Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

I ponced up my jars of jelly!

Wow! The stall looks amazing! So was it worthwhile doing?

Re: Hama beads. My kids made decorations with them when they were younger. They look lovely and still hang on our tree.

Wii thanks. I think over the 4 stalls I do it will work out 'worth it' but currently I've pretty much only covered my costs. But that means anything I sell at the next ones is purely profit for me. Plus I've done all my own decorations for free now as I've covered my costs. We'll see- it isn't going to be my retirement fund or anything, but if I can make £100 and cover my own costs I'll be thrilled.

Bear you're a genius! I don't live anywhere near an IKEA, but my mum is sending me a parcel and she can get to one.

If I mysteriously disappear, then my own mother murdered me as I said I didn't want the beads when she offered last time (I said they're too fiddly for DS, but I'll have fun with them now)

Hah. Word from the bitter depths of experience..... Get yourself some sort of compartmented tray (egg box, muffin tray etc etc) and sort yourself a little pile of each colour first. Then create. Trying to make them and having to sift through handfuls of the wrong colour is just a torture too far. I am so pleased dd's IKEA knockoff Hama days are behind us.

I can rope in DP and DS to help with that , but good point thanks.

DP made us sort the balls from the ball pit by colour so we know how many balls are in each bag .

Those jars of jelly look lovely!
I have to buy some more pectin jars and bottles today, and I have found some realyl reasonably priced mixed nuts in my local asian supermarket.

Opinons please:
I hate mushrooms, but we get them in the veg box from time to time so I usually give them to MIL or DM.
I propose dehydrating them (with dehydrator) packaging them up nicely with some dried celery onion and a bouquet garni and putting them in hampers as "Mushroom Soup Mix". Apparently it is a traditional Russian Christmas Eve dish, so I thought it all tied in nicely. DP thinks it seems a bit solemn, but as part of a whole hamper I think it will be nice.

My latest design of cards that I tried today. I think I really like this one, especially stuck on the green cards.

Hairspray I'm allergic to mushrooms so my opinion may not count but I agree that as part of a hamper it fits well. Sort of "batten down the hatches and eat something nourishing" aesthetic. Could you make some garlic croutons separately?

I am also allergic to mushrooms, but i really like the idea! I just couldn't eat it :)

Ah good, glad you like the idea, no allergies that I am aware of!

I will also make a little recipe card with a little bit of history of Sochevnik that is russian xmas eve, for a little bit of multicultural poncing!

MrsHathaway, I have never met anyone else allergic to mushrooms. In fact, people rarely believe me when I say I am!!

You, me and my DB

Who knew about mushrooms -ponders- hairspray as someone who loves mushrooms, soup kit sounds fab addition to a hamper especially with a little history/ culture card!

Wiifitmama love the jars of jelly and cards

cheshirechat as one of the Christmas crafts for the boys we are doing melting beads. Thanks for the tip newwave - I'll be keeping the egg box this week!

newwave congratulations on your first craft fair - the stall looked fab. If only I could use a sewing machine.

So today I organised the front room ready for first stage decorating next week.

To do list this week wrapping, cards and Christmas box. As we are a small family it shouldn't take long!

Hi there. I'm a serial early poster, low achiever on these threads but I love all the ideas!

A few years ago someone posted a cranberry & clementine gin recipe which I think they got from a tesco magazine. Anyone have that written down? It went down a storm with my in laws so I've decided to redo it this year for teacher gifts and personal use, but I can't find it.

On the poncing list are christmas puddings as usual, a new wreath (going to do the Hobbycraft star one on their blog) and pompom present decorations. Trying to get christmas shopping done and then I'll see how I am doing for time and money

I am loving the poncing! Would also be interested in the gin recipe I’ve got a whole bottle of Gordon’s (which I detest) that needs to be turned into something drinkable. Would be great to use it up as gifts!

Otherwise I am in awe of the crafting skills. Dd and I tried making cards a few weeks ago and she was not amused. 🙄

Question from a first time host and potential poncer... how far in advance can i make a mantelpiece garland with floristry oasis and fresh greenery cuttings? don't want a rotting garland for christmas day...!

MrsHathaway I just have to say your mince meat tree is beautiful! I can't see how you did it - but I won't aspire to anything so perfect anyway. I have a Christmas tree cake tin so will attempt something with that, probably a chocolate cake with white icing lines on the branches; that worked OK last year.

Gordon It depends on where you keep it. It'll keep longer in a cool (unheated) dark place (if you remember to spray with water) every so often. If you''re lucky for a week I suppose.

I like to gather a load of fresh greenery, chopped off\surplus Xmas tree branches etc. some with berries, on Christmas Eve put it in big vases and jugs and decorate almost like a tree but not too much .! I'm usually disappointed with wreaths. Bought ones and home made ones I don't know why!

FlowerPower321
I planted my Paperwhites on 7th but they are in my kitchen. They don't need to be too cold , you have to trick them into thinking it's Spring !
The roots are well established and the shoots are starting to grow. I would bring them inside , you can always put them somewhere cooler later to slow them down if needed .

FunnyFoursome
The marmalade gin is amazing but mine was very sharp so I have tipped some sugar in and will test again (hic)

@BloodyBridget try this video - honest to God, it's the easiest ponce I've ever ponced. Just follow the video but use mincemeat instead of Nutella and almonds.

I would recommend 750g supermarket's own brand puff pastry (two sheets) and 400g mincemeat (one jar).

Sorry to be dense, I thought I knew about flowers Trumpton but what are paperwhites?

Hey thanks MrsHathaway, maybe I will have a go at it! (Do you ever watch Bake Off - a second slice, or whatever it's called? When I try out a new recipe, I always imagine Jo Brand intoning "And this was Bridget's version . .")