifying that her Dad filling her Mum's stocking is not a euphemism!!!

Yes, because she might get a visit from Krampus (St Nicholas's devil sidekick, who birches naughty children!) I think Krampus is due a revival, it's all Santa, Santa, Santa these days, and Elf of the Shelf. We need to start seeing models of Krampus around shopping centres, to remind kids to behave. You know those broomsticks which are on sale for Hallowe'en at the moment? I think I'll buy one, chop off the handle, and there's the perfect prop.

I know someone who does Santa in a different way, because the kids don't like the idea of Santa sneaking in while they sleep (there's no chimney anyway); so instead, the kids are up while Santa comes. They're allowed to be there while he comes, and to hear him, but not to see him. She gets the kids (in pyjamas, teeth brushed and ready for bed) to hang up their empty stockings soon before bedtime on Xmas eve, in the living room, and to sit down, holding their teddies.

They are blindfolded and warned not to peep, and to keep holding their teddies. (An adult watches them; she thinks that if the kids are holding their teddies, it keeps their hands busy and they are less likely to try and peep.) They can hear sounds of sleigh bells around them for a few minutes, as well as Christmas music. When they're allowed to look again, their stockings are bulging, to the cry of "He's been!!!". They love it, even if they have to wait until the morning to look inside!

OK, just to clarify, this was an adult who deliberately and maliciously (she knew I'd be upset about it) told my dd there was no Santa.
I don't regret what I told dd - I'd do the same again with anyone mean enough to want to spoil a young child's magic and excitement. They find out soon enough anyway.

As for ' consumerism' - there was never any massive pile of presents from Santa for my dds - he only ever brought little things in stockings. Anything bigger was from family.

@welshgirlwannabe As a non-British, half hearted Jew living in Britain I have to say I don't understand the adult insistence that kids believe in santa.

As a half-British churchgoer living in Britain I also don't get it. It is entirely for the parents, I have concluded. And it's also a symptom of people who want "Christmas" (not Midwinter or Yule) but who can't bear to think of anything to do with church.

There are many many other ways to make Christmas magical. I think it's pretty magical and I, funnily enough, don't believe any more (if I ever did).

Parents cite their child coming down on Christmas morning "he's been! he's been!". But my DCs are pretty excited by seeing the crib at church, waiting for the baby Jesus to appear in the nativity scene we have at home, then the wise men later, being in the nativity play, lighting candles, decorating the tree, etc. etc. (and not all of those are church-related).

Our nativity scene wise men make a long trek round the dining room before Twelfth Night (idea stolen from a friend). We come down to find they've moved in the morning. The DCs may or may not have moved them when we are out of the room. They know fine well the wise men don't move on their own - but it's still fun.

Just to reassure those with believers, christmas is no less magical for my 7yo who decided for himself when he was 3 that Father Christmas doesn’t exist than it is for my 6yo who is all-believing gullible
Yes, it’s shitty for an adult to deliberately go against the parents wishes and decide to tell a child who is not their own that he doesn’t exist, but it’s also shitty to tell a child that those who don’t believe are just naughty

Because there are more important things to focus on than consumerism? My dm was useless at gifts - but she loved xmas made the house look amazing, and we got swept away in the whole atmosphere, there was gifts to open but not in the league of what some people got, dm wasn't materialistic at all, we Did FC and I loved it.
I dont think FC is consumerism, its the idea and the magic.

WTAF have I just read? Father Christmas doesn’t exist???

I did not say that father Xmas was the only good thing about Christmas for my kids.
But it plays a big part in the excitement. Small kids have great imaginations and it's a lovely thing for them.

Like I said people that say it's all just a lie, or the christmases are perfectly fine without, obviously don't know what they are missing, maybe your parents had the same beliefs as you. But believe me, when done right, it is lovely, and yes it would ruin part of chrostmas for my 5 year old and I will"lie" to him for as long as I can!

The scrooges that are so high and mighty about not wanting to tell their children a lie always make me feel sad.

It is definitely for the parents. So is Disneyland!

It's sad if that's the only thing that's good about your Xmas.

Yes, that's it for me. The best "magic" of Christmas is the things that can be done with no money and no pretence, so that it can be replicated any year, feast or famine, however old they are. Watching a favourite DVD with supermarket popcorn; having a walk through town in the early evening to look at lights and displays.

Or, in my house, BEING ALLOWED TO COME DOWNSTAIRS IN YOUR PYJAMAS which is a massive deal for the smallest ones but still part of the exceptional and celebratory day for everyone else.

We don't do FC but our children know not to spoil it for other children. I do think it's fucking rude for an adult to tell someone else's 5yo anything definite about FC at all, whether that's "he doesn't exist" or "he only comes to good children".

And you can't top the excitement of children coming down to a pile of presents whether they believe a supernatural being has left them or Mum and Dad have retrieved them from the spare room. I honestly don't think the fictional magic part is what matters there.

I don't regret what I told dd

So you're not bothered about your child telling other children who don't celebrate/ parents can't afford presents/ can't be bothered that they don't get presents because they are naughty?

How lovely. As long as your DD is happy I guess.

Good grief, "the scrooges"? What? No one here is saying that you have to be a miserable, fun-sponge, miser about Christmas!!!!!

Some are just questioning how fanatical people have to be about 'belief' in FC and whether it is wise to deceive your children so comprehensively that they are devastated when they find out it has all been made up & it ruins their Christmas.

So is Disneyland!

But Disney is real (and still magic even when your 4 year old knows it's just people dressed up).

@DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Why do you need to prove FC is real? That's like insisting Cinderella is real

Because sometimes its nice to see magic in a childs eyes.
Because the magic of santa brings an innocence to children that seems too sadly lost nowadays.
And lastly....why not??

It's interesting drspouse that people are falling over themselves to preserve the FC story for as long as possible - a friend of mine had her secondary school age dc in tears when he found out . However they are not so keen on pushing the nativity story. Perhaps they are worried that dc might never stop believing that one and 'catch' religion.

Not forcing kids to believe in santa (because that's what basically happens) doesn't rob them of all magic.

You see as a dc who didn't get loads...I think its more magical to believe the one gift I may have got - eg large teddy was brought Bf FC, on a sleigh pulled through the sky. its the Provence that does add that extra magic!

No, it doesn't rob them of all their magic...it just adds a little more. I really don't see the harm in it.
My Dd now does not believe. When she found out I kept that secret for all those years and in fact it was me putting out the santa footprints and jiggling the bells in the night, leaving the presents without being caught. She then told me I was the most magic person ever! She now helps me do all of those things so her younger sisters believe.
I just don't get why santa is so controversial!

Exh told my dds it was just silly stories. I thought this was quite evil. We do leaving food out for santa and the reindeers so they forgot about knobhead exh soon enough

There is no harm in it - In RL have never heard of all this misery and angst over it!

I love christmas.

Ds stopped believing a few years ago. He just asked one day and i told him the truth. He wasnt that bothered. Just carried on with his day. We still do all things christmas, santa, etc.