Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

Insomnibrat, that bunting is incredible! I had a prolonged bunting phase, too, but never produced anything as good as that. A talented pal made some for me last year, though, so will be looking for a good place for it this year.

Making these tonight for my hampers.

www.seriouseats.com/2014/12/how-to-make-spiced-nuts-holiday-entertaining-hors-dourves.html

They are deeply addictive so I can only taste one or I will eat the whole bunch!

I do the mexican coco ones and the smokey ones, I use mixed nuts for both.

Thanks @DoAsYouWould
Here are my Christmas dinner themed tree decorations.

THEY ARE FAB!!

Wow! You're so talented, Insomnibrat!

My 'talents' are all food-based...I wish I was as creative as some of you lot on here!

I made my Nigella muffins and also the Yorkshire puddings last night. Both are now happily in the freezer waiting to be eaten! (Apart from the 2 muffins which fell into our mouths last night, just to taste test, you see!)

Haha thanks! Everyone loves a happy sprout!

wish my talents were food based, can't cook for toffee

God I wish I could sew! It's funny how we all want to be able to do the things that everyone else can do!

I ponced a bit today in between working. Strained my fig liquor and bottled it and decorated the bottles. There may have been tasting :) It was delicious! Only my very best friends are getting any of this!

I have kept all of the figs (they were fresh from my trees) that were soaking in the alcohol and this weekend will trial making a cake with some of them pureed. I found a recipe that uses tinned figs but hoping mine will be much nicer - especially with all the added alcohol!

Oh wow loving the bunting and decorations esp the sprout!

If only I could sew. Finished wrapping the presents. I think they are quite basic this year but family always say it is poncy - I think it is the brown paper.

Oh and Christmas cake done and soaking in the cupboard. Mum usually buys the deserts but money is tight so I have made instead. My brother wants a Yule log too. Btw I need to transport both in a long car journey decorated. I think they will have to sit on my lap.

Ps Pass the fig liquor wiifitmama

Lovely, MrsPear! I've gone for brown paper plus ponce this year too as I think it gives a touch of understated elegance. I'm using some plain brown paper and some printed, from Ikea: one that is more red and one that shows more brown through. They are bliss to wrap with because you can get a good firm crease, which is honestly 90% of the battle for poncetastic wrapping.

I can't remember if I mentioned that I've volunteered to be a wrapper at the local pig's Christmas wrapping nights: you bring along your presents to be wrapped while you wait with a pint of mulled wine. Donations to charity. I can't wait. I'm going to take a couple of wrapped empty boxes round next week for the display.

Our outdoor decorations will go up this weekend at the front of the house: would usually be later but DH is going to be overseas. Fear not, taste will reign. Warm white LEDs across house and then through our actual living holly hedge, which is L-shaped IYSWIM (we live on the inside of a bend in the road) and in the corner a real tree with red "cherry" bulbs. A white wirework star in the window, with LED church candles underneath lit in the evening. The latter are on a clever timer so they go on for 6 hours then off for 18 and so on. Good for the forgetful .

Local PUB. Goodness knows what a local pig would be doing hosting a wrapping event. Very Royston Vasey!

Insomnibrat, the decs are a total joy

Ok I'll stop after this one I promise! This is my hand made, bespoke advent calendar I made for Mum.
No1 is missing, she tore into it before I could get a picture!
Made from craft bits on driftwood.

That looks amazing

Goodness I lost you all for a while. I have a very late Christmas cake in the oven. My poncing is never quite As far ahead as I want, but I am in awe of the beautiful things you have all made- you are all so talented.

My house is starting to look a little poncetastic... Laura Ashley House Advent Calendar (bought several years ago in the sales) on the mantelpiece, flanked by two poundland ceramic house tea light holders. I am burning the candles from my Yankee candle advent calendar in them. So cosy!

Tonight I've been checking the ingredients I have against what I need, plus planning the order I'm making things in. We will be well-fed come new year!

My grocery orders are predominantly chocolate, eggs, butter and cream cheese! 😂

I'm making my own Christmas wreath this year,
I haven't been out foraging for holly and fur trees but have started the slow process of drying my orange slices

The finished article with obviously totally look identical to this -

I am also making my own gift tags and wrapping paper.
Simply by buying kraft tags and paper and using a 'jo ho ho' stamp and dark red ink.
If I feel it needs further 'jazz', a bit of ribbon to finish them off.

Love those gift tags, I am really enjoying using brown paper this year! I bought myself a set of alphabet stamps yesterday so I've been experimenting with them using lines from carols to make some simple cards.

Thatsnotmysanta that list is impressive!! Mine is currently on the fridge, but it's divided more into what I can pre-buy and freeze and what will need to be fresh.

I currently have 5 packs of butter in my fridge and need 3 more! I may be the cause of the butter crisis! 😂

I'm glad I did it as I was short on eggs and butter, even though DH was all at me to start with!

Just found this thread this year. Love it! I’ve been making some hanging secs which I’m going to use as a little soft topper for some family members with dogs. They can then hang them on their trees next year. Here’s a pic.

Soft - meant to say gift topper 🙄

That makes more sense They look great!